Tomato Sauce: A Renewable Energy Source

Driving back from Washington D.C. I was listening to the Dems talk about the need to replace fossil fuel as the number one driver of the nation's economy. I was looking for some way to conceptualize the flawed logic of all this alternative energy propaganda. The only thing I could come up with as I pounded the miles off on I-66 was Italian Tomato Sauce.

In my enchanted land of Italian Cuisine tomato sauce flows from the ground. The best sauce ever exists in abundance waiting to be ladled over one's favorite linguine. However, the Grand Potentate decreed this readily available sauce to be dirty. A decree was issued that all Tomato Sauce was to be made out of fresh tomatoes picked by guest workers and cooked for hours in big factories in Iowa.. The process required much labor and energy. The sauce also had to be canned. Since all the canneries are located in China the sauce had to be loaded on super-tankers for the trip to China, and then returned to the United States on huge container ships. The new canned tomato sauce didn't taste as good as the natural sauce, it also didn't cling to the pasta like the the natural sauce. The canned sauce was also corrosive to pots and utensils.

As people forgot how to go to the pond and ladle the natural sauce they became more and more dependent on the evil tomato growers. In a bold move the Grand Potentate decided to end the nation's dependence on tomatoes. To placate the Maine lobbyists he decreed that cranberries would be substituted for tomatoes. This made the sauce very expensive and quite tart. People ate less and less pasta and eventually forgot that the best sauce in the world was all around them.

However, somewhere deep in the the forest an elderly hermit who never got the memo, bends down and dips his bread in the best sauce on Earth.

Monsoon Wedding

Mexican Havahart Trap

This Plexiglas booth is used to allow workers to work in the O.R. without creating a lot of dust. It rolls around from spot to spot and has a bellows like thing on the top that cranks up to make a flush seal against the ceiling. Last week, to my surprise, I came out of the O.R. and saw two Mexican construction workers in this box. Even with 10% unemployment, the contractors exclusively hire illegals. My first thought upon seing this was "we got two Mexicans in a box". Then I remembered my old Havahart Trap which I used to catch raccoons and cats when I had pigeons.

I thought about calling the I.N.S. but I was afraid they would just put them in a burlap sack and drop them off in the next town like I did with the cats.

GM R.I.P.

GM is dead! Obama can pump thirty billion a year into the corpse, but in the end all we will have is another Amtrak. We were a Chevy family. I had three cousins that were mechanics at Soundview Chevrolet in New Rochelle, N.Y. My first car was a 1953 Chevrolet Bel-Air. Later I inherited my father's 64 Chevrolet Impala. Then I owned a 73 Oldsmobile Delta 88, 94 Delta 88, a 98 Dodge Ram 1500 and now I drive a 93 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. I also had an array of foreign cars (Citroen, Fiat, V.W.,Toyota, Honda and Subaru). I think I lucked out because all the American cars I've owned have been good. I think I missed out on Detroit's true lemons. I had cousins at Chevy that warned me about the Corvair.

This is a sentinel event. The UAW, Environmental Socialists and loony Global Warming hysterics have killed the greatest company on Earth. GM isn't really dead; it's in a federally subsidized coma. I remember the skies over Gary Indiana lit up from United States Steel; I remember when this country made things.

God bless the Bolsheviks - They're smarter than us!

Check out this article from Pravda.



Even the Russians are smarter than us.