The Grinding Meat Wheel

Still Twitching In Leroy

2012-01-29T12:55:00.002-05:00

A month later and they still don't know what's going on in Leroy, NY. They have diagnosed some of the cases as conversion reaction which is your old time hysteria. Then others think it is PANDAS, which is a chronic strep infection. Others think it is a reaction to the vaccine Gardasil or to antidepressants. My guess is it's just your old fashioned hysteria that was around in Salem Massachusetts, circa 1692. So far my mole in Leroy isn't talking.

Solyndra Gone Wild

2012-01-29T07:42:00.007-05:00

It seems that our energy efficient buildings are turning on us and our eco-friendly cars.

Who could have imagined that a building that looks like a giant reflector oven would fry things?

I have driven in Vegas and have had the sun reflect off one of these Revere-Ware buildings and blind me for about a dozen stoplights. Vegas is hot enough, the sun beats down "like a heat lamp gone ape." Do we really need to focus this solar-storm on our sunbathers and Priuses?

People from moderate climates can't understand that special southwest sun.
My first initiation was during my exploratory visit in 1973. I was told to go out and cool off the car before we went driving. The hose was lying in the sun and when I turned on the water I noticed this bubble in the hose at the nozzle. I was amazed, as I watched this bubble balloon to the size of a watermelon and become strangely translucent. I turned off the faucet and watched the bubble go down as I opened the hot nozzle using my shirt as a potholder. The water that came out was hot enough to brew tea. I let the water run a minute and then started to hose off the car in an attempt to make the interior temperature down to 99 degrees. As I was hosing it down I noticed the windshield is cracking in a dozen directions.

Occasionally, someone would leave a shiny object like a makeup compact mirror on the seat and that would ignite the dried out roof lining and cause the whole car to burn up. The other hazard was the seat belt buckles that could brand you like a steer.

In New Mexico visitors would go out in the desert after being warned of our unique solar abilities. These visitors would tell me "I'm already tanned". The locals knew you didn't go out in the sun between 10am and 3pm. These solar babies wouldn't listen and would come back looking like a walking Virginia Ham.

They should have asked the locals who have been fighting the sun with Reynolds Wrap and window tinting as dark as a beer bottle for decades. But, as the misguided eco-nuts think "so what if the swimmers are being immolated and the Priusis are melting, we saved a kilowatt." Then again, people who live where the temperature routinely is above 110 degrees
(a place formally inhabited by rattle snakes and scorpions) should expect an occasional spontaneous combustion.

Calvin Becker Trilogy

2012-01-22T08:27:00.003-05:00

Portofino was my favorite. This coming-of-age tale of the twelve year old child of Reformed Hyper-Calvinist missionary parents is like a magical trip back to everyone's favorite adolescent summer. I can recommend it for anyone over13. Five Stars

Zermatt was like Portofino gone emo. Chronologically this story takes place when Calvin is 14, so it is the second book. However, it seems to be shoe-horned in between the first two books. I did read this book last.
I can't imagine this dysfunctional family recovering enough to be the same family in Saving Grandma. Schaeffer demonstrates absurdity by being absurd. However, in Zermatt the tone goes dark, sad and pathological. The main thing it has in common with other two books are just the characters. This is an adult book with dark themes that should stand by itself. I'm sure some of excesses and pathology does exist in Christianity but when the author uses a family we kind of like and abruptly turns them into crazies, it reeks of the cheap-shot. "If it bends it's funny, If it breaks it isn't" and this story breaks. Standing alone it would be a good novel on the level of Death Of A Salesman or Streetcar Named Desire. I give it 3 stars.

This was my second favorite and the book that gave me the most guffaws. Maybe growing up New York Polish made Grandma so real to me. Polack's have a special ability to see through religious mumbo-jumbo and hypocrisy. I find myself trying to put faces from my past with the characters; to me this is a sign that the author got things right. The content is a bit more mature since Calvin is now almost 16, but overall the book would be good for teenagers. Five stars.

I recommend Portofina and Saving Grandma. Zermatt is coming-of-age breaking bad.

My Latest Hero

2012-01-22T07:56:00.003-05:00

What a great story. I have read many accounts of those special people who single-handedly cross oceans.

The most limiting factor is the the loneliness that makes most single-handers daffy.

The southern route around the horn versus going through the Suez Canal and dodging pirates. It's a hard call. The Roaring-Forties and the Southern Ocean versus the Muslim-Brotherhood navy.

I can't wait for the book.

Demotivational Babba

2012-01-21T19:06:00.002-05:00

Silly Books and Large Breasts: I Hate Them Both

2012-01-14T11:59:00.005-05:00

After starting the second book of the "Hunger Games Trilogy", I've given up on it. I know it was highly recommended, but it has the fatal flaw of being silly. Next I read about fifty pages of "The Art Of Racing In The Rain." I gave up on that, too. It was also recommended, but it seemed to be a lot of New Age pablum written in the fourth-person: the family dog. Plus, it seemed silly in this age of Obama fascism.

I needed a break from all this gloom so I decided to read the second book in the Calvin Becker Trilogy, "Saving Grandma." The first book, "Portofino" I totally enjoyed. I'd always rather have a book and I have Amazon Prime so shipping is free. However, it was $1.80 cheaper on the Kindle. So, since I wanted to read on this chilly weekend (22 degrees) that I'm on some imaginary back-up call because the anesthesiologist is 35 week pregnant, I purchased the Kindle book. After two chapters I'm glad I got it. The only problem is that CP doesn't like sharing her Kindle with me. Just because I accidentally turn on the wireless and returned a book to the library that she had waited three months for is no reason to get stingy with her Kindle.

Is it possible to find a chicken breast that isn't that isn't a 44-triple-D? What is this, "The Hens Of Orange County?" They take forever to cook and one is no longer just enough for one person. Plus, they're tough. Every once in a while I get one that seems to be made by Michelin. Somewhere out there, there must be a flock of flat-chested chickens. I understand that things always get bigger (today's Subaru Forester was yesterday's Outback) but with other things I can always trade down a model. When it comes to poultry bigger isn't better and just because you can breed a flock of feathered Dolly Partons, that doesn't mean you should. Someone should introduce a line of small tender, juicy, succulent chicken products; they can name it Emo-Chicken.

Must Watch

2012-01-13T17:27:00.001-05:00

Next Thursday Miss Piggy is going to be the guest judge on Project Runway. I can't wait!

Girls Gone Wild

2012-01-12T08:38:00.002-05:00

What's going on in Leroy? This is either some weird stuff or the biggest prank since "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." I need my peeps in the Leroy area to keep me updated on this.

It reminds me of my first day of school. They called my mother and told her they were sending me home because they thought I was retarded. My mother's reply was "I can assure you, He will not be retarded tomorrow."

Hopefully, my mole in the Chili School District can find something out about this story. It must be all the number one topic in the teacher's lounge. This is such an odd event, especially in the eco-freindly totalitarian Peoples Republic Of New York.

It's About Time Sombody In This Family Got Tenure

2012-01-09T16:34:00.003-05:00

Ben is now a "made man". He has tenure with the Clinton family. The last time someone in this family got tenure it was 1957, with the Gambino family. Now he is one of the family; Cosa Nostra.

Personally, I would not work for any organization that would give me tenure.

Congratulations Ben!

Jon Huntsman's Values

2012-01-07T15:40:00.006-05:00

This is what happens when your supporters include the fringe element of any persuasion. Ron Paul has repudiated this video. The problem is like having a family with to many crazy relatives, you run out of back rooms to hide them in. What is this video? Is it the trailer for the new movie Manchurian Village Of The Damned? Since the movie season is a bust I'm just waiting for the next campaign commercial.

Welsh Pre-Wash Cycle

2012-01-02T19:46:00.004-05:00

Bo does his part to help out in the kitchen (our dishwasher needs all the help it can get). In fact he gets really impatient if the dishes aren't cleared in a timely manner. Tonight I noticed that when I put a drippy plate in rack and the gravy dripped on the door he pushed the rack in to reach the gravy on the door. Then I stuck the greasy pan in the back of the washer and he pulled the rack out to lick it. Maybe I should get him a stepladder and let him just stand at the sink and do the dishes.

I hope this doesn't dissuade any of our dinner guests from coming back again.

Iowa Is Just A Four Letter Word........Dumb

2012-01-02T08:13:00.022-05:00

I'm so tired of this Iowa Caucus. The Iran War has started, civil war has started in Nigeria, Iran is threatening to blockade the Strait Of Hormuz and our beloved Caliph wants to borrow another 1.3 trillion.

A caucus is a group of people that meet and argue for their candidate until the rest of the group gets exhausted and goes home. What kind of a way is this to pick a candidate? It reminds me of a Yankee Candle Party without the passion. We are so worried about access to the polls for minorities and illegals, but how many of those are going to get an invitation to the neighborhood block party? How much intimidation can one suffer at the hands of the mini-mob? It's much more intimidating to show your driver's license to a poll-worker. I'm so tired of 23 hours of caucus news coverage that I'm tempted to vote for Huntsman. He's the the only one with enough testosterone to tell them corn-shucking ethanol subsidized yahoos where to go.

In the meantime I'm just consoling myself by doing demotivational posters of the Iowa Republican nominees.

Happy New Year from Siri

2011-12-31T11:18:00.011-05:00

Babba's New Year's Resolutions:

Become an off the grid, Prius driving, medicinal marijuana growing, trans-fat free, free-range, non caged Ron Paul supporter.

Speaking of my 2012 revolt against technology, how about this kids iPhone that told him where to go. I have to purchase some droid named Siri to tell me the same thing I hear at work everyday.

The average American family's net worth decreased $127,000.

Cheer up, things are not all lost; this fellow will be picking the Republican presidential nominee.

Bo Time

2011-12-16T21:53:00.001-05:00

Faces In The News

2011-12-12T17:31:00.002-05:00

Is it just me, or is there a slight resemblance? I knew there was a reason I like Chelsea.

Positively "K" Street

2011-12-11T15:55:00.003-05:00

"Positively 4th Street" was the first 45 rpm record I ever bought. It was my introduction to Bob Dylan around 1966. Last night I watched the Republican debate in Iowa. It was the first debate I watched this year. This morning I was driving and thinking about the debate when "Positively 4th Street" came on. This Dylan tune although not one his famous "finger-pointing" songs kind of summed my whole attitude towards Washington D.C. and "K" street especially.

You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that’s winning

You say I let you down
You know it’s not like that
If you’re so hurt
Why then don’t you show it

You say you lost your faith
But that’s not where it’s at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You’re in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don’t know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, “How are you?” “Good luck”
But you don’t mean it

When you know as well as me
You’d rather see me paralyzed
Why don’t you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I’d rob them

And now I know you’re dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don’t you understand
It’s not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is
To see you

Kahuna Snow-Blower

2011-12-08T19:13:00.002-05:00

The Almanac predicts a brutal winter on "YOMAMA DRIVE"

Shower Faucet Part Deux

2011-12-03T10:34:00.004-05:00

All week I waited patiently until Sat. came to replace the mixing valve in our bedroom shower. Since I couldn't isolate the shower from the rest of the plumbing it was stressful.

