President Obama, No One in Arizona is Laughing

We don't have a President; we have a malevolent clown running things. He's not one of us, and he's not all right.

King Leonidas Where Are You?

At Thermopylae 300 Spartans held off a million Persians for three days

Today in Greece thirty thousand protesters killed three bank employees. They were protesting government cuts in social programs, wages and student aid. It's amazing what a little socialism can do for a culture.

Instead of the million soldiers Xerxes sent against King Leonidas he should have sent a handful of community organizers. Having your country conquered doesn't compare to having your pension cut five per cent. Why get involved in that mess in the Valley of Thermopylae when you can throw a few rocks then go back to your villa and sip ouzo and watch the sun set on the Aegean Sea?

Romeo Must Die

This is Sammy the Bull. Sammy is about 8 inches long. He is an Oscar. He is not a nice guy. He killed his mate. He lives with two Pleco's that he can't eat because the are the armadillos of scavengers. Sammy also rearranges the rocks and the gravel in the tank like a back-hoe. That little white bruise on his back is from when he tried to jump out of the tank and eat me (luckily I don't have a pony tail).




Over in the other tank are these guys, two of my three Silver Dollars. They are the opposite of Sammy. They are more like three Jewish Rabbis. However, these guys are almost two inches long and in their own way intimidate all the little tetras and cause them to hide in the plants.




I think Sammy has to go. Hopefully I can find a pet shop to take him. Then I'll move the three Rabbis into his tank. I just have to get up my nerve and put on my slicker and catch Sammy. If you're going to have a tank with one big fish, he should be a fish you like, and not one that is terminally pissed-off.

A quart of wheat for a day wages

I get my financial information where I get my groceries, at Wal-Mart. I have watched the price of Great Value pretzel rods go from 88 cents a year ago to $1.88 today. In the last two weeks I've seen a 1O% price increase in my leading economic indicators, which includes coffee, tea, bananas, dog food and Metamucil.

Now that we have an oil spill in the gulf the size of Texas, they have stopped all gulf oil production. I'm watching the price of a gallon of gasoline go up 5 cents a week. It will be $3 for the Memorial Day weekend and $4 dollars per gallon by Independence Day. I'm seeing inflation everywhere I look, even if the state run media denies it. Inflation is just another tax and at this rate my 401K and five dollars will get me a cup of coffee.

Falling Prices; Don't fall for it. Go to Wal-Mart.

Obama; the father you wish you never had

I'm thinking about what makes President Obama so different than previous chief executives. I know our presidents are not father figures per-se like Abraham or Moses or Hitler, but they do have some paternal qualities. Imagine a father with obamanesque qualities:
He doesn't really identify with his children
He doesn't think they are too intelligent
He doesn't think they are special
He constantly apologizes for them
He doesn't keep them safe
He doesn't have their best interests at heart
He uses them for social experiments
He has no regard for their opinions
He wants to control every facet of their life
He thinks they exist to worship him

Now you see a fatherless president who lacks any paternal instincts. He never learned or had anyone to show him what a father is. I'm not saying that every great leader came from a perfect family. The chaotic fatherless early years of President Obama have left us with an angry adolescent who is devoid of paternal instincts. Are you surprised that this father is spawning a nation of rebellious children?

I Love My Beater

Beater:

A car used for daily transport to avoid damage or wear on a nicer car.

I drove my beater to work today, it's raining too hard to take the Z.

Since my two batteries in the Honda's went toe-up I thought I should check the battery in my beater. The sloth that I demonstrated in battery maintenance with the Honda's became a teachable moment. Now, I put the last battery in the Old's and it was a real treat. That was at least five years ago and although I'm sure the Wal-Mart battery is better than OEM batteries I thought I should at least check the fluid level. I had enough forethought to bring a litre of distilled water home from work.

This is what it takes just to reach the battery in a 93 Old's Cutlass Supreme
1) remove strut
2) remove air-box
3) remove starter relay
4) remove + cable from battery (cable passes through hole in reservoir)
5) remove windshield fluid reservoir

It was harder than usual because one strut bolt comes out in the wheel well at the strut tower and was rusted. Finally, some WD-40 loosened it up before I snapped it. It was all worth it because each cell took a few ounces of water. When I was done it started right up and since I didn't break anything I consider it a success. In five years I'll do it again.

Breaking News

http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20100426/NEWS/100429851/1197?Title=Ill-firefighters-rescue-dog-from-recliner-chair

NAPERVILLE, Ill. (AP) — Three suburban Chicago firefighters rescued a small dog that became trapped inside a mechanized recliner chair by sawing the piece of furniture apart.

Eighty-seven-year-old owner Ken Makris says his terrier, Ebonyser, has nerve damage following his Thursday night ordeal but that he is "coming along fine."

Firefighters who responded to an emergency call from the Sunrise of Naperville assisted living center Thursday arrived to find a nurse's aide hanging onto the chair to relieve the pressure on the dog and allow it to breathe. Firefighter and paramedic Scott Bolda says the chair's electrical controls stopped working when Ebonyser become wedged inside.

Makris says the 5-year-old pooch is on painkillers but that he was able to go out for a walk Monday

This was on the front page of our own Hooterville Times News. There was nothing about the civil war in Mexico, the collapse of the E.U. or the 3 trillion dollar national debt.

Has anyone seen Bo lately?????????