Bo Has A Past !

After waiting four months to get an appointment at Dreamboat Dog Coiffures in Hooterville, I finally got Bo in today. Now he has been looking a bit shabby. He kind of was taking on the appearance of a four legged wookiee. So I took him to Dreamboat. According to his breeder they are the only ones who know how to cut a Welsh Terrier. I walk in and they all seemed to remember Bo-Hickett. It seems during his first haircut at 4 months old he bit the stylist. I told them that I didn't have any problems with him when he had his trim at PetsMart. Well they took my cell phone # and I waited for the call and listened to the radio just in case there was any reports of a mauling. I picked him up 4 hours later and the staff were all amazed at how good he was. The said he was like "a different dog". Thanks to my training skills. I assume I saved him from the Dog Whisperer. They did recommend more frequent hair appointments and charged me $5 more for the extensive make-over and hair disposal. The lo-cal Beneful dog food has caused him to lose 2 lbs. I didn't notice the weight loss that took place under his Chewbacca hair. So I was so happy that he really wasn't a Ted Bundy after all. I'm off to take him for a walk and introduce my new dog to the nieghbohood.

Ho Ho Ho

We went to get our Christmas Tree. It was 76 degrees and sunny but we fought the elements and went out any way. Lowe's had the usual Christmas Twig for $21. You had to pay $42 for anything that resembled a tree. CP warned me not to bring home another pygmy tree like I did last year. So we found a Christian Ministry selling trees. It was Crossfire Ministries sort of like athletes In Action. They had one nice tree on the lot. I offered them $20 for it and cinched the deal. Just as the guy was about to wrap it up he discovers a tag on it that says "Save, Sold to Sheldon $30". So we then look around the lot again and then were about to leave when the guy comes over and says we can have that tree for $20. So we have a little Christian small talk and he loads the tree. As we are driving out I see him putting the "Sold to Sheldon" tag on another tree. Always make 'em feel they are getting a deal.

I moved the 48 gallon fish tank out of my office/TV room/recliner emporium to the living room. This was done in anticipation of Monday's arrival of Princess Leia. Or as I like to call her Princess Lei-Arounda. I will put the trundle-bed in there for her. This way she can sleep in, without Bo licking her toes. Marianne made it quite clear that the air bed in the living room was not going to cut it. After filling up 3 trash cans with water and removing the gravel, plants, rocks and fish, Ben and I carried it to the living room. I positioned it carefully checked it with a tape measure, plumb line and GPS and then returned the 600 lbs. of water with a bilge pump. As I put the last gallon in I realized the outlet (which was 4 inches from the side of the stand) was not a GFI (ground fault interrupter) outlet. In my office/den the circuit has a ground fault breaker in the fuse box. So, I'm looking at my options. Break my hump trying to put the GFI outlet in next to the tank, or buy a 15 amp GFI circuit breaker for the box or a GFI extension cord. The later two choices are both expensive. Then I had a moment of clarity and realized that I could put the GFI device in any outlet that was proximal to the fish tank outlet. To my utter delight the fish tank outlet was the last one on that circuit! There I am happily putting the the GFI outlet in a spot right out in the open. Now, I have installed about a half dozen ground default interrupter outlets in my life. In Maryland they would always fry with the lightning strikes that were common on our little windy hill. They are not really surge protectors per-se, but they have saved many of our T.V.s and computers. And I actually know a man whose life was saved by a GFI when his wife dropped the hairdryer in his bathtub. As a safety feature the new devices won't work if installed improperly. You have to connect the line circuit to one spot and the load circuit to the other and have a good ground. So I'm reading how they have made the device idiot-proof and chuckling to myself. Then I take my meter and identify the line and the load wires and hook it up and voila, I had it backwards. So I get out the directions and read them and it says if the device doesn't work you hooked it up backwards,(DUMMY)! Now I have the fish tank in the living room for all to enjoy, and best of all I can drop the light in it while I have my hands in the tank, standing in a puddle, leaning on a pipe and test my new GFI.

The Jaunty Mr. Bo

Bo just got his Lands End Squall jacket. It came just in time since he is getting his hair clipped in two weeks. I really didn't plan on him getting so mangy but Dreamboat Hair Salon For Dogs had a three month waiting list. They are the only ones in western North Carolina who know how to cut a Welsh Terrier. PetsMart asked what breed he was and then got their book out to look him up.