What I did right:
1) bought the right part (thank you, Amazon)
2) used plumber's grease
3) turned off the water
4) didn't break a pipe in the wall
5) didn't once mention "your sister's rear end"

What I did wrong:
1) installed the valve a hundred and eighty degrees off
2) didn't once mention "your sister's rear end"

I put it in and looked for leaks and turned it on; it seemed fine. I brought CP in to see it. When one drop fell from the shower head, she said "It still leaks." I explained to CP how with the double shower head and my heated shower mirror one could expect a single drop of water after it's turned off. Then I turned it on full and waited for the hot water that never came. After considering all the possibilities and remembering which plumber I wanted, I realized that the valve was in upside down. I could have gone back to my Polish roots and just left it like that; eventually we would have gotten used to the HOT coming on first and then the COLD. However, I reluctantly did the job over again and now it operates the same as all the showers in the Northern Hemisphere. The final touch was to remove the safety stop that keeps the water from getting hot enough to burn little Johnny's bottom. In a year from now I'll know exactly what to do when the other bathroom bath faucet starts to leak.

Hey! Who's that guy having an "experience" in my shower?

I Hate Kohler Products

2011-11-19T08:10:00.005-05:00

I hate Kohler plumbing fixtures. I replaced the kitchen sink fixture with a Delta faucet and then a few months later I have a dripping shower in my bed room. Short of removing the whole shower stall I have to fix the existing P.O.S. Kohler mixer valve. This is a bit scarier than the kitchen sink because I can't isolate the water supply to the shower. I have to shut off the main valve and fill up a few 5 gallon buckets of water to guarantee CP five good flushes.

I watched the repair on YouTube so I feel totally capable of doing this whole job in thirty minutes. The part is available on Amazon for half the cost of buying it at Lowe's. It's not that I'm some kind environmental-commie-lib-vegan-global warming-aquifer bathing-socialist (I realize it would take ten years of drip to make up the cost of the $26 valve) it's just I grew up with dripping faucets. As a child janitor I played with re-seating tools, lamp-wick and a tin of assorted rubber washers on a monthly basis.

One thing I've learned in sixty years is don't work on the plumbing right before Thanksgiving. There's nothing like a house full people and no water to bring down the mood. Well like Red Green would say, "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

I Just Got Tired Of Waiting David

2011-11-08T17:07:00.003-05:00

If you're tired and confused
And you don't remember who you're talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because your baby, sweetheart, sugar's so far away

And there's a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love
Honey, love the one you're with (that's right)
Love the one you're with

Bo

The Babba One "G" Network

2011-11-04T17:26:00.005-04:00

This is my cell phone that I've had for five years. I'm sure it's a dinosaur but I get my calls nevertheless. I went with Ben to Verizon for his i-Phone with the 5G network and voice recognition that tells you you're fat when you pick up a doughnut. Now with SIRI formally IRIS allows you to stop talking to idiots all day long and just talk to your phone. It's sort of replaced the magic Eight Ball of the 60's. There's nothing as fulfilling as walking around with a hand held device that has more information than the New York Public Library.
Poor Babba, "One G", goes into the Verizon Store hoping to see some cell phones. The store is full of Droids, Blackberries, iPhones and Smart-Phones. Off in some dark corner marked bargain-bin are three primitive cell phones. The message is clear: if you only want a cell phone you must be some low-life Cretan that only needs a phone in case you break your hip on the way to the day-room.

Since I don't want a desk-top computer on my hip, or an eight pixel camera, or a GPS, or a talking friend, perhaps I should pick up a few Motorola W-385 cell phones before they are kept behind the counter and carried in brown paper bags.

Latest Read

2011-11-01T19:39:00.003-04:00

I'm halfway through a book about the Italian artist Caravaggio. I reserved
the book thinking it was more of a biography than an art history text, but I'm being pleasantly surprised.

What I'm surprised to learn is how religious art was created as an aid to prayer and meditation. The commoner would meditate on the the painting and put themselves into the story. That answers a question I always had as to why the great artists mostly paint anachronistically. That's why one sees pictures of the Madonna dressed like Mary Queen of Scots.

So I'm making my way through this 450 page book which is mostly about art. I'm almost halfway and the book is due back in a week. It is weird to read about Rome, the eternal city where I walked and visited the churches, the squares, the neighborhoods and the ghettos. The city is a museum with its art displayed in every chapel, church, cemetery and plaza. I hope to return in the spring.

Maybe by then there will be a new Caravaggio. Maybe his next fresco will be "The Holy Family Escapes To Egypt In A Punto."

A Journey of 8,760 Days

2011-10-29T19:41:00.002-04:00

1987 Marianne starts school in Derry Pennsylvania.
8,760 days later Marianne emerges with a PhD in literature.

How will she handle a terminal degree? Could there be an MFA in her future, an "Our Town Theater?"

Babba's Picks

2011-10-17T19:09:00.004-04:00

--------- Occupy Reality ----------

"American Thinker" Goes Politically Correct

2011-09-25T07:40:00.005-04:00

Help! I'm being repressed!

American Thinker has gone "pansy". I have been banned from commenting on their site. So much for an open forum. My comment was funny, that's all, just funny. It was accurate. I've noticed that A.T. has become rather bland. It's sort of like the the Baptist, Home School, Emily Post lobby has taken over their comment moderation bureau (aka STASI).

I won't miss A.T. too much. They have become P.C. boring. They have about a hundred authors that just recycle the same dozen themes. I think I'm in good company with the hundreds of other revokees. I have broken the 11th Commandment, thou shall not offend.
As John Adams said in the musical 1776:
"This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to offend SOMEbody!"

Anyway, I've been tossed out of better places than A.T.

The More Things Stay The Same

2011-09-24T07:52:00.007-04:00

Nebraska Educators Issue Grinding Alert In Advance Of High School Homecoming Dance | The Smoking Gun

I can't imagine why anyone would bring a grinder to a dance. Perhaps, they are afraid of the sparks causing a fire.

Oh, you mean the other grinding, that chance to grope a girl you never met? Oh, the torture of dancing all those fast songs for that chance to catch a slowie with that special person (by special I mean having the XX chromosome). The usual ratio was five fast songs to one grinder. Unfortunately, one could not count on this and sometimes one missed the train completely by going to the bathroom. There was a group of bottom-feeders that only danced the slow songs; they hid in the shadows like U-Boats waiting for a convoy. The bonus-play was the fast song that morphed to a grinder. There the hunter had the advantage of still having direct contact with his prey. Some girls were able to escape this trap by bolting away like a herd of gazelles.

The enemy of the grinder was the K-of-C ushers at the Catholic School dances. They wouldn't give you a warning, they would pick you up by the arms and hurl you out into the alley with the rest of the trash. They didn't tolerate any torso-to torso contact. The rules were one hand three inches above the waist, other hand held high up in the air with palm facing backwards and at least two inches of free air between you and the girl. If you lost your head and actually touched, an usher would come running over and place his hand between you and whisper in your ear "leave room for the Holy Ghost." This warning would immediately cause the young man to lurch back like he touched a spark plug.

Somehow, even with all these impediments one occasionally walked a girl home, got her phone number and never called her. It's good to see that traditional values are making a come back.

Good Book

2011-09-21T16:50:00.004-04:00

I finally found a decent book. Quite a surprise, since my local branch library's new fiction section is 99% schlock.

It's about how a family that ran the Warsaw Zoo hid Jews during the Holocaust. It's not your usual ghetto memoir. It's a tale about animals and humanity. Maybe it's because I'm half Polish, but I did relate to the plight of Poland. The Poles were a conquered people only outdone by the Sicilians.

This book was recommended to me. I've decided that from now on I'm only reading books with personal recommendations; just going to the library is a waste of time.

Two Vehicles Slam House

2011-09-13T17:17:00.007-04:00

WLOS ABC 13 News :: Top Stories - Serious Injury: Two Vehicles Slam House

A little excitement here in Fletcher. Every six months someone would take out a pole or a fence on this curve, but this time they got a house. This time we heard a bigger bang and the usual snap as the transformer blew up. Quite the excitement on the circle.

We met more new people than we do at the annual neighborhood garage sale. It took the paramedics 2 hours to get the victims out, another couple of hours to get the vehicles out of the bedroom and then two more hours to get the power back on. CP and I went out to Bojangle's for fried chicken, then it was listening to podcasts until we went to bed. I'm glad I had this EMERGENCY LEGO MAN to give us light. (Thanks, Marianne!) Just a twenty second crank and we had light in our bathroom until morning. I should tell Glenn Beck about the amazing Lego End Times Night Light.

Do you think those people will have to disclose their house was in an accident when they try to sell it? I looked at that house six years ago when it was new and thought to myself "I don't want to live ten feet below dead-mans-curve." After the previous crash the town put in steel I-Beams and a guard rail; I wonder what they will add now? Giant boulders? In the land of NASCAR, you shouldn't build your house in the pit.

9/11: "So Ten Years Ago"

2011-09-11T07:57:00.006-04:00

I thought one celebrates their victories, not their defeats. It’s “T-Ball,” estrogen-laden, liberalism that has reduced us to a nation of Pollyanna’s. Ten years after 9/11 we are bankrupt, mired in recession and celebrating a a five acre hole in the ground.

Every week in Israel some homicide-bomber blows up a busy intersection and kills a hundred people. What do the Israelis do? They rebuild the intersection, the stores reopen and life goes on. A month later all that remains of the incident are perhaps some small holes in the stucco. Here we build a park, we commission some artist to create a statue. In some Jackson Pollard way that statue is supposed to remind us of what happened while not making us angry. Ground Zero is New York's number one tourist attraction. It eclipses the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building and Yankee Stadium. Hey everyone, come take a look at America's hole!

America's hole is so big that five trillion dollars of debt, twenty percent unemployment, airport strip searches and the lives of ten thousand soldiers can't fill it. We now have ten million dollar border crossing stations on rural farm roads on the Canadian border. We now have senior citizens and children marching past TSA agents while they yell Mach-Schnell! at our airports. We have a sheriff in Pigs Knuckle Arkansas with an Apache helicopter. We have transparent backpacks, metal detectors in malls, color coded threat levels and duct tape on our windows. We have trillions of dollars of wasted money, all meant to create the illusion of safety.

Someone who has been to Afghanistan told me what it will take to win that war: “20 years, 20 trillion dollars and 200,000 lives.” We have neither the will, nor the resources. We send out a million dollar missile to kill two peasants. The Taliban hires a peasant for five dollars, gives him a hundred year old rifle and twenty dollars worth of ammo and he keeps a whole company of Marines pinned down for a day and possibly kills one.

As a nation we have grown old and entered the stage of despair. We talk about the old-days, we make do with less, we are consumed with security and stifled by ambivalence. We think in terms of our life expectancy instead of our children's future. We are a collection of platitudes, PSA commercials, politically correct androgynous zombies claiming to be free a people. A free people would have rebuilt the Trade Center in two years, made it 125 stories high and put SAM missiles on the roof instead of a restaurant. Instead, "men without chests" and a throng of "empty suits" will be holding a Ten Year Celebration. Fill the freakin hole! It's a hole in the heart of our country. Then again, perhaps they are afraid of losing the tourist dollars.

The U.S. is like the cape buffalo surrounded by hyenas. It’s death by a thousand small bites. We don’t feel the bites because we are too busy celebrating our “hole in the ground.”

Dumb Holiday

2011-09-05T13:45:00.010-04:00

It's raining here which tends to make a boring BS holiday even more of a snooze. CP is working however, and since I'll be retiring soon I'm trying to find new ways to pull my weight. Against all common sense and intuition CP agreed to let me do the grocery shopping. I was off to Wally's at 0800 with my detailed list of items for this week's menu. The above picture shows all the Great Value items I picked up for CP's Mexican dish for Weds. night church.

