Farewell America

It is with much sadness that I leave America. I'm paddling to New Zealand. I won't live in a country that is stupid enough to fall for the Beast (McCain) and the False Prophet (Huckabee). Right now they are the darlings of the media. After the convention the media will turn on them and expose the unholy alliance as being Lt. Cmdr. Queeg and Elmer Gantry. Now if I can figure out how to reach the ocean from the Great Smoky Mountains.

I'm counting on Florida

There is just one hour left before the polls close in Florida. I'm praying that Romney wins just so I won't have to watch the Generalissimo on TV anymore posing as a conservative .

My Best Side

In order to stay in touch with the narcissistic self-centered Face Book / My Space crowd I am posting the pictures of my colonoscopy. It is just a natural progression from my previous pictures of my cracked abscessed tooth and bloody retina. Perhaps this selfless act will spur others of my generation to partake of the only screening test that has been proven to affect outcome: the one-eyed black snake. "Here's looking at you, kid".

I read this article in Macleans magazine. For those of you less traveled, Macleans is like the Newsweek of Canada. It seems that that beacon of socialized medicine has a problem. Canada has a doctor shortage. What a surprise! Can that be the future for the U.S.? Universal health insurance but no doctors.

Part of the problem is that 53% of the medical school graduates are now women. In a normal career a female physician will work an average of ten years less, see 10 % less patients in a day and work 10 hours less a week. This problem came to light in the U.S. a few years ago when the general surgery residencies started graduating greater numbers of women surgeons. The existing shortage was aggravated by the decreased time that these woman were devoting to surgery. I think that today's male doctor also refuses to follow his predecessors into a life of 80 hour work weeks plus call for fifty years.. Between socialized medicine and and punitive taxation I don't think doctors are going to answer the phone after five p.m. If you have a credit card you will still be able to find a plumber. Now there is talk of Medicare covering dentistry. Try to find a dentist in the U.K. The last one left for Canada six months ago. My advice to you is to take care of your health. However, don't take too good care of yourself; less you end up in a nursing home dying of nothing.

R.I.P. Huckabee

It is with much sadness that I bid the false prophet adieu. The people of South Carolina have chosen the open boarders Ted Kennedy patsy over Governor Spamalot. Babba although articulate will defer to Howie Carr to explain what was the Hukabee "Brother Love Traveling Salvation Show. See this article.

The Savages

Babba and his sister

We went to see the movie "The Savages" at the Fine Arts Theatre. It starred two of my favorite actors, Laura Linney and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. It is about a sister and brother who have to place their less than perfect elderly father in a nursing home. Having gone through this scenario before it was great to see these two fine actors give life to what my sister and I went through. The characters were perfect. All the emotions of the circumstance are brought to light. As all great movies its strength was in its characters and the emotions they reveal. Being a limited release indie film I doubt many will see it. Comparing it to the Hollywood film "The Bucket List" I can see why nothing good comes out of Hollywood. In the "Bucket List" two guys that are diagnosed with cancer go about doing all the crazy things they never did. This is pure Hollywood. When a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness they don't want to go sky diving or run the bulls in Spain. They want to go to work another day, they want to be close to their family. Try sky diving after chemotherapy.

If you want to see a fantastic movie go find "The Savages". If you want high priced schlock go to the mall and see "The Bucket List". The critics panned "The Bucket List", yet it will make $ on the strength of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The same people who pick style over substance. The same people who vote for Huckabee.

Speaking of senior moments. This morning we had a Last Will and Testament party. We invited three good friends and our neighborhood Notary over to witness our wills. We got the pesky signing out of the away in 20 minutes and then 3 pots of coffee and two hours later the party broke up. All that coffee necessitated a bathroom stop when I got to the theatre and then another one about an hour into the film. After going to the rest room I come back into the movie and it's pitch black. I wait about 20 seconds for my eyes to adjust but the scene on the screen was a parking lot at midnight. So I thought I spied CP but after I scooted in and sat down I realized I was next to a young woman sitting by herself. I slink away apologizing and mumbling some incoherent babble about the wrong row. All the while I can hear CP just laughing away. I left the theatre via they emergency exit before the lights came on. The only thing that could have made it worse is if I used my Sling Blade voice. Next time I'll wear ATTENDS.

