La Femme BO

Bo has a new hairdresser. He no longer goes to "Dreamboat". He is now getting his coiffure at "Stepamgar's" where he is boarded. Dreamboat is 10 miles away in Hendersonville and it didn't pay to make that trip twice in one day. So Bo went down our road about a quarter of a mile to his favorite place. They did a good job except for his face which has a poodle look to it. I'll bring a picture of his previous haircut when I go back. Bo doesn't need a haircut that makes him look swishy.

La Directore'

The sun beat down, like a heat lamp gone ape. The players rehearsed for eight hours under the blazing heat and heavy hand of the director from hell. With just five days left the players at Montford on the French Broad are feeling the pressure. This Friday "As You Like It" opens at the Montford Park Theater in Asheville. The longest continuous running Shakespearean Theater in America welcomes the newest shining star in the southern sky.

Does Babba have V.I.?

MP, Hannah and CP are all in agreement that Babba suffers from "Voice Immodulation Disorder", better known as V.I. At least now I have a diagnosis. Prior to this CP has just called me a "Raving Lunatic". I believe my mild case of "V.I." is due to years of either being purposefully ignored or living with the hearing impaired. Could my "V.I." have been caused by years of talking over the din of 24/7 Food Network or Bridezillas? According to the testimony of these three witnesses I have a full blown case of "V.I.". Now I'm concerned I may have something called "L.F.", "Large Font Disorder".

Does This Shirt Make Me Look Dumb

My in-laws went to the fresh-air-market and all I got was this shirt. Now I'm walking around Graham County N.C., and with this shirt on I might be mistaken for a target. I did read on the net today that Obama flair is outselling McCain's by four to one. McCain needs to offer a line of accessories that appeals to his constituency. He can offer the official "straight talk express" denture cups, clapper, and electric scooter.

The Obama campaign has taken on a carnival atmosphere. I expect to see people carrying twenty foot tall pictures of him like in some banana republic. The more he speaks the dumber he sounds. The G.O.P. should rekindle that Goldwater ad from '64: "In Your Heart You Know He's Right" and apply it to Obama "In Your Heart You Know He's Dumb".

Speaking of dumb, I just noticed that this gallon of windshield wiper fluid (liquida limpia parabrisas) is protected from freezing to a maximum of +32 F'. That is the temperature that plain water freezes at. Where is the protection? Why do they have a picture of Mount Everest on the bottle? Why not a tropical scene? I thought it meant -32 F'. I'll have to be sure to use it all up before winter. Why don't they call this crap what it is: bottled water with a drop of food coloring and a spritz of Windex.

Fear and Loathing in The Smokies

Since my survival skills are not as good as Eric Rudolph's I must return to civilization. I'm amazed that I'm just two hours away from the land of Obama. I think I found my next hobby "Tubing". Nothing beats floating down a creek flowing with class I whitewater with a bunch of fat, intoxicated Yaa-Hoo's to make you forget about Global Warming and Socialized Medicine.

Stay tuned for a complete report on Babba's "Summer of Love Convergence" on Lake Santeetlah.

If you love me, FEED MY FISH.

Marianne rolled into Asheville in the wee hours of Tues. morning to resume her direction of Shakespeare's "As you Like It". I tried to keep the sticky-note memo's to a minimum. I must have been delusional. It seems that everything we told her to do like get the mail, feed the fish etc. were taken as suggestions.

Ben is doing great in D.C. He has a nice studio apartment and allot of nice people around him. So far he is enjoying his orientation. We can't ask too many questions or else he would have to kill us.

CP and I are relaxing in the Smokey Mountains. We are just about as far away from civilization as one can get and still have the Internet. I'm trying to relax and take a break from all the craziness that is our world. Yes there are still some places so remote and pristine that you think you have left Planet-Hollywood.

Gone With The Wind; on I-81

Ben left this morning for the Foreign Service, our prayers go with him.Frankly my dear, I'll be back in four months!

Where are we going?

Marianne left this morning to go to Grove City and flip David's apartment. Ben is leaving Saturday for D.C. Bo is so confused.

Marianne's Off to Grove City

This picture was captured by the North Carolina State Police in Shelby N.C. It seems a car registered to M.P. was clocked at 84 mph on Route 74 near Shelby. The troopers lost the car after it entered Long Term Parking Lot #2 at the Charlotte Airport.