Here are the four items I got wrong. I never imagined there were 24 different types of canned tomatoes. There are stewed, crushed, peeled, paste, shredded, sliced, diced, pureed and pitted. They also come in Mexican, Italian, French and Dill varieties; I never heard of the country of Dill. I also screwed up the Hidden Valley Ranch dressing by getting the dip instead. No-Salt diced tomatoes; wrong again. I got so excited that I found the last can of Tex-Mex tomatoes, however, I got the diced instead of the stewed. Then CB ignored the Campbell's beef broth on the list and got the Great-Value brand which isn't condensed.

Luckily, Wally's is less than a mile away so I'm off to return the four wrong items and hopefully get the right stuff. But guess what? Wally's doesn't carry stewed tomatoes Mexican style, so I still have to go to the supermarket find that one style of stewed tomatoes that the recipe calls for.

CP was just so sure me doing the shopping would be a disaster that her eyes are rolling back in her head when I try to explain. She is praying "Oh God please don't let him retire." Imagine what life would be like as one big continuous rainy dumb holiday.

Labor Day Weekend, Without The Jobs

2011-09-04T07:59:00.008-04:00

It was a choice between the Apple Festival in Hooterville and the LAAFF Festival in Asheville. I prefer the latter. I'm just not ready for the Dockers and pastels of the AARP crowd. I get enough senior agitation at work.
I tried to book this band for an opening act at the Feed-n-Seed. They didn't have a business card, a telephone # or a web-site. I think they just met each other that morning at a bar. The clogger came prepared with her own little dance floor. Now in Greenville you will get a ticket for playing in the street. In Asheville you can make a good living at it.

This is your car on "Asheville". So many bumper stickers and so little space. I'm imagining this going down I-26 shedding the Taj-Mahal and its cast of characters.

The Activia Challenge

2011-09-01T19:02:00.003-04:00

We must keep Bo's digestive system in tune, otherwise he gets sluggish and grumpy.

Man Versus Bear

2011-08-30T19:26:00.000-04:00

WLOS ABC 13 News :: Top Stories - Man Versus Bear

The heck with Hurricane Irene, the national debt, and earthquakes, this is the kind of news we like in western North Carolina.

Bo's Thoughts

2011-08-28T20:04:00.004-04:00

I'll Throw In The Kitchen Sink

2011-08-28T08:33:00.004-04:00

I've had it with our kitchen faucet. It's this fancy Kohler model that I can't find parts for. I found some generic O-Rings to fix its leaky stem, but otherwise parts are hard to find. About three years ago the diverter valve for the sprayer stopped working. Lateley the valve has caused the faucet to occasionally develop BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy) and just go into dribble mode. Last week I was cleaning the fridge and just couldn't take the lack of spray nozzle any longer.

I went to Lowe's and picked up a cheap Price-Pfister brand one. I haven't changed a faucet in forty years and I was amazed at how easy it is now. No more pipe compound, basin wrench, pipe cutting etc. I just had to replace the original plastic pipes with flexible hoses. Everything went relatively smoothly except for having a problem snapping in the sprayer hose (I had to remove the whole fixture once because it didn't just "snap in" like the directions stated). Only three trips to Lowe's to get the job done. The replacement generic $40 single handle faucet is perfectly adequate. I'm so pumped-up I may even put a new toilet seat in the guest bathroom. I don't want to go nuts here, we'll probably sell this dump next year. Plumbing is much easier than it was in circa 1968. Plus, I have a working spray nozzle!

Vacation pix

2011-08-20T20:21:00.011-04:00

Marianne, David and the little
woman.

Primitive conditions; slow cable.

David's Pork Roast

It's not the humidity; it's the
6,000 ft. elevation.

I know Mom!

We will put the Fabric Store here.

Help, I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!

The D-Q Sandwich

A road to nowhere; another broken
government promise.

Bar is open!

View from the porch.

Ice Cream for lunch.

Single Scoop

Dam Picture

Step back a bit.

It's a tick.

Joyce Kilmer Forest.

The time share Ben is buying for
Marianne and David.

Great Smokey Mountains

2011-08-16T19:34:00.010-04:00

Cabin number 7 is not on the lake, per-se. However we do have lake access.

Things are real quiet here in the Smokey's. The lake is absolutely abandoned. We were here three days before we saw a boat. I think the heat wave ended when we arrived. It has been very cool and clear so far and we haven't suffered the usual onslaught of heat and insects. We visited all the usual sights and have been swimming a lot. Who wants to be sitting in a cafe' in Sorrento when you can be hiking the width of the Appalachian Trail in N.C.?

Today we crossed Huckleberry Knob, a place where a band of travelers perished in a snowstorm a hundred years ago. They were about 8 miles from Robbinsville when they were caught in a blizzard at six thousand feet. "Maybe I finally found it, way down here in the mud. Maybe from down here I can start up again, be something I can be proud of, without having to fake it, be a fake human being."

Summer In The City

2011-07-30T20:19:00.008-04:00

Wait! Isn't that a guy in a dress?

It's ninety degrees today, but that can't keep us from going to the Bele-Chere Festival in Asheville. We saw our favorite band Sirius-B as well as the usual freakazoids. No festival would be complete without street acrobats.
Sirius-B
CP and I can't wait to try this at home
CP wants this wall hanging for our living room.

Every fifty yards were street preachers with bull horns adding to the ambiance.

It was so hot that the butterflies were out.

Leggo My Pleco

2011-07-24T17:21:00.002-04:00

My pleco's are not affected by the heat wave or the federal deficit.

Hypostomus plecostomus (known colloquially as a sucker fish) is the scientific name for a type of freshwater tropical Central and South American fish belonging to the family Loricariidae. They are large algae eaters, and to differentiate them from small algae eaters, they are often referred to as plecostomus, often abbreviated as plecos or plecs. They are extremely popular in aquaria for their ability to clean tanks by eating algae growth and dead fish. In Malaysia, these fish are called 'ikan bandaraya' or 'municipal fish' in English because of their ability to clean fish tanks. These friendly-natured fish can typically be purchased when about 8 cm (3 inches) and may grow up to 60 cm (2 ft) if there is adequate room, making them mostly impractical for any but the largest aquariums.

One Easy Payment

2011-07-19T19:37:00.008-04:00

We went to see our financial planner again. Two weeks ago we were 10% away from retirement, now we are 20% away from our goal. We also looked into Long Term Care Insurance. CP and I can get a good policy that covers everything til we're 91. All this for one easy payment of $119,000. The day that I write a $119,000 check for an insurance premium is the day I have a stroke and end up in a nursing home.

Speaking of long term care. This heat is getting to Bo. He spends hours paw-up under the ceiling fan. I bet he's not thinking of Long Term Care Insurance and protecting his assets, especially since his assets right under the fan.

Carol Have You Seen The Brush For The Grill?

2011-07-10T19:33:00.001-04:00

Time To Look Over The Portfolio

2011-07-09T07:10:00.008-04:00

Every few years i have to go in for a checkup. I'm not talking about a routine physical which is a waste of time and money, but a meeting with our Financial Planner. We sat down and looked at all our spread sheets and graphs and came to the conclusion that we are only 10% short of our goal of retirement.

Now I'm not talking about buying a vineyard in Napa Valley, but just being comfortable in a shack in the desert. I sure don't want to retire like my neighbors and spent my life clipping coupons and eating mac-n-cheese.

My adviser reminds me that this assessment is only valid for July 7th, 2011 at 4 pm EST. Of course, four more years of Obama may reduce my investments to petty cash. There is one glaring deficiency: a lack of Long Term Care Insurance. I really don't need the life insurance and disability insurance as much as I need to protect my assets in case I spend the last twenty years in a nursing home drooling and trying to eat my own face. It's just one of those things that sneaks up on you.

Hopefully, I have a few years before I fall off my perch or join the fog-walkers (a group of seniors from an assisted living center that walk around the hospital grounds holding walking sticks and wrapped in reflective tape).

Hopefully, the government won't seize my 401K, 403B or SEP accounts in their quest for shared responsibility (shared irresponsibility seems more accurate). If the government decides to steal my retirement I'll just have to repatriate to Italy; maybe then I'll buy a vineyard. Sitting in my vineyard in Atri, under the Abruzzo sun sounds much better than sitting in the day-room watching the QVC channel.

Red White and Brevard

2011-07-04T16:01:00.003-04:00

We went to the July 4th Festival in Brevard.

This sign was over the urinals in the American Legion. To thine own septic system remain true.

I wanted to buy CP this Ford Pinto. It even came with Firestone 500 Fiberglass Belted Radial Tires.

This 57 Chevy Bel-Air had a radio designed after it; the Element was designed after a Toaster.

This would be a good replacement for the old Cutlass.

Of course we couldn't miss the Community Theater's production of "RED, WHITE and Blaine."

Finally; Something To Read

2011-07-02T17:18:00.005-04:00

After waiting four months, my book request finally came available. "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua. I read an article about her in the WSJ in March and was convinced that she had something to say judging by the uproar on the left and the right. So far, after sixty pages I'm really enjoying it. It's a must read for future parents. Along with Cesar Millan's book "Cesar's Way" it's all a young couple needs to raise outstanding children. You can take Dr. Spock and all that schlock in the Christian Book Stores and hit the kid over the head with it.

American Sepsis

2011-07-02T07:05:00.007-04:00

We are in "deep doo-doo." I think of all things in terms living organisms, thus this great republic has moved from localized infection to sepsis. We have an abscess; it's called the Federal Debt. For twenty years this localized pocket of pus has simmered where we didn't have to notice it. Whenever it would flare we would just add some homeopathic goo to it to make us feel like we were doing something. This boil on the nation's butt is getting so big we can't as a nation collectively sit on our ass anymore. Then along comes our Socialist President whose prescription is to bleed the patient.

The conservatives want to bring out the "big guns." They want to use antibiotics. They want to get serious about this: they're even talking about cutting Planned Parenthood and NPR. They're talking PIC Lines and Vancomycin. However, that boil is walled off and all that medicine is going to do is piss it off. There is only one cure for the peri-rectal abscess we're sitting on; it has to be drained. The alternative is a septic nation.The toxins have already damaged our defenses, broken down our cell wall integrity and caused a general malaise. Until someone comes along with the courage to lance that boil and let the pus flow this patient is going to limp along on life support until each organ system shuts down.

The nation is like a child who refuses to have his tonsils out, or the sexually promiscuous teenager who is doubled over with the pain of pelvic inflammatory disease (aka pus-in-dare) who is afraid of the knife. Sooner or later that pus is going to come out, whether by war or revolution. The pus always wins, especially when the patient is too stupid to go under the knife.

WARNING: This Warning is Graphic.

2011-06-25T10:38:00.010-04:00

Now that the nanny-state has decided to put graphic photos of lung cancer, tracheotomies, and ventilators on cigarette packs we can all relax. After forty years of state education Americans now need shock photos to permeate our thick skulls, because obviously we can't read a written warning or consider risk. I remember Black-Lung being displayed at Science Fairs when I was in school. I guess it kept me from working in a coal mine, but I still tried smoking. And I didn't quit because I was shocked at a young age by a charcoal sea-sponge. Now that most of the country is illiterate and has the critical thinking capacity of a gnat, I see endless possibilities for graphic warnings.

Warning: Obama now controls your thermostat.

Warning: May contain up to 15% ethanol.

Warning: Do not text while driving.

Warning: TSA security screening ahead.

Warning: Fast food may contribute to childhood obesity.

Warning: Jogging may lead to cardiac arrhythmia.

Warning: Twitter can lead to unemployment.

Warning: Living in New York can lead to unemployment.

Warning: Staying at Comfort-Inn may lead to scratching.

Warning: Breaking a CFL light bulb may lead to Spring Cleaning.