Send Lawyers, Guns and Money

In Other People's Money actor Danny DeVito says "lawyers are like nuclear missiles. They have theirs so you need to have yours." So this is the phase my new contract is in. I wish you could just go to work with a handshake. I'll do this and you pay me that. Not today I'm afraid. If you hire a baby sitter you better have at least a ten page contract. Too bad John Edwards is busy with that presidential campaign since he is for the little guy. But I do like my lawyer, she is a street wise brawler, just what I need. Right now we are in a thirty day cooling off period. After that, if we deadlock I think the group will split along gender lines. The men will walk, the women will sign. I'd be more optimistic except I work for a "Christian Organization". Maybe I should get Mike Huckabee; oh wait he's not a lawyer, he's just a former PR guy for a televangelist who's now hawking vitamin supplements.

It's About Time Someone Around Here Did Something For The Family Name

Major snaps for Ben for passing the foreign service exam. You may be having a visit from two men in black, as now he is getting his security clearance. He is also has to pass his physical examination. As I write this we are frantically trying to recover all the copies of the Osama Bin Bloopers video he made. We are hoping his first post is somewhere exciting: like Ottawa.

Idiocracy

Idiocracy is a movie from the the director of Office Space. It is a sci-fi/American Pie/black comedy. The plot is about an army enlisted man of average intelligence who is putting in his time waiting for retirement as an Army librarian. Because he is so average he is picked for an army experiment to place him in suspended animation for a year. The plan goes awry and he wakes up 500 years later to a world of people with an average IQ of 70. This came about because the social welfare programs favored the poor for reproduction and turned natural selection on its ear. While the yuppies were having 0.5 children per couple the Bubba's were having 20 children with the endless supply of single women in the trailer park. The movie is crude and excessive yet the questions it asks are dead serious. I'm actually amazed someone produced this movie in today's culture. However, even the makers of Office Space couldn't prepare me for what I would see later: the presidential debates!

The key word for the Dem's is "change." Every third word spoken was change. I haven't heard the word change that often since I worked at the Lady Luck Casino in Vegas. After one hour of debate I had no idea what any of them said or believed. It was just CHANGE-CHANGE-CHANGE. Who was going to provide the most of it; but not what the change was going to be. I always thought change was a neutral symbol. After the change triangle there was usually a positive or negative sign. They are talking to the public like we are a bunch of morons.

The hypnotic mantra of change was only slightly upstaged by Obama's constant pronunciation of Pakistan as Pokeystahn. Bill Richardson the great former energy secretary who gave away our nuclear secrets was there. To me he looks like Lou Costello in congestive heart failure. Judging by his aura Obama seemed off his game. His messianic persona was absent. Hillary came off as usual, with all the warmth and charm of a walleyed pike. John Edwards was peddling his own brand of snake oil. He reminded of Huey Long with a foo foo haircut. If any of these losers becomes president the country will become an Idiocracy in one term.


THE TRUE FACE OF CHANGE

How Could This Not Be Good News?

This morning I awoke at 4 am and heard on the radio that Hilliary came in third in Iowa. I haven't been so surprised and delighted since I heard on the radio that some of my friends knocked off the Lufthansa cargo terminal at La Guardia in 1970. Now I realize that Huckaberry did beat Romney but I don't think he can repeat that in New Hampshire . They just don't have enough home-schoolers in N.H. to pull it off.
On a lighter note the Britney Spears saga continues. Forget about the worthless dollar, the illegal alien invasion, the social security mess and the deficit, Britney is holding her own child hostage. Perhaps, that's why the political candidates with nothing to say are ahead in the polls.
Hillary hasn't given up completely. She is hoping this campaign ad will help her in New Hampshire.

VOTE FOR ME OR I'LL SHOOT
THE DOG