You're in good hands with Allstate

Or as a pastor once said "Have too many accidents and Allstate is going to get you out of their hands". Which brings me to BC/BS of North Carolina. Seems that in order to keep our health insurance premiums the same for that little group of ten merry men I work with, Blue Cross made us an offer we couldn't refuse. Just raise your deductible from $500 to $5,400 and add $10 dollars more to your office co-pay and forget the free generic drugs and we will let you live. Being the smart physicians we are the group opted to create a MERP (Medical Expense Reimbursement Plan). The fellow who came to us with this proposition was one of the docs' friends. The guy reminded me of the "jump to conclusions" guy from "Office Space". However, after a half hour of explanation I began to see that we were really self-insuring the high deductible. Sort of laying off the risk like a bookie. Now the MERP plan required us to do a little more leg work. I had to fax in all my EOB's from BC/BS and my prescriptions, etc. Now our BC/BS card no longer listed any of the former benefits like co-pays and Rx. drugs. Instead it just had that $5,400 deductible printed on it in day-glo letters; which meant you better have your VISA card with you at all times. The name of the MERP company I can't divulge because of the ongoing investigations by the SEC, FBI and Justice Department. We asked for a card to put in our wallet so we didn't get harrassed for the co-pays. Our MERP company sent us cards that tried to explain the screwy plan in 250 words or less. This card (which looked like I made it on Photo-Shop) caused a myriad of dumb looks and confusion at all the Dr's offices and pharmacies. This new-deal plan coincided with CP's foray into the chiropractic nebula. About 3 days a week I was at the Fax machine working the MERP. All went well for a couple of months, but then the checks stopped. I had the sneaking suspicion that I was faxing to some machine located in a storage facility. Finally the truth came out: the MERP company had moved off shore. To the Cayman Islands; to be specific: GPS latitude 34 longitude 183. But it gets even better!

The hospital I am affiliated with and to whom my doctors works for will no longer accept BC/BS. It seems they say BC/BS is low balling them and the two are in a spitting contest. Besides not being able to go to the hospital I'm affiliated with, or see colleagues I know on a first name basis, this will also cut down my revenue if the BC/BS patients have to go to the next town along with me. I found this out as I was leaving work to go for my three month blood-pressure appointment. I'm driving the mile from the hospital to my affiliated doctor thinking I'm not going to pay $96 for a blood pressure check. I walk in and am trying to remain coherent. I asked the receptionist (who I lovingly refer to as the amoeba) if it is true that they no longer accept BC/BS. She says YES. She says "we really feel bad about it and there isn't anything we can do, I'm afraid we will be losing allot of patients". I calmly say "cancel my appointment, this means I have to find another doctor". By now I feel like blood is about to shoot out my right eye.

Everyone knows that rumors travel around a hospital quicker than the common cold. I come home and tell CP and she tells me there is a letter in the mail from the hospital concerning this. I don't care to look at it. Instead, I do what I usually do when I'm stressed out: I go to SAM'S CLUB. As I am walking in my cell goes off and it's my doctor telling me that the BC/BS thing doesn't take effect for six weeks. She tells me I need to keep my blood pressure under control and that hopefully this little feud with the insurance companies will be resolved in the next six weeks. I didn't feel like a total mug because her office staff didn't have the facts straight either. So I'm rescheduled for this Weds. Now for me to get out of work by 3:15 pm, the time of their last Monday through Thursday appointments, isn't easy so I really feel like a bone-head. Alas, don't worry, George Bush is going to fix health care with a tax deduction for 2 per cent of the population. But don't get me started on that. Somewhere in the Cayman Islands there is some insurance CEO drinking a Pina-Colada on my tab.

Where's Waldo

We just returned from Savannah GA. We ate at Paula Deen's Restaurant. I had the best southern fried chicken of my life. If I lived there it would be death by trans-fat. One has to make reservations early in the day , in person, for Paula's place. Then you line up with the rest of the salivating mob across the street and wait to have your name called. See if you can pick out CP in the crowd of eager connoisseurs. CP ordered the seafood platter which I captured on film. I went for the mountain of chicken and baby-back ribs on the buffet.

Seeing that Savannah was the only major southern city not burned to the ground during the War of Northern Aggression it is rich in history. We visited a cemetery. I took a picture of this headstone because after reading of all this great man's accomplishments I was amused at what a second billing his wife got. The marker must have been purchased by his family.

Sticker Shock.

Saturday was beautiful. It was sunny and 72 degrees. It was so nice that Ben and I took Bo to the Arboretum to hike. Now it costs six dollars to park in the Arboretum parking lot so I decided to try to find a place to park and hike in. I found a trail head and we parked and went on a great 5 mile hike and found the trail into the arboretum. Now we didn't sneak in, there is a gate that is open till 6 pm.

When I parked I did notice a NO PARKING sign about three cars down. It had the arrows pointing both ways but I didn't see another sign nearby to tell exactly where the No Parking zone ended. Also, there where about a dozen other cars parked there. When we wearily returned to the trail head I saw this wild Arab guy running around. He comes up to me and shows me this piece of paper and stammering, asking me what it means. I look at it and tell him it's a ticket. So he points to my windshield and I see I have a ticket also. I take a breath and decide I'm not going to let this ruin my beautiful day. Then I open it and the fine is $75 plus a $25 administrative fee, for a grand total of $100. Now since when did parking tickets go from $15 and $25 dollars? It's not like I was parked in the handicapped place in front of the hospital for crippled children's heli-port. It seems that this "Experimental Forest" is federal land and this is now a federal case. So Officer Dibble just gave a dozen citizens fines equaling $1,200 dollars in less than 20 minutes. Driving out I did notice the sign showing the end of the no parking zone. It was about five cars down around a bend and up a hill. I drove out feeling good about finding the other entrance to the arboretum, and saving $6. A mile down the road I see the Arab at another trailhead ranting and raving to some ranger.

Did you ever wonder where Ted Kazinsky and David Koresh types come from? I came home and considered my options. I couldn't take the day off to go to Federal Court. Although I did consider sending my advocate CP. I could ignore it and wait till a warrant was issued and I wound up in "Federal Pound Me In The &#@ Prison". Or I could just pay it. I had CP go to the web site and put it on my VISA card. It's amazing how efficient the federal government can be when it comes to collecting your money. I'm not ready to build a cabin in the woods yet, but I'm going to make a $400 dollar donation to charity to get my $100 bucks back at tax time.

"TOP OF THE WORLD MA"