Skype-Bo

2011-06-19T13:21:00.002-04:00

Ben, when are you coming home? These guys are soo boring.

Bo

And If I Was An Oscar-Meyer Weiner Everyone Would Be In Love With Me

2011-06-17T19:59:00.003-04:00

We need to keep New York around just for comic relief. I have made a few mistaken calls with my cell phone, but usually it's a picture of my seat belt buckle. In fact in the early days of cell phones I would usually make a few inadvertent calls a day. My children would affectionately refer to these dead calls and text photos of the Toyota's stick shift as "Dad's Ass Calls." One time I even dialed 911 while trying to retrieve a quarter at the drive-up window. However, it seems like the whole 4-G network has conspired to entrap one N.Y. congressman with the unfortunate name of Weiner.

The amazing thing is that although crooks, perverts, philanderers and reprobates have always existed, now they think they can just continue to hold public office once they're caught. Whatever happened to the honorable thing: commit "Sepaku", or at least resign and dedicate the next few years of your life to authentic public service. Today we are expected to accept a 4-G flasher (minus the raincoat) as representative of the people. What happened to the ho-hum affair with the secretary or night with a call-girl? Now we have to endure all this weird crap that would even make a Kennedy blush.

Weiner didn't care about his wife, his constituents, his party or the women he flashed. It was all about him saving his career. The same selfish, narcisistic ego that drives these elites prevents them from seeing the damage they cause. Whether it's John Edwards, Jimmy Swaggart or Bill Clinton, it's all about them.

When I worked in a small town in West Virginia there was a fellow who worked in a large national brand poultry plant. Now this guy was caught on camera having connubial relations with the turkeys. Unlike an elected official he was fired. The story was reported in the local paper (they printed his name and address) and the jokes came hot and heavy. Every trash can in town contained a turkey, and even some chickens were implicated by association. One day at work someone pointed the perp out to me. I thought to myself, how can this guy stay in this town of 2,000 people? Maybe he missed his calling, he should have run for the County Commission. Down here in S.C. we had a guy arrested twice for his relationship with his neighbor's horse. They didn't even have a law on the books to deal with it. I think it was plea-bargained down to animal cruelty. What can I say, after Bill Clinton the country lost all sense of shame.

Grill Baby Grill

2011-06-16T18:39:00.003-04:00

We can argue about anything. Case in point, our cruddy old gas grill. The vaporizer bar which I replaced along with the burner assembly a year ago rusted and vaporized. Also, the universal cooking grate that I replaced for a second time is starting to rust away. Now the old grill looks like hell no matter how much I clean it, so I'm considering the cost of:
new burner $18
vaporizer bar $19
cooking grate $12
S&H $13
----
Total $62

For me that's a no brainer, order the parts. Especially since there is no sales tax. For CP however, buying a new one for $99 makes sense. Then I realize it would be good to have a second tank. It seems like it always runs out of gas when I'm cooking a steak. However, in the last six years the LP tank is no longer included with the grill. A full second tank costs $42 at Lowe's, so I'll have to shop around.

I went to Wally's and wasn't impressed with their Red Chinese gas grills. Especially since they were already getting rusty from being outside. So I went to Lowe's and got the clone of the Char-Broil cheapie we already have. I wasn't being a CB, I just don't need a four burner grill that can cook forty burgers and make two side dishes.

Well, I chopped up the old one after cannibalizing the good parts. Hopefully the new one will last more than five years. I keep it covered and we do use it all year round so I don't know what else I can do (short of using it in the house) to keep it from rusting. I hope our picky garbage man doesn't notice the heavy green bag shaped like a grill in our can.

In Maryland we had a couple of classic grills. I had to stake them to the ground because we lived on windy mountain top. Occasionally I would find it laying on the ground and the burgers in the grass. I also strategically placed it by the dryer exhaust to give my meat that that mellow Downy Fabric Softener taste. One of them was so rusted it collapsed when I threw a steak on it.

The new grill has this chain that is suppose to somehow attach to the tank. I'm not exactly how it is supposed to attach and what its purpose is, but I'm sure there is a lawyer involved somewhere. Hopefully it will last awhile. I do have a spare burner whenever that one rusts out. I should just baste my burgers with WD-40.

What is Bo going to do without a greasy grill to lick?

Here's Your Sign

2011-06-12T07:22:00.008-04:00

One thing I noticed in Europe is that the roads aren't cluttered with ridiculous signs. I don't recall seeing any stop signs and perhaps a few yield signs and speed limit signs. Traffic lights are only on major thoroughfares. Everywhere traffic simply merges into roundabouts. The other thing is Italians know how to drive, they don't just drift around in a semi-comatose state with a cell phone in their ear and a burrito on their lap.

They tried a roundabout in Asheville , but it didn't work. People just stopped dead and spilled their Slurpies in their laps. I drove into Asheville yesterday and was amazed at all the traffic lights I had to stop for. Every little strip mall and retirement community had its own stop light. Are people too stupid to make a right turn after a stop? Or if traffic is heavy and they can't go left, does anyone have the cerebral capacity to turn right and then turn around or actually discover a different route? UPS did a study and found out that skipping left turns completely actually saves fuel.

Now we have signs that warn us of up-coming signs. What do you expect from a country of pre-diabetics, pre-hypertensives and pre-cancer neurotics?

There is a lot of money in signs and there is no limit to the stupidity that can be placed at our roadsides. Do they make us safer? No, they don't. They just overcome our senses and make us oblivious to the real hazards. While you're studying the No Parking Sign for the "pregnant senior citizens with peanut allergies" you may not see that Frito-Lay truck backing into you.

I just love sitting at a light for three minutes at 5 am waiting for the stop light for the post office to change. I just love sitting behind a school bus that can't for some reason make a right turn on red. Who thought that one up? No wonder we use so much fossil fuel, we are stopping at deserted intersections, having to slow down to 20 mph when some medicated blond pulls out in front of you and forgets where the gas pedal is while texting. Sometimes you have to go abroad to see what's wrong here. It's like the generation raised on "T-Ball" all got their drivers licenses in Asheville.

Some signs I would like to see:

DON'T STOP DEAD WHEN MERGING ON THE INTERSTATE.
MAKE LEFT TURNS INTO LEFT LANE AND RIGHT TURNS INTO RIGHT LANE.
DON'T ENTER AN INTERSECTION YOU CAN'T CLEAR.
IF YOU INSIST ON DRIVING LIKE MR. MAGOO STAY IN THE RIGHT LANE.
PUT THE CELL PHONE DOWN- YOU'RE NOT THAT IMPORTANT.
IF YOU CAN'T WORK THE T.V. REMOTE DON'T MAKE LEFT TURNS.
IF YOU CAN'T BUCKLE YOUR OWN SEATBELT, DON'T DRIVE.

Bird Dog

2011-06-09T15:03:00.004-04:00

Bo always keeps us on our toes. Usually when he is quiet for a long time he's up to no good. Yesterday when he was in the yard in the heat for 10
minutes without barking to come in, I got suspicious. Carol goes to let him in and screams "he's got something in his mouth!" Well, he had a dead bird. It wasn't some little sparrow either. It was some young buzzard or something. Bo was in his glory, getting in touch with his feral self while we were trying to pry his mouth open and get the bird out. Of course his one inch long incisors wouldn't let go so we tried shaking him back and forth like a cocktail shaker. We then tried the old trick of throwing down a dog biscuit, but he wasn't going to let go of his bird for a piece of dry sawdust. Finally, we got it out of his mouth and picked it up guts and all. It was just the excitement we needed at 9 pm.

Fish Story

2011-06-05T18:13:00.006-04:00

The fishing wasn't that great. It seemed like the fish had GERD, they kept spitting out the hooks. I did hook about a 2 lb small mouth bass but he got off after a 5 second fight. No trophies, just 4 small bass and a few bluegills. It was a great morning, surprisingly cool and very relaxing.

Great Movie

2011-06-04T22:12:00.002-04:00

Sometimes you just need a Feel-Good movie, especially one about fashion and photography. This is a must see for Marianne.

No Respect

2011-06-04T22:02:00.003-04:00

OK, let's make fun of the old guy.

I knew they were up to something when they borrowed my name badge. Another reason not to retire.

The End Of A Beautiful Friendship

2011-05-28T11:27:00.006-04:00

I've finally have had it with the Oldsmobile. After eight return trips to the mechanic and $700 the A/C is still broken. Actually it was done in by Al Gore and his new toxic Freon. I hate to give up on it , but I can't drive in a Dutch Oven and I think I created a one car Freon shortage in western N.C. I can't face the mechanic again and I'm sure it's becoming a lose/loose situation all around. Yesterday I was driving home and some senior made a left in front of me from the center lane and for a moment I thought it might be better to hit him and end this saga. The 1993 brakes almost guaranteed a hit but at the last second I swerved around him. American drivers are brain-dead; an Italian driver would have blown his horn, gunned it and passed in front of me. However, in true befuddled, senile, distracted, medicated North Carolina driving style he crossed my lane and stopped dead.

Marianne wants the car for just tooling around Grove City. My response to that offer is similar to Rep. Joe Wilson's comment during Obama's health care speech: "YOU LIE". I know she would take it to Fargo N.D. and break down and have to call Uncle Dick.

So, instead of putting it in the classifieds and having a dozen Mexicans at my door I have decided to I'm going to donate it to a local missionary. It's sort of like pulling the plug on Grandma because she has a toothache, but perhaps he knows someone who can fix the A/C. It's all Al Gore's fault.

GPS Recommended

2011-05-20T08:09:00.004-04:00

Map of Rome for tourists.

Map of Rome based in reality.

Next time in Rome I'm going to have a Tom-Tom stuck to my forehead with a suction cup. We must have walked an extra 15 miles just being lost. I had moments when I felt like a rat in some sadistic scientist's experiment. On the bright side the maze was lined with gelato stands, pizzerias and pretty girls on scooters, and every 50 meters there was a basilica to visit and pray for God's direction in my life.

Final Pix

2011-05-18T13:52:00.003-04:00

Buffet Euro Style

2011-05-18T13:13:00.002-04:00

I thought I had the Euro Buffet down pat. Desserts, coffee and drinks are extra and not included in the price of the buffet. I was wrong. This buffet was 9 Euros each, so with the price of drinks and desserts I thought it would be about 45 Euro (app $65). But when the conto (check) came it was 85 Euros. It seems that it's 9 euro every time I grabbed a new plate. Now I'm not a big buffet stuffer, instead I like to go back up and try little things in small amounts (especially when I don't realize what anything is). So I used 4 plates, I could have fit it all on one plate and I think the last plate had a piece of cantaloupe and a cookie. So we totaled eight plates: I guess I don't know everything about Euro buffets after all, Ka-Ching.

On a lighter note I think I have a dental abscess. There isn't any pain just a feeling of pressure in my ear and a puffy gum. Now I know that when I get home it will take a week to get into my dentist (Mon-Thurs 9am till 4pm), so I decided to go to the pharmacy and see if I can get some kefzol or erythromycin. We go the Farmicia and with Ben translating and me pointing at my dentura abcesso the pharmacist hands me a box of Augmentin. After I point to the label and say no allergic I hand her 10 Euros (about the price of a plate at the buffet) and I'm done. No prescription, no twenty page side effect warning, HIPPA release or insurance paperwork. This is reason enough for me to move to Italy.

