Click Here For Your Free Sham-Wow

I have noticed an increase in the number of commercials on my cable T.V. Between 4 and 5 am that's all that's on the tube. Even the History Channel, my favorite Ambien substitute switches to "paid programming". I expected the usual hucksters selling duct tape that draws the toxins out of your body through your feet or magnets that stop the pain of arthritis, but the Obama Recession has also increased the number of regular commercials. Besides being able to go to the potty during a commercial, I can now make a pizza and have a shower before the program resumes.
The Obama Recession hasn't hurt the late night "name it and claim it" aka "blab it and grab it" preachers. These people are truly a boil on the butt of the church body. It is late night insanity. Peter Popoff (aka Peter Rip-Off) is hawking some Melba Toast that he claims is magic manna from heaven. This manna has a secret recipe of eleven herbs and spices that God personally delivered to Peter. Matthew 14:36 itself has revitalized the textile industry in the south. I can't find any red or green remnants at Foam and Fabric; the red "prayer hanky" is for physical healing and the green is for a financial blessing. The green hanky is also available as a pocket square for those hedge fund managers that need a special touch.

O.K. you're saying what's the point of Babba's harangue? My point is that the Billy Mays's and Elmer Gantry's take advantage of the foolish and simple people who our education system has failed. The hucksters also take advantage of the elderly, mentally retarded and Alzheimer's sufferers . There is a special corner in hell where they will be tormented by all the crap they peddled. The people giving testimonials look strangely similar to those at Obama rallies.

I'm feeling a bit depressed after writing this. I need to go put some some foil on my head, sit on my Sham-Wow and work my abs.

No Recession in Charleston SC

We went to Hyman's Seafood Restaurant in Charleston. This dish of Shrimp Scampi is already short about eight shrimp I ate before I regained my senses enough to take a picture. There was a 45 minute wait to get into the seafood restaurant--voted the best nine years in a row by Southern Living magazine. I made sure not to have any Maine Lobster, although I was wearing an L.L. Bean shirt, sport coat and shoes.

We stayed at the the luxurious Planters Inn. It is one of Charleston's most historic and tallest buildings. Of course they put us on the top floor, which was a mistake. At least when they moved us this time, it wasn't into a room looking out over the air conditioning unit.

CP went shopping for that elusive Mother of the Bride Dress while I went to my meeting. After five hours of driving 70 mph and being passed by 4,675 cars and trucks going 85 mph we are back home in time to hear Blue Grass Music at the Feed & Seed.

Western N.Y. A Workers Paradise

This article on American Thinker had me laughing my $%& off. Ten years ago driving through Oswego I noticed how depressed the area was. It was full of abandoned houses; the downtown was dead; it looked like it was frozen in time. It's probably like the frog in the boiling water: people don't realize how much things have decayed over the last twenty years. MP and CP are both contributors to American Thinker so you know it is a quality site.

Anytime you see a hospital being the number one employer for a region you can bet you don't want to live there. Tommy should quit that grad school and just become a 100K school janitor in N.Y. The goal of this is to make us all drones of the state. 100K janitor and 100K retired policeman sounds great until you realize 70% of your income is taxed away. It all reminds me of the movie Roger and Me where Michael Moore chronicled the death of Flint, Michigan. Bass Pro Shops is coming to Buffalo? The bass fishing on the Niagara River is the best in the country, especially drift fishing! These people aren't recreational fisherman. If things continue to decline New Yorker's may become subsistence fishermen. I'm sure it takes an environmental impact statement and five permits to bore a hole in the ice and place a shanty on Lake Ontario. Recreational fishing takes leisure time and money, two things not found in abundance in Western N.Y. The plan to ferry the thousands of people to Rochester is emblematic of misguided planning. Why would Canadians leave their own socialist hell on Earth to come to Rochester? They already have cheap beer and cheap smokes. Besides if these Canadians take a little tour around the bay they will lose their place in line for socialized health care; "Hey you with the ruptured brain aneurysm, get back in line!"

I can't see any cure for the malignant socialism that has captured the rust belt. Once a generation has been reduced to serfdom what can be done to reverse the eroding initiative? I escaped N.Y. in 1974. I went to Nevada where there was no speed limit, no mandatory car insurance, no income tax, and I could buy a handgun in the same gas station where I filled my tank. My favorite Mini-Mart! I left the malaise of the Carter administration in my review mirror and discovered there was no gasoline shortage once I crossed the Mississippi. I don't consider Fla. or N.C. a great choice for those seeking freedom and prosperity. N.C. is quickly becoming the Massachusetts of the south. The Scots-Irish fierce Independence is being diluted by whining Yankees. First I would only consider moving to a state that doesn't accept federal stimulus money. It's like the mafia, "I'll lend you the money, sure, now your $%& is mine. I might also consider moving to the states that are passing laws to reaffirm their 10th Amendment rights. They are trying to ward off the hyper-federalism that Obama is peddling under the guise of economic collapse. So until a William Wallace arises to lead us out of this tyranny you should vote with your wallets and your feet. Don't feed the Beast, stock up with ammo before Obama bans it, and stay out of debt. You too can have a Western New York in your future. You too can live in a country more like the eastern Soviet Union, where the only hope resides in a bottle of vodka.

Is it just me? Or is the water getting warm.

Boycott L.L. Bean

"Change We Can Believe In" is about to become "misery from which we will never escape". Two female RINO Republicans from Maine along with a senile senator from the socialist utopia of Pennsylvania are about to bury us under a mountain of debt. The phone lines to Maine babes are turned off and their mail boxes are full. Don't bother with Senator Specter, he's so old and sick he won't live to see the results of this debacle. Anyway, Pa. voters are like abused spouses, the more you beat them and insult them, the more loyal they become.

That it why Babba is asking for your support to boycott Maine's exports. I'll give up eating lobster and blueberries and Maine potatoes. The only other product that Maine produces is L.L. Bean. I'm willing to sacrifice, I spend about $500 a year at L.L. Bean. It is the one upscale merchant I buy from. I have a $10 coupon for L.L. on my fridge that's going to go to waste. I was going to get a few shirts and maybe a sport coat this Spring; Screw You Maine. Too bad we don't have a Republican leader with enough testosterone to lay an LBJ type handshake on these two dumb broads. The fate of the country now resides in two bubble heads and a sick old man; God Help Us!

I'm Cracking Up!

I was standing in Out Patient Surgery interviewing a patient when a nurse came up to me and pointed out that my scrub pants had fallen down. I had an extra pair of large pants over my medium pants because I had to go out in the freezing rain to the MRI truck. Well I was embarrassed but then I realized the it was the second pair of scrubs that prevented me from noticing the sudden temperature change.

Today I walked out of work and called CP to tell her I was on my way home. While walking across the parking lot I did my inventory "wallet, glasses, cell phone, pants". I felt the empty cell phone holster and told CP "%&#@, I forgot my cell phone!" I thought now I have to walk back to the O.R. Then I realized I was talking on it.

I would crack up if I didn't go to work. Between the patients and my co-workers I just can't find this level of entertainment anywhere else. Just today a patient woke up and told me I looked like a movie actor. It took her a minute to remember who the famous actor was, then she blurted out "Al Cappucino". At that momentI knew I wasn't cracking up, I was at work.