Post Offices, Buggy Whips and Tune-Ups

U.S. Senate plan would delay rural post office closings

As a nation we passed broke ten years ago. We are now bankrupt and owned by the Godless Chinese Communists. The attempt to close a few rural Post Offices and some distribution centers has the public going Postal. Anyone as delusional as the American public and those ass-clowns they send to Washington should be medicated and sitting in the Day-Room watching CNN.

Who needs mail delivery six days a week? What is so important that you have to have some Mail-Person schlep to your house and deliver the latest Value-Pack in timely manner? If mail was delivered twice a week what would be the big hardship; less junk mail? The final Social Security check was mailed last month, so the screaming seniors have been dragged kicking and screaming into Direct Deposit. They no longer have to go out to the mailbox and get mugged.

It may be cheaper to give every citizen a lap-top and an e-mail account and a tutor. It's time to realize we can't afford to have the Postal Employees with their enormous benefit package hand us a letter everyday. When I was young we had mail delivery twice a day in NYC. That made sense because there wasn't Fed-Ex, e-mail, electronic banking and the 4-G network. The Postal Worker earned about as much as the milkman and didn't retire at 55 with full benefits for life.

When you are broke you can't afford all the quaint niceties of your childhood. However, for now we will just plod along throwing money down the rathole because some person in Pigsknuckle, Arkansas can't wait an extra day to get their K-Mart Sale Flyer. With the bold leadership we see in Congress all we have to look forward to is more bread and circuses.

Far-From-Movin

Leaving your Mini alone in a garage for 6 months can cause problems. There are the usual problems such as stale gas, dead battery, flat spots on tires, vermin eating the wiring etc. However, with the BMW Mini you have to consider that your FOB can go dead and keep you from getting into the locked car. Instead of the FOB having a battery it charges through the ignition lock and sends a radio signal to a sensor in the rear-view mirror that opens the vault.

It reminds me of the Super Beetle I bought used for CP. It only came with one key. Getting a second key wasn't a matter going down to Tru-Value. No way. We had to make three 260 mile round trips to the dealer in Pittsburgh. The key blank, which had more gigs than a lap-top, had to be sent from Germany. The only person who could program the key traveled around the world with the codes in a briefcase handcuffed to his left arm. On top of all that there were only two machines capable of cutting the keys in North America; one of them wasn't due to be in Pittsburgh for 6 weeks. Finally, when Otto and the machine and the key blank all were in Pittsburgh the machine screwed up and ground up the one and only micro-chipped key blank . Four months and 1,200 miles and $450 later we finally got a second key.

The Beetle also lacked an owner's manual. I was silly enough to believe I could just ask for an extra one. No way, the leather bound manual printed by Gutenberg cost $295 and had to come from Stuttgart.

A locked car with a dead battery in a German car isn't an easy fix. I hope Otto isn't busy on Easter Sunday. Ben should go down to the Coliseum, find a Centurion and put him outside his garage. Short of a miracle there is no way that Mini is opening up.

We Just Don't Pilgrimage Like We Used To

This Sunday is Easter. I almost forgot. I wish I was back in Rome to join the one million penitents on the pilgrimage from the Vatican to the Colosseum. It took two thousands years for Rome to fess up to Christian Hunger Games. I'd love to be there for the mass beneath the cross that overshadows the Emperor's box-seats.

Instead I'll be in Rome next month for the Olive Oil Festival. This Easter I'll still be here in Hooterville, along with my sweet tea, hollow chocolate bunnies and my peeps. The pilgrimage will take place as usual starting at the church parking lot and ending at the Chinese Buffet.

I Just Can't Fake It

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Indecision 2012 - Endless Suffrage 2012 - Jump on the Bandwagon Edition
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You have to give it up for Jon Stewart. He really summed up the Romney Campaign. It all sort of reminds me of a Carole King hit from 1968:

And it's too late baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide
And I just can't fake it

Come November I think a lot of voters are going to stay home instead of faking it.

i-Pad As A Second Language

I'm stumbling through learning how to use Ben's old i-Pad. What I like about it:

I can use it outside in broad daylight.
It's faster than my 10 inch $250 Dell notebook.
The graphics are better
The battery lasts 4 times longer.
I can have my Kindle on it.

The only things I don't like is the Blogger App, which is basically a slate board and a piece of chalk. When I'm reading my Kindle Bo turns my page with a flick of his tongue. Now if I can only teach him to realize when I need the page turned.

Thanks to Ben I'm being dragged into the cyber-age. I draw the line on the i-Phone. Besides, Earth-Mother Marianne beat me to Ben's old i-Phone.