Last Days in Roma

2011-05-18T04:48:00.004-04:00

If Italian drivers were in the USA they would be shot; if USA drivers were in Italy they would be dead. Rome is like one big traffic circle. The cars, buses, scooters and motorcycles just flow together like red blood cells in a vein. There really isn't road rage, but more of an outpouring of emotions via the hand waving, horn blowing and yelling. There is no cussing or bird flipping--- it's more like a heated family argument on wheels. Scooters make up about 60% of the traffic and without them Rome would be gridlocked. Any space as wide as their handlebars they will squeeze through. When I'm on the bus it looks like they are actually going under the bus. Americans look like amateurs next to to these drivers.

There are no trucks in Rome. The biggest thing you see is a delivery van. I wonder how they get stuff into the city. Either they have tunnels or the trucks only make deliveries at night. There was an accident about a block before our bus stop. It caused our electro-bus to go a block in the lane without the overhead wires. Then we got back in the lane and everybody had to get off because the battery died before the antennas could reconnect with the overhead cables. The driver shoo's everybody off the bus and the mob has to find its way to the local bus that is stopping in some strange place. This really caused a lot of hand waving chatter. I think that's why these people are so happy: they get it all out.

The Romans also are a beautiful people. It's like you take the handsomest person in your high school and make them 90% of the population. Then you take the second best looking and that's the other 10%. You can tell the Americans, they are fat, ugly and wearing shorts and hats. Italians don't wear jeans, t-shirts, baseball hats, shorts or fanny packs. There are no beards, eyeglasses (except they all wear sunglasses) or dumb looks. They just look put together. Hopefully the plane will allow me seven hours to decompress and reacclimate to American Chic.

Ciao

ART FOR ARTS SAKE

2011-05-17T12:29:00.005-04:00

Students on a field trip to the Museo of Modern Art; bummer dude, our kids get to go to DOLLY WOOD. Nine A.M. at Ben's corner.

Quick call112.

A Roman hybrid. It's 80% scooter and 20% car; but hell it's still a BMW.

Beggar who has the franchise on Ben's Street.

Roma: The Saga Continues

2011-05-16T12:42:00.007-04:00

Home Interiors Party circa 79 A.D.

Roman Sewer aka M & D' s basement

It would probably get stuck in the wheel well of a Peterbuilt.

I'm with stupid.

The Spanish Steps; the guide book says you must see it. I think a thousand other people had the same book.

Pappa Pia; I know I thought he was Ernest Hemingway also.

You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a church like this one. So many relics, so little time.

Gun designed by DaVinci; I guess he was a bad shot.

Rome is one big Stair-Master

Roman custody battle.

Lake in Villa Borghese.

Terrapin, but no Seraphim

I think there are more Golden Arches, but I could be wrong.

Northern Gate 0f Roma.

Finally a Cappucino Carol's size.

March of the Babba's.

Museo of Modern Art Roma

I'll just make a space on the corner.

American Iron

Prayer Altar outside Ben's house. People stop and say a prayer in the mornings before they venture downtown.

This train isn't leaving until I'm on it.

2011-05-15T02:47:00.005-04:00

Reel Housewives of Rome

Caesar Flatus Maximus

I'm sure the condo association would love this statue in my front yard.

Pope's starter home; only 2,000 steps to the top.

Hermaphrodite (look carefully)

Single scull on the Tiber

The climate here is wonderful. It's warm but not humid, you don't notice yourself perspiring. I have taken up carrying a water bottle and filling it whenever I find "potable water". A bottle of water can cost anywhere from one to five Euros (a Euro is equal to about $1.25, thanks Obama). The Italians also take a different approach to security. They take a collectivist defensive stance against crime with gated doors and windows, steel shutters, electronic cameras, alarms on everything, chains and front doors that resemble bank vaults with their massive 16 locking bolts. I'm not sure what's better, maybe if all my stuff is gone when I get home I'll rethink things. The people here are really sweet. We met a woman on the train returning from Pompeii, she told us her daughter is going to medical school in Philadelphia. Actually she explained it to Ben, I just nodded my head and put on my Forrest Gump face.

My Last Day Of Pompeii.

2011-05-14T16:36:00.007-04:00

" Hey guys, I'm here for my audition"

Pompeii.Stock Exchange; it's in better shape than ours.

Today we went to Pompeii. We had to take a train down to Naples. Now when I was a child my parents would say "bafa Nabala". We weren't allowed to say "son of a gun", "go to hell" or "dang" and especially not "bafa Nabala." My Mom explained to me it was like "go to hell" but worse; now I know what she meant. Going from Rome to Naples is like a trip from the second world to the third world. It's like a Monet', it looks good far away , but when you get up close it's just a big old mess. Ben took this picture of us in front of Mt. Vesuvius. He said "Vesuvius was like our marriage, dormant put capable of erupting at any time."

This looks like Starbuck's first coffee grinder.

Pompeii dogs are on the dole.

The Pompeii audio tour predicts another eruption on 5/14/2011.

The train to Pompeii (aka Darjeeling Limited).

Train back to Rome, only 20 minutes late.
Altar in the forum at Pompeii.
McDonalds in Naples

First Class
Entering Pompeii

Roma Pix & Videos

2011-05-13T14:01:00.005-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p8h4ZdkLIE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9QJ3WXTcu0

Colosseo

2011-05-12T15:52:00.001-04:00

Carol is pointing to the deck that used to be the floor of the Colosseo. All that stuff underneath is where the Lions, Tigers and Bears were kept. By Carol's left ear is a ten foot cross that was placed on the spot where the Emperor sat. Pope John Paul II had the cross placed there, and every Good Friday His Holiness lead the College of Cardinals into the Colosseo to offer prayers for the Christian martyrs that died in the arena!

2011-05-12T15:12:00.000-04:00

The Hill Romulus where the Emperor lived .
The marble that covered all the walls of the palace.

This tree was on an island on a lake in front of the palace.

These two buildings were house for exotic birds.

Scavi means fresh dig.

The road that Ceaser returned on from his conquests.

Carol pointing out place for the new Feed & Seed sign.

It's 80 degrees and this person spends the day in a plastic bag to pose for pictures.

Videos of Rome

2011-05-12T12:44:00.000-04:00

This could be me in the Bronx 55 years ago playing stick-ball. Note their are no adults supervising.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9QJ3WXTcu0

NASCAR ROMA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p8h4ZdkLIE

Roma

2011-05-11T14:02:00.000-04:00

I always thought it was "boom-cicacica , boom-cicacica

Oh-boy I found the nutella!

You could never name an American car "Punto".

Politicians; the same worthless pieces of human debris all over the world.

Carol and her Latte Gelato.

Mary this is for you. Would you like Carol to put some cuttings in her purse?

NASCAR del la Roma

2011-05-11T14:01:00.007-04:00

The Agony of the Idiocy

2011-05-10T14:16:00.005-04:00

Hyper-Calvinism caught on canvas.

The muse of thesis.

You have to step down into this car.

You may think this bus is full but those thirty people outside are coming aboard.

The average Joe under Obama.

Anyone who ever took Art History knows this painting.

The Great Hall Of Maps. Too bad none of them had the bus lines in Rome.

"Real Housewives Of Troy"

We managed to get around today on the buses. However, we never road the same bus line twice. The worst job in the Sistine Chapel is the security guard trying to keep 400 tourists from talking and taking pictures. We went to the Papal Archives but the librarian wouldn't let Carol see Henry VIII's love letters to Anne Boleyn. I'm getting better at stepping out into speeding traffic. I'm starting to think Marianne may be a great driver after all; she's just in the wrong country. I just like to sit and watch the pretty girls on scooters zip by it's almost like a ballet. I also see granny and grandpas scooting through traffic who in America wouldn't be given a T.V. remote.

Ciao

Rome Wasn't Seen in a Day

2011-05-09T14:26:00.009-04:00

We must look like tourists, locals spontaneously ask to take our picture.

The waiters choice since I couldn't pronounce it.

Minestrone

Smart-Car for tight spaces

Me addressing the crowd in Saint Peter's.

Ananias and Saphira painting. It always helps to increase the tithes and offerings.

This is the arm of a skeleton holding an hour glass from the ground below a martyr.

Stained glass from above the main altar in the Basilica.

Saint Helena, the patron saint of my high school. The Brothers told us she was the patron saint of the deaf & dumb. But in our case it was just the dumb.

We missed the canonization of J2-P2 by a week. We missed out on being there with a half million Polacks. He was the the most influential person of my lifetime.

Saint Peter's Square & the Tiber River

I figured out that the big button was for poo and the little one for pee; too bad I was in the Ladies Room.

Pizza-Frita

Rome Metro Police, not to be confused with the Carabinieri which are the Armani models with sub-machine guns. The first one I saw I thought he was a statue.

Sky light in the Pantheon.

Finally, I saw someone of my own species!

I'm getting statue fatigue.

We walked about ten miles today. We were lost for about half those miles. We did have a map, but only about a tenth of the streets were marked on it. We may as well have been carrying a globe. But with the help of a compass we did manage to snake our way through alleys where cars managed to drive through and send you jumping into doorways. A French lady asked Carol about a bus stop and Carol told her to get off about a mile from her destination. We waited for an express bus at a non express bus stop and thought he just didn't like us when he drove by. A lady started talking to me on the bus and I used my favorite line on her, "non parlo italiano". Tomorrow we start our museum tour. We have a better map now.

I have to give it up for these Rome drivers. I feel much safer stepping out in front of thirty screaming motorcycles, scooters and Smart-Cars than I ever did in Asheville.

Rome On A Thousand Calories A Day.

2011-05-08T13:00:00.004-04:00

U.S. Air came through again. It seems the previous night's flight to Rome was cancelled so they had about 800 people waiting at the gate to get on the Airbus 300 wide body. It was like the evacuation of Libya. Seven hours with knees in chest and 18 inches across the arm rests. Maybe this was a skinny Euro-Model, because the seat belt only had about three inches to spare and I usually have a lot more than that left over. We had an eight month old baby in front of us, but she was an angel. I wish we had a few more babies around us instead of the guy behind us who kept talking to his family over the seat next to us and the other guy on my right who sounded like he had consumption.

After nine hours of this high altitude hell, we landed in sunny Roma. The Rome airport is about the size of the Charlotte Airport we left out of but had the ambience of the Port Authority Bus Terminal on 8th Ave and 42nd Street in Manhattan. There was no Customs Inspection and the agent stamped my passport and sailed it back at me and I was in Italy. Ben picked us up in his Mini One and then it was off to the Formula One races which means we were on the highway. There were motorcycles going 40 km/hr in the right lane, puny cars going 80 km/hr and nice cars going 130 km/hr in the left lane. While all the time the horns are blowing and everyone weaves through traffic like salmon swimming upstream. All the while the Tom-Tom is calling out directions in Italian.

Tomorrow, we are off to the Vatican to see the Holy Father. My Italian is pretty rough. I sound like a mixture of the "Kings Speech" and Farsi. I hate not being able to communicate; I'm really a "people person." I'm enjoying all the different cars I'm seeing fly by me. There is a million motorcycles and scooters whizzing about .

The other observation I've made is that obese people are as rare as parking spaces.

I Came I Saw I'm Tired

2011-05-08T12:18:00.006-04:00

You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Basilica

The Embassy in Rome where Ben works.

Carol relaxing at the villa.

What weighs more the car or Babba?

This must be someplace special.

When in Rome, go to an Irish Pub.

How is their Chinese Food?
Rome is for lovers.
The city bus goes up driveways.
The Roman Bus schedule, like the Metro on crack.

SpringFest Brevard N.C.

2011-04-30T19:26:00.003-04:00

We went to see "Do It To Julia" at Brevard College SpringFest. The fiddler player used to be one of Ben's old contra-dancing partners. As usual Babba, the man for all seasons, was at home with the co-eds. I haven't been to a good college event since the Gender-Rally at Notre Dame six years ago.