Diamonds Will Leave Her Speechless

Or as Ron White the comedian says, "Diamonds: That'll shut her up." We went to see the movie Blood Diamond. Being the socially conscious fellow I am I haven't bought a diamond in fifty-five years. Blood Diamond is about the diamond trade and how it exploits Africa and is responsible for revolution and genocide. It was a great movie, four stars. Leonardo DiCapria still has to mature a little to play the rough, worldly soldier of fortune mercenary, yet he put foward a strong performance. Jennifer Conally was good as the jaded reporter. The Oscar performance goes to Dijimon Hounsou. He played the African fisherman whose village is destroyed who is then forced to be a slave in a diamond mine, and whose twelve year old son is kidnapped by the guerillas and brainwashed to become a murdering thug. The R rating comes from the indiscriminant violence and wholesale slaughter that is typical in movies concerning today's Africa. I wonder if the Christmas release of the film will have any effect on this season's jewelry sales. I never really got the whole diamond schtick. Diamonds are not rare, they should not be expensive, they are not neccessary. The price is kept high by the artificial man-made shortage. Most of the industrial uses have been replaced by other materials such as carbide. Synthetic diamonds are now available and hopefully they will do what cultured pearls did for that industry. If we just took all the diamonds worn during the Biltmore Baptist's Christmas Show we could flood the market and knock the bottom out of the futures market. I'm done ranting. It was a good movie. I would have prefered George Clooney in the lead. I still see DiCapria on the bow of the Titanic yelling "I'm king of the world".

I also went to see Apocalypto which was a Pieceofcrappo. It was actually painful to sit through this two and a half hour jungle chase scene. It was Rambo in a grass skirt. It was the Last of the Mohicans meets Hannibal Lechter. It just stunk. Save your money.

The Coffee Maker Saga

We are embarking on a milestone in our marriage. Not our twenty-fifth anniversary, something more profound. Possibly our third Coffee Maker. Our first one, a wedding gift lasted about 15 years. It survived a half dozen moves sitting on CP's lap and about 5 replacement carafes. I kept that Black and Decker baby going with a dozen high colonic flushes with muriatic acid, a few spliced wires (who needs that pesky over-heat kill switch anyway) and a couple new wall plugs. But one day after months of groaning and hissing it just burst into flames and seized up.

Our next Black and Decker was the thermal carafe type. I think CP first coveted this model while we visited MD. Well, to my horror, after only ten years of faithful service the little plastic flapper valve in the basket dissolved. This causes a little mess when it keeps dribbling when the pot is removed or when you go to toss the grounds out. Now I threatened to go online and get a replacement part from B&D but CP won't stand for it. It went something like this "just because you were raised during the Great Depression does not mean I can't get a new coffee pot every ten years". While in Las Vegas CP fell in love with my sister's Cuisinart Brew Station. Well I caved (after being put on hold withB&D three times) and set out buy the same one for her for Christmas. I surfed the web, went to Biz-Rate, Shopzilla, Amazon and even the Sam's Club in Asheville. I found it online for $100 with free shipping and no sales tax so I ordered it early to make sure it would arrive for Christmas. It arrived Monday. Today we went to a New Sam's Club in Hooterville and Carol points out to me the coffee maker I just received on my doorstep. Slowly I turn to look down the the aisle while saying to myself "Lord please don't let it be too much cheaper". But there it was for $69. Thanks a lot, CP. A kind person would have thrown her body over the price tag as if it were a hand grenade. I went and drowned my despair in Sam's Club's free samples. When you get to be a "middle aged white guy who knows everything" there are no more dragons to slay; there's just bargains to find. Damn You Sam's Club!

Two Excellent Period Pieces

This weekend, when the temp. dropped below 50 degrees we decided to go to the movies twice.

We saw the film with Helen Mirren about Queen Elizabeth during the week following the Death of Princess Diana. It was a great film that captured both the mood of the tragedy and the institution of the Royal Family. It was perfect. Every character was believable and no one over acted or pushed some hidden agenda. I give it 5 stars.

On Sunday we went to see The Nativity. It was also great. It was not too ambitious and it lacked the goofiness of movies produced by Christian organizations. I give it 4 stars. I thought Joseph was a little too young and attractive. Also I thought some of the Magi scenes had a touch of Harry Potter mysticism that was unnecessary. I recommend to MP that she take her Missionettes to see it. But, of course, like any Christian movie it is mired in controversy. You see, the sixteen year old star that plays Mary (Kiesha Castle-Hughes) was pregnant out of wedlock during the filming. It was a great Christmas movie that should be viewed in the theatre on the big screen, not some time in March when the DVD comes out.