The Lord provided a small tree so CP could have some shade.

However, a student provided a lawn dart!

Kill Bo Vol. 1

2011-04-28T19:39:00.003-04:00

Bo has kept us up for the last two nights. He just starts whining in the middle of the night. It's not that loud, but it's just loud enough to wake us up. We get up and let him out of his crate and he runs to every room in the house and then stands at the back door. Normally I would think he just had to poop. However, even after he's gone out he still starts squealing when we put him back in his crate. Now at midnight here I am trying to figure out what's going on with him.
I'm thinking of the possibilities:
There is a critter outside
There is a critter inside
We have a burglar
He's afraid of the thunder storms
He senses a tornado
We have an evil spirit in the house

Well, the tornadoes are gone and if he pulls this crap tonight he's sleeping in the garage; if I wanted a baby I'd adopt one.

Go Bare-Ass

2011-04-21T07:14:00.005-04:00

I'm really sick and tired of hearing "American's don't
want to cut entitlements." I don't care what you want America, we are broke. What part of broke don't you understand? In fact we are worse than broke, we are in hock up to our eyeballs. Who are we in hock to? We owe our soul to the devil, the Red Chinese.

America doesn't want to; it sure sounds like whining to me. It's the toddler that doesn't want to go to Children's Church, The teenager that doesn't want to go to grandma's, the pre-schooler that doesn't want to wear a hat in winter. We don't need a bunch of Founding Fathers to come back from the grave and tell us what to do. The word want should not even be part of the conversation. The fact that it's still used shows our understanding of the situation isn't based in reality. It's time for Dad to call the family around the kitchen table and tell everyone the truth. The trouble is, America doesn't have a real Dad, it has a Step-dad that doesn't give a rats rear end about its future.

My Polish Aunt had the right idea. When my cousin didn't want to wear the one pair of clean pants he had to church my Aunt told him "you don't want to wear those pants to church, then go bare-ass." It's time for America to either wear the pants we have or go bare-ass!"

Sixty-four Hours Of House Arrest

2011-04-17T09:36:00.011-04:00

Messianic Christians, I don't get it. Is it like the Judaizers revisited? Can't we leave the poor Jews alone? I think it's part of our modern societal group neurosis to attempt to glom onto some other ethnic group. Maybe they want to be more Jewish than Jesus. Where will it end? What's next, Messianic Cowboys, Messianic Episcopalians, Messianic Pipe-Fitters? If you want to live the Law, dance in circles and light candles go ahead; but don't call yourself Jewish. You haven't paid your dues, and you're not smart enough.

Gas is getting close to $4.00/gal, Go-Bama!
Luckily for me I'm not driving to Italy. I never would have thought my Honda Element would hold $48.00 worth of petrol.
My Oldsmobile's Blue Book value changes when I fill up.

In Mexico they are rioting because the price of gas hit $2.80/gal. Maybe if our price goes up to $5.00 gallon' the ones up here will drive back down to join the protest.

Some poor schmo plugged his Chevy Volt in and went to bed only to awaken to his house on fire. Maybe they should rename it the Mr. Coffee. At least they were saved by smoke alarms. There are fifty homeowners in Canada that weren't so lucky; they were electrocuted by their solar panels

What's up with the F.A.A., are they hiring narcoleptics? For $40/hr with full benefits I know a bunch people that can stay awake. If a truck driver falls asleep he's fired. If he's lucky and only kills himself, he might avoid doing hard-time. The government answer to the problem is to hire them an assistant. Look for the Air-Traffic Controllers Assistant program at your local Community College. Can't we just hire an illegal alien with a hat pin to stick the Pickwickian controller in the bum to wake him up? How about this, "You Fall Asleep You're Fired."

Calling All CB's

2011-04-13T17:55:00.004-04:00

Wal-Mart has an on-line coupon for lens cleaner and lens cloth. It's free! What's even better you get a free refill whenever you run out. Now I have three bottles that I originally got in 1989 with purchases of glasses. Now for 23 years I have been using this stuff for my glasses, TV screens, computers, fish tanks, mirrors, etc. Of course my bottles have the old Wal-Mart yellow and blue color scheme which causes the counter-help to say "man this is an old bottle." However, I still get my glasses at Wally's and with the 1,000% mark up on frames I'm not feeling too guilty. I insist on having clean eyeglasses, I see too many seniors with glasses that look like muddy windshields.

Fourth Time Is Not The Charm

2011-04-12T10:00:00.007-04:00

Well, I picked up the Olds yesterday, drove
it out and after a half mile I realized the A/C still is blowing hot air. They replaced the compressor but now the drier (which is always replaced with the compressor) is leaking.

But I'm not discouraged, because the A/C expert is off tomorrow and the young fella that's going to work on it told me "I don't know much about air conditioning." So there is a chance it will be fixed right. After 30 days I can just leave it there as salvage under the "law of the sea." Right now I'm thinking of installing venetian blinds, a block of ice and a fan!

A Night At The Opera

2011-04-10T18:29:00.005-04:00

Just one more week of Carol in Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's Music of the Night concert. Carol and I were discussing the high ticket price of $40 as we sat down in Sunday School. We kept talking after we sat down. I guess I was talking with my usual loud voice (voice modulation disorder). After Carol gets up for coffee the young lady sitting next to me asks me what show we were talking about. I tell her and explain we were discussing how the high ticket price was beyond the budget of young families.

Well guess what? This young lady is an administrative assistant for the Asheville Lyric Opera. It was like two sisters separated at birth found each other after forty years. The good news is the opera doesn't perform thirty performances over three weeks. Now Carol has an IN with the Asheville Opera; as if she ever has trouble getting a lead. I had the right to remain silent; but not the ability.

I Need To Blend

2011-04-09T19:55:00.011-04:00

I need to get ready for my trip to Rome. It seems my
wardrobe is deficient in scarfs, white pants, and double breasted suits with pocket squares. In fact my wardrobe currently consists of three pairs of Levi's
jeans and four L.L. Bean canvas shirts. I have church jeans, work jeans and dirty work jeans. I do have a dress suit that's on standby for my funeral. I'll have to get a fashion consult before I depart.

Now this is more my kind of fashion. I think I could pick this outfit up at an estate sale in Flat Rock. I think the vest needs to be let out a bit. I really like the three quarter sleeves and the skinny guinea tie.

This look would be a natural for me. I just need some size 40 Docker's , Dr Scholl's velcro walkers, and a breezy cotton shirt. This guy looks just like my grandfather.

These are pictures of Atri, Italy. It's on the Adriatic Sea just straight across the boot from Rome. It's where my ancestors emigrated from in 1918. It's a retirement area and sort of a dump. However, it looks like a great place to me. I hear they are getting a Wal-Mart.

Drinking With Bob

2011-04-07T18:58:00.003-04:00

I find that by listening to "Drinking With Bob" I'm able to decrease my Klonopin dose by half. I think I may start my own website "Drinking With Babba". I'm not sure I have enough energy to do the Bob thing; it's easier to just kick the dog.

Mr, Bad Wrench

2011-04-06T17:09:00.004-04:00

The A/C in my Olds still doesn't work. It seems like the rebuilt compressor they put in wasn't rebuilt too well. This is now my fourth trip in for this little problem.

I'm doing remarkably well with this. I'm also learning a lot about auto air-conditioning from all the trade magazines in the waiting room.

You know it's bad when you hear the mechanic say "shit" when the office gal tells him "the Olds is back." I feel bad because I know that any profit they made will be eaten up by labor costs and the price of R-32 refrigerant. I had this trouble with rebuilt water pumps from Checker Auto Parts; sure, they're guaranteed, but after the third lemon you get tired of changing it.

I'm praying that the next compressor will be the charm. I can't stand going back to the garage where my car is regarded as a "turd that won't flush."

I want my mechanic to be happy; the same way I am when I see a 500 lb. patient.

"Now It's Garbage"

2011-04-02T11:55:00.006-04:00

Before I opened my new Mr.Coffee $18 coffee maker I had to make absolutely sure the old one was morta so I did an autopsy. I turned it over and ignored the "Do Not Open-No Serviceable Parts" label and looked at what I need to crack it open. Of course the fun-sucking lawyers make sure it is put together with special screw heads that resemble a swastika. However, I'm not deterred and I manage to open the bottom. I fill it with water and look underneath and see the problem, a leaking connecting hose between the heating element and the hose to the drip chamber.

Now I'm getting excited, I'm seeing endless CB possibilities. I take the short piece of hose to the auto parts store in hope of buying a 35-cent piece of hose to slip in there. I was hoping to see the big self-service stand with about a dozen different reels of hose, but instead I have to go to the counter and talk with the guy. I'm sure the counter-help is saying to himself "why doesn't this CB just go out and buy a ten dollar Mr. Coffee." I was just looking for a piece of heater bypass hose or fuel line hose. The fella says "I have fuel line hose but I'm not sure you want to run your coffee through that." To this I reply "You've never tasted my wife's coffee." I'm sensing this guy really isn't too keen on helping Rube Goldberg solve this dilemma; maybe he's sensing liability issues. Then he points out to me that this little piece of tubing is tapered , and the ends are not the same size. Oh rats, this is getting complicated. The nearest real hardware store is in the next town and the price of Obama gas may be more than a Mr. Coffee. I know that Lowe's will never have what I want and if they do I'll have to find it myself and then buy ten feet of it.

I'm not totally discouraged, though. I have two options, one is cannibalize the part I need from another appliance or check in my garage. I take the whole unit apart and there isn't one spare mm of hose to use. Then I go out to the shed and look over the array of crap I have brought home from work. I find a piece of tubing from a laprascopic irrigator that may work. I'm thinking "if it can handle bile it should make a great cup of coffee." Unfortunately, no matter how much I try I can't make the hose fit. However, I'm glad I found the problem. In this throw-away-society I can't just order the part that I need. I'm just a man "out of time."

My $18 Mr. Coffee coffee tastes pretty darn good. I can't tell the difference between it and the $90 Black and Decker programmable, microprocessored, cone-filtered, carafe model. I'm putting those three boxes of non-bleached fair-trade cone filters on E-Bay. I'll sell them as disposable yamakas.

Nice Bunn's

2011-04-01T07:02:00.005-04:00

Can anyone make a coffee maker that lasts more than 18 months and costs less than
$250? We had a Black & Decker Carafe coffee maker that lasted 15 years. After that we have had a parade of coffee makers. Krupp, Cuisinart (cuss-in-at), B&D, G.E. etc.

Now Bunn makes an non-commercial coffee maker for about $150. The problem with it is that it keeps a quart of water heated to 200'F 24 hour a day. Now I'm not a greenie, but it seems like a waste to have a miniature water heater on your counter all day for that morning coffee and evening decaf.

Shopping for a coffee maker will drive you nuts. You read the reviews and they are split between one and five stars. It's the best coffee ever versus the biggest POS ever made. I'm not asking for much in this age of 5G networks, I just want a coffee maker that will last five years. One that doesn't clog up, leak, turn itself off and on or growl like a dog.

Tomorrow I'm going to Wally's and buying an eighteen dollar Mr. Coffee. This way in a year when I turn it on and it goes POP I can just toss it and get another one. Plus, I won't be stuck with 400 fancy #4 cone filters.

Atlas Shrugged Coming To The Theater Just In Time

2011-03-29T18:54:00.009-04:00

April 15th Atlas Shrugged comes to the theater. Besides the Bible it is the most read book in the world. I read it forty years ago and was blown away. Ayn Rand, a Russian Jew, wrote it in 1957. The danger of collectivism seemed far away back in the 70's, but today today it seems prophetic. I tried to read it again, but at 1,200 pages it's a chore. I used to read big books like The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and Clan of the Cave Bear etc. without problem. I have lost my patience with wordy books, however within Ayn Rands's 1,200 page novel you will find excerpts like the speech below that make all those pages worth it.

"So you think that money is the root of all evil?" said Francisco d'Anconia. "Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can't exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

"When you accept money in payment for your effort, you do so only on the conviction that you will exchange it for the product of the effort of others. It is not the moochers or the looters who give value to money. Not an ocean of tears not all the guns in the world can transform those pieces of paper in your wallet into the bread you will need to survive tomorrow. Those pieces of paper, which should have been gold, are a token of honor--your claim upon the energy of the men who produce. Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money, Is this what you consider evil?

"Have you ever looked for the root of production? Take a look at an electric generator and dare tell yourself that it was created by the muscular effort of unthinking brutes. Try to grow a seed of wheat without the knowledge left to you by men who had to discover it for the first time. Try to obtain your food by means of nothing but physical motions--and you'll learn that man's mind is the root of all the goods produced and of all the wealth that has ever existed on earth.

"But you say that money is made by the strong at the expense of the weak? What strength do you mean? It is not the strength of guns or muscles. Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think. Then is money made by the man who invents a motor at the expense of those who did not invent it? Is money made by the intelligent at the expense of the fools? By the able at the expense of the incompetent? By the ambitious at the expense of the lazy? Money is made--before it can be looted or mooched--made by the effort of every honest man, each to the extent of his ability. An honest man is one who knows that he can't consume more than he has produced.'

"To trade by means of money is the code of the men of good will. Money rests on the axiom that every man is the owner of his mind and his effort. Money allows no power to prescribe the value of your effort except the voluntary choice of the man who is willing to trade you his effort in return. Money permits you to obtain for your goods and your labor that which they are worth to the men who buy them, but no more. Money permits no deals except those to mutual benefit by the unforced judgment of the traders. Money demands of you the recognition that men must work for their own benefit, not for their own injury, for their gain, not their loss--the recognition that they are not beasts of burden, born to carry the weight of your misery--that you must offer them values, not wounds--that the common bond among men is not the exchange of suffering, but the exchange of goods. Money demands that you sell, not your weakness to men's stupidity, but your talent to their reason; it demands that you buy, not the shoddiest they offer, but the best that your money can find. And when men live by trade--with reason, not force, as their final arbiter--it is the best product that wins, the best performance, the man of best judgment and highest ability--and the degree of a man's productiveness is the degree of his reward. This is the code of existence whose tool and symbol is money. Is this what you consider evil?

"But money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires. Money is the scourge of the men who attempt to reverse the law of causality--the men who seek to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind.

"Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants: money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek. Money will not buy intelligence for the fool, or admiration for the coward, or respect for the incompetent. The man who attempts to purchase the brains of his superiors to serve him, with his money replacing his judgment, ends up by becoming the victim of his inferiors. The men of intelligence desert him, but the cheats and the frauds come flocking to him, drawn by a law which he has not discovered: that no man may be smaller than his money. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

"Only the man who does not need it, is fit to inherit wealth--the man who would make his own fortune no matter where he started. If an heir is equal to his money, it serves him; if not, it destroys him. But you look on and you cry that money corrupted him. Did it? Or did he corrupt his money? Do not envy a worthless heir; his wealth is not yours and you would have done no better with it. Do not think that it should have been distributed among you; loading the world with fifty parasites instead of one, would not bring back the dead virtue which was the fortune. Money is a living power that dies without its root. Money will not serve the mind that cannot match it. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

"Money is your means of survival. The verdict you pronounce upon the source of your livelihood is the verdict you pronounce upon your life. If the source is corrupt, you have damned your own existence. Did you get your money by fraud? By pandering to men's vices or men's stupidity? By catering to fools, in the hope of getting more than your ability deserves? By lowering your standards? By doing work you despise for purchasers you scorn? If so, then your money will not give you a moment's or a penny's worth of joy. Then all the things you buy will become, not a tribute to you, but a reproach; not an achievement, but a reminder of shame. Then you'll scream that money is evil. Evil, because it would not pinch-hit for your self-respect? Evil, because it would not let you enjoy your depravity? Is this the root of your hatred of money?

"Money will always remain an effect and refuse to replace you as the cause. Money is the product of virtue, but it will not give you virtue and it will not redeem your vices. Money will not give you the unearned, neither in matter nor in spirit. Is this the root of your hatred of money?

"Or did you say it's the love of money that's the root of all evil? To love a thing is to know and love its nature. To love money is to know and love the fact that money is the creation of the best power within you, and your passkey to trade your effort for the effort of the best among men. It's the person who would sell his soul for a nickel, who is loudest in proclaiming his hatred of money--and he has good reason to hate it. The lovers of money are willing to work for it. They know they are able to deserve it.

"Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it.

"Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another--their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun.

"But money demands of you the highest virtues, if you wish to make it or to keep it. Men who have no courage, pride or self-esteem, men who have no moral sense of their right to their money and are not willing to defend it as they defend their life, men who apologize for being rich--will not remain rich for long. They are the natural bait for the swarms of looters that stay under rocks for centuries, but come crawling out at the first smell of a man who begs to be forgiven for the guilt of owning wealth. They will hasten to relieve him of the guilt--and of his life, as he deserves.

"Then you will see the rise of the men of the double standard--the men who live by force, yet count on those who live by trade to create the value of their looted money--the men who are the hitchhikers of virtue. In a moral society, these are the criminals, and the statutes are written to protect you against them. But when a society establishes criminals-by-right and looters-by-law--men who use force to seize the wealth of disarmed victims--then money becomes its creators' avenger. Such looters believe it safe to rob defenseless men, once they've passed a law to disarm them. But their loot becomes the magnet for other looters, who get it from them as they got it. Then the race goes, not to the ablest at production, but to those most ruthless at brutality. When force is the standard, the murderer wins over the pickpocket. And then that society vanishes, in a spread of ruins and slaughter.

"Do you wish to know whether that day is coming? Watch money. Money is the barometer of a society's virtue. When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion--when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing--when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors--when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you--when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice--you may know that your society is doomed. Money is so noble a medium that is does not compete with guns and it does not make terms with brutality. It will not permit a country to survive as half-property, half-loot.

"Whenever destroyers appear among men, they start by destroying money, for money is men's protection and the base of a moral existence. Destroyers seize gold and leave to its owners a counterfeit pile of paper. This kills all objective standards and delivers men into the arbitrary power of an arbitrary setter of values. Gold was an objective value, an equivalent of wealth produced. Paper is a mortgage on wealth that does not exist, backed by a gun aimed at those who are expected to produce it. Paper is a check drawn by legal looters upon an account which is not theirs: upon the virtue of the victims. Watch for the day when it bounces, marked, 'Account overdrawn.'

"When you have made evil the means of survival, do not expect men to remain good. Do not expect them to stay moral and lose their lives for the purpose of becoming the fodder of the immoral. Do not expect them to produce, when production is punished and looting rewarded. Do not ask, 'Who is destroying the world? You are.

"You stand in the midst of the greatest achievements of the greatest productive civilization and you wonder why it's crumbling around you, while you're damning its life-blood--money. You look upon money as the savages did before you, and you wonder why the jungle is creeping back to the edge of your cities. Throughout men's history, money was always seized by looters of one brand or another, whose names changed, but whose method remained the same: to seize wealth by force and to keep the producers bound, demeaned, defamed, deprived of honor. That phrase about the evil of money, which you mouth with such righteous recklessness, comes from a time when wealth was produced by the labor of slaves--slaves who repeated the motions once discovered by somebody's mind and left unimproved for centuries. So long as production was ruled by force, and wealth was obtained by conquest, there was little to conquer, Yet through all the centuries of stagnation and starvation, men exalted the looters, as aristocrats of the sword, as aristocrats of birth, as aristocrats of the bureau, and despised the producers, as slaves, as traders, as shopkeepers--as industrialists.

"To the glory of mankind, there was, for the first and only time in history, a country of money--and I have no higher, more reverent tribute to pay to America, for this means: a country of reason, justice, freedom, production, achievement. For the first time, man's mind and money were set free, and there were no fortunes-by-conquest, but only fortunes-by-work, and instead of swordsmen and slaves, there appeared the real maker of wealth, the greatest worker, the highest type of human being--the self-made man--the American industrialist.

"If you ask me to name the proudest distinction of Americans, I would choose--because it contains all the others--the fact that they were the people who created the phrase 'to make money.' No other language or nation had ever used these words before; men had always thought of wealth as a static quantity--to be seized, begged, inherited, shared, looted or obtained as a favor. Americans were the first to understand that wealth has to be created. The words 'to make money' hold the essence of human morality.

"Yet these were the words for which Americans were denounced by the rotted cultures of the looters' continents. Now the looters' credo has brought you to regard your proudest achievements as a hallmark of shame, your prosperity as guilt, your greatest men, the industrialists, as blackguards, and your magnificent factories as the product and property of muscular labor, the labor of whip-driven slaves, like the pyramids of Egypt. The rotter who simpers that he sees no difference between the power of the dollar and the power of the whip, ought to learn the difference on his own hide-- as, I think, he will.

"Until and unless you discover that money is the root of all good, you ask for your own destruction. When money ceases to be the tool by which men deal with one another, then men become the tools of men. Blood, whips and guns--or dollars. Take your choice--there is no other--and your time is running out."

Students Keep Me Young

2011-03-25T18:00:00.006-04:00

HYPER-SYRINGE-EDEMIA

Students really keep me young. They are so intense. They try to set up for the whole day's cases before 7 am. It's my mission to purge them of all the academic mumbo-jumbo they are taught at the University. Hopefully when they graduate they will be more competent than the public employees that make the daily news.

Air-Traffic Controllers asleep in the tower.
Miniature Train derails one hour after being inspected; one child dead, a dozen injured.
TSA workers allow box-cutters on a plane
Security Guard at a Federal Building finds a briefcase outside and brings it into the building; ten days later they discover it contains a bomb.

I always tell my students "We don't want to be on the six o'clock news tonight, DO WE!"

I Need Help, I'm In An Abusive Relationship

2011-03-25T17:18:00.007-04:00

Down deep in my heart I knew the A/C in my 93 Olds wasn't going to be fixed by changing to Earth Day Freon. The freon leaked out in about two days. So I need a compressor. That's $440, ouch! I can't drive in the Spring heat of 75 degrees, let alone in in the Summer when it's 90 degrees and 80% humidity. This is it for the Olds; it's 18 years old and has 164 K miles on it. It's worth $1000 retail at best. When the fall comes I'm going to sell it or give it away. I had a good run with it, especially the first 140 K miles. By the way, that 1998 Cadillac of my neighbor's sold for only $2,5oo, that's half of Blue Book. I'm kicking myself but then again I couldn't have offered her less than $4,000 and looked her in the eye again.

I'm really going to sell it in the fall; that's a vow.

My Olds Is OK; It's Me That's Nuts

2011-03-23T17:20:00.005-04:00

My Oldsmobile is OK. I just forgot that I gassed it up two weeks ago and didn't drive it for ten days. I noticed the gauge did seem to be a mm below the full so I gassed it and it took all of 3.5 gal. Now the gas gauge needle is about 3 mm above the full mark. Now I was all set to do the odometer thing, but the A/C problem still had me wondering whether I should get the nativity scene and chi-chi balls and sell it. Today I got the A/C fixed for $140. They had to convert it to Al-Gore-Freon and fill it. It won't be as cold as it used to be with Freon-12 but hopefully it won't leak out before next November. I just have to schmooze that leaky muffler through one more inspection (the mechanic has been looking at it for the last four years and shaking his head).

That little blue beauty above is Ben's Mini-Cooper Romano-Edition. In two years he will bring it back to the U.S. and maybe give it to me. I hope it survives the Rome traffic, which I hear is like a video game. You see if you live long enough, your children eventually give you stuff.

A Miracle

2011-03-22T19:08:00.005-04:00

Now that gas is about $3.50/gal my Oldsmobile has solved my problems. My gas gauge has been on full for three weeks. It's like a miracle from Peter Popoff , the widows oil that never ran out. I wish it was, but it's probably a short to ground since the needle stays pegged on full. So I guess I can keep going and just use the 1960 VW gas gauge; just keep tract of the mileage on the trip odometer .

What's worse is that the temperature is getting into the high seventies and I already miss the A/C which was the Oldsmobile's best feature. I can't believe how hot it is in this car without A/C. I even use a sun-shade when I park it and it still is like a dutch oven. That along with the need for a muffler makes me think it's time to sell this money pit.

FOR SALE CHEAP

SE HABLA ESPANOL

A Smart and Witty Polemic

2011-03-18T17:38:00.005-04:00

After reading the Millennium Trilogy and giving up on the apocalyptic "EMP bomb hits Mayberry" novel I'm now reading a "smart and witty polemic". It's about how snarkiness is replacing wit and satire in the internet age. I'm trying to grasp his argument, but it sometimes eludes me like music and foreign languages. I'm sure my literary daughter and son-in-law would understand it perfectly (like the way I understand the autonomic nervous system).

I'm about 40 pages into this 120 page essay so there is hope. I'm thinking snark is sort of like the cheap shot. The lazy person's attempt at humor combined with an element of sadism.

I'm thinking it relates more to shame where a person's value is demeaned, not just their speech and behavior. Whatever it exactly is, it flourishes in the internet wasteland of Facebook and Twitter. I'll try to get through the next eighty pages, but perhaps it would be easier to mail it to Marianne and David and have them tell me what point the author is making. It all started with Lewis Carroll's "The Hunting Of The Snark."

Stay-cation 2.1

2011-03-16T17:25:00.006-04:00

I can't believe what I heard on the radio today. Volvo's heavy equipment headquarters is moving out of Asheville. Now Volvo has been pulling out of Asheville for the last five years in installments, sort of like Kodak leaving that socialist hell-hole called Rochester. Volvo is moving the rest of its operation to Pennsylvania. How bad does it have to be in western N.C. for a company to move to PA? There will be a loss of about 230 jobs. The kicker is that the director of economic development said, "on the brighter side there is a large facility available now for another business". That person should be fired just for saying something that stupid. Then there would be another office available for another bureaucrat to move into. This reminds me of Obama telling a crowd there is no inflation because the price of the i-pad has gone down. Someone in the crowd yelled out " I can't eat an i-pad."

Well I survived my root-canal. I guess it was a challenging one. I really did have some dental PID (pus-in-dare). I was in the chair for for an hour and forty five minutes. I probably slept for an hour of it (I always fall asleep at the dentist). I figure it cost me about $24 per minute. I must be slipping, I only charge $4 per minute. So far I only have lost one tooth. I stopped getting my teeth cleaned because I always get the chubby hygienist.

On Easter Babba is making his musical debut. I am to accompany Carol the violin virtuoso with my Irish Bodhran. It will be a duel of who can play the softest. I look at it this way, it's just another instrument to fail at.

Just four more days of stay-cation. I can do it, although CP has started taking Lyrica.

Stay-cation

2011-03-14T20:59:00.004-04:00

I'm on a forced vacation. It's use it or lose it. Since March isn't a big vacation month I'm just going to stay home and take care of business. Today I renewed my driver's license. I usually move before I have to do this. It's not due for a few months ,but they sent me a reminder card. This being N.C. where everything is a royal pain, I thought I better get this done while I have a full day to commit to the DMV. I called to make sure I didn't need my Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, Proof of Insurance, Passport, Credit Report, Proof of Vaccination, Background Check and latest Colonoscopy report and T.B. Test. I was surprised to find out all I needed was my present license and cash.

They did tell me to try to come in early because it tended to get crowded after ten AM. So I set off with a granola bar and a book; I figured I was in for a siege. When I arrived here six years ago and went to get my license the place was packed with more Mexicans than Home Depot. I thought I was at INS instead of the DMV. So I arrived ready for the usual bureaucratic inertia and was surprised to find three people ahead of me. It took less than ten minutes. I recognized the signs and could read the second line without my glasses so the state has granted me the privilege of driving for eight more years.

I happened to bring with me that book (One Second After) my coworker lent me about terrorists setting off an electro-magnetic-pulse bomb (EMP) in Black Mountain, N.C. The EMP bomb knocks out all computers and electronics in the south east. In effect, anything that uses a computer, including cars, cell phones, power plants, etc are toast. I didn't want the examiner to think I was one of those foil-hat wearing survivalists, so I turned it over on the desk. Now a book about Armageddon written by a local college professor that takes place in our area does get attention. The examiner tells me to sit in the chair for my new license photo, then he says "I'm going to take your picture, unless an electro-magnetic-pulse knocks out my camera." Imagine that, a state employee with a sense of humor; I shouldn't be such a stranger to the DMV.

Tomorrow, day two of my stay-cation, I'm getting a root-canal; WHOOPEE!

Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper

2011-03-06T08:09:00.001-05:00

Can someone hand this baby the Health Care Reform Bill. In a week he could shred all 2,700 pages.

Anaesthetists Hymn

2011-03-05T19:53:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting home on a rainy weekend with a couple of books I don't feel like reading. I went on line looking for a logo for my new company. It didn't take long to find one. I also found this video that described my job prior to before Fun-Suckers in Washington took over.

"And She's Buying A Stairway To Heaven"

2011-02-27T08:13:00.012-05:00

I'm reading the book "One Second After". It was given to me by a survivalist co-worker. It's about a small NC town that loses all computer capability when terrorists set off some "electro-magnetic pulse" bomb. I've read about 50 pages so far and the clunky dialogue makes me suspect it might be a Christian novel . I hope it's not some fantasy like Tim LaHaye's "No Christian Left Behind" series. I'll give it a hundred pages. Just because I recognize the area where the story takes place isn't a reason to read something that's not written well. If the people in our area lost the ability to text it would reduce us to savages, let alone losing our lap-tops, TVs, cars, and thermostats. I saw what happened when Hurricane Katrina cut off our gasoline for 2 weeks; if it lasted another few days they would have declared martial law.

On a lighter note, I was watching one of the "blab-it-and-grab-it" preachers on TCT network. This is one of the half dozen "sow-a-seed" networks that preach a gospel of mumbo-jumbo that would make a pre-renaissance indulgence selling Catholic Bishop cringe. On the set they had an 8 foot plastic step ladder that was supposed to represent "Jacob's Ladder". The hosts were taking the seed pledges that were called in and crinkling them up and tossing them at the leader. This was suppose to give the impression of "angels ascending and descending to the throne of God". I'm watching this and I can feel the blood pulsing through my left eye. Don't these hucksters realize that this modern ladder has a warning sticker on it saying "Don't Stand On The Top Step?" I really should delete these six channels, but every time I think nobody could be dumber than the politicians in Washington, I flip to the Elmer Gantry channels. If you listen closely to what these fellas are saying you realize they aren't saying a thing. The message is the same "give your soul to Jesus, and give your money to me" or "give your soul to government and give your money to me".

I need to finish this post now, I feel an "electro-magnetic-pulse" coming!

Gag Me

2011-02-20T13:14:00.005-05:00

About once a month I swoop down on Sam's Club and make a surgical strike to get dozen or so household staples. This time I mistakenly picked up April Fresh Downy. I didn't notice the fine print and the floral bouquet on the label. However, I did notice that my towels smelled like a baby's butt wrapped in lilac. So I returned it to Sam's a month later and got "clean breeze", which seemed to be the least offensive. Wrong, a week later my quilt still smells like a box of dryer sheets. The fabric softener aisle resembles a display for Yankee Candles; spiced apple, vanilla, pumpkin spice, almond creme, lavender serenity etc.

So it's off to Sam's next week to return a second jug of scented Downy. Now I discovered that Downey makes a softener without dyes or scents. It's called Downy Free and Sensitive and it's sold at Wal-Mart. Yep, those two words describe Babba perfectly: Free & Sensitive.

Day Of Rage In Asheville

2011-02-19T06:01:00.005-05:00

Now that the nation realizes that Obama is an empty suit and that the government can't create anything of value the masses are declaring Islamic Rage Days. Rage is such a great metaphor. It's like like being pissed off on steroids. It's what happens when people put their trust in the smartest guys in the room.

The country is broke, the states are broke, the cities broke. All these people marching in Wisconsin don't get it. They killed the golden goose with greed. They thought working twenty years then retiring at forty with 80% of your salary with full health benefits was based in reality. This is the mentality that reduced GM into a retirement community and an HMO with a small subsidiary that makes mediocre cars.

It's time to admit that "this dog won't hunt".
At best Obama is a malevolent buffoon; at worst he is an evil genius attempting to reduce our country to a third world banana republic. The barbarians are inside the gates. The fact that we are broke is the stubborn truth won't go away. Wealth is created by by working people going out every day and busting their hump for ten hours. Wealth isn't created by bureaucracy, and prosperity won't flow from. the mouth of the Potomac.

I'm going to enjoy my day of rage southern style, with sunshine, good music and friends. Let the government employees rage Arab style, They are just further alienating the golden goose, the taxpayers.

Just A Couple Of Weeks To Go

2011-02-09T14:45:00.013-05:00

Ben Is Going To Rome!

Just Say No

2011-02-05T20:40:00.005-05:00

Temptation takes many forms. Just as King David was walking on his roof when he spied Bathsheba, I was reading in my yard when a neighbor came over and propositioned me. It seems her boyfriend had died and she was wanting to sell his 2000 Cadillac DeVille. Since I was a great admirer of her 1998 Lincoln Town Car she assumed I had a soft spot for ten year old Detroit steel. Now these North Carolina senior citizens cruisers are well kept. They are garage stored and are driven to church, grocery stores, restaurants and the Blue Ridge Parkway. After having a 93 Olds Cutlass Supreme this would be a step up. Also, the Olds needs a muffler and the A/C is broken. There isn't enough deodorant for me to drive that car without air conditioning this summer: I'll turn into a human corn-dog. So the A/C may be the terminal event for the Olds unless it's a cheap fix.

This car has the last great engine to come out of Detroit. That Northstar V-8 puts out 300 h.p. That's twice as much as the V-6 in the Cutlass. I can just imagine CP and I rolling down I-40 in this flying couch.

I summoned all my strength and told my neighbor it didn't make sense with the price of gas going to $5/gal. I said this while inwardly I was lusting after luxury.

In college my roommates discussed what the point of no return was while on a date. To our chagrin one of the guys said his point of no return was when he "picked up the phone". I'm sitting here wanting to call my neighbor up and ask her what the price and the mileage are on the Caddy. After all, like real estate in a retirement area death can be a major factor in used car sales. I have gotten a 73 Olds Delta 88, a 95 Olds 88 and my present 93 Olds Cutlass from dying patients. I knew a nurse in Hospice and referred to it as Hospice-Motors.

I'm curious as to the mileage on the Cadillac. Maybe I'll just call up my neighbor... get behind me Satan!