Silly Books and Large Breasts: I Hate Them Both

After starting the second book of the "Hunger Games Trilogy", I've given up on it. I know it was highly recommended, but it has the fatal flaw of being silly. Next I read about fifty pages of "The Art Of Racing In The Rain." I gave up on that, too. It was also recommended, but it seemed to be a lot of New Age pablum written in the fourth-person: the family dog. Plus, it seemed silly in this age of Obama fascism.

I needed a break from all this gloom so I decided to read the second book in the Calvin Becker Trilogy, "Saving Grandma." The first book, "Portofino" I totally enjoyed. I'd always rather have a book and I have Amazon Prime so shipping is free. However, it was $1.80 cheaper on the Kindle. So, since I wanted to read on this chilly weekend (22 degrees) that I'm on some imaginary back-up call because the anesthesiologist is 35 week pregnant, I purchased the Kindle book. After two chapters I'm glad I got it. The only problem is that CP doesn't like sharing her Kindle with me. Just because I accidentally turn on the wireless and returned a book to the library that she had waited three months for is no reason to get stingy with her Kindle.


Is it possible to find a chicken breast that isn't that isn't a 44-triple-D? What is this, "The Hens Of Orange County?" They take forever to cook and one is no longer just enough for one person. Plus, they're tough. Every once in a while I get one that seems to be made by Michelin. Somewhere out there, there must be a flock of flat-chested chickens. I understand that things always get bigger (today's Subaru Forester was yesterday's Outback) but with other things I can always trade down a model. When it comes to poultry bigger isn't better and just because you can breed a flock of feathered Dolly Partons, that doesn't mean you should. Someone should introduce a line of small tender, juicy, succulent chicken products; they can name it Emo-Chicken.

Must Watch

Next Thursday Miss Piggy is going to be the guest judge on Project Runway. I can't wait!

Girls Gone Wild

What's going on in Leroy? This is either some weird stuff or the biggest prank since "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." I need my peeps in the Leroy area to keep me updated on this.

It reminds me of my first day of school. They called my mother and told her they were sending me home because they thought I was retarded. My mother's reply was "I can assure you, He will not be retarded tomorrow."

Hopefully, my mole in the Chili School District can find something out about this story. It must be all the number one topic in the teacher's lounge. This is such an odd event, especially in the eco-freindly totalitarian Peoples Republic Of New York.

It's About Time Sombody In This Family Got Tenure

Ben is now a "made man". He has tenure with the Clinton family. The last time someone in this family got tenure it was 1957, with the Gambino family. Now he is one of the family; Cosa Nostra.

Personally, I would not work for any organization that would give me tenure.

Congratulations Ben!

Jon Huntsman's Values

This is what happens when your supporters include the fringe element of any persuasion. Ron Paul has repudiated this video. The problem is like having a family with to many crazy relatives, you run out of back rooms to hide them in. What is this video? Is it the trailer for the new movie Manchurian Village Of The Damned? Since the movie season is a bust I'm just waiting for the next campaign commercial.

Welsh Pre-Wash Cycle

Bo does his part to help out in the kitchen (our dishwasher needs all the help it can get). In fact he gets really impatient if the dishes aren't cleared in a timely manner. Tonight I noticed that when I put a drippy plate in rack and the gravy dripped on the door he pushed the rack in to reach the gravy on the door. Then I stuck the greasy pan in the back of the washer and he pulled the rack out to lick it. Maybe I should get him a stepladder and let him just stand at the sink and do the dishes.

I hope this doesn't dissuade any of our dinner guests from coming back again.

Iowa Is Just A Four Letter Word........Dumb

I'm so tired of this Iowa Caucus. The Iran War has started, civil war has started in Nigeria, Iran is threatening to blockade the Strait Of Hormuz and our beloved Caliph wants to borrow another 1.3 trillion.

A caucus is a group of people that meet and argue for their candidate until the rest of the group gets exhausted and goes home. What kind of a way is this to pick a candidate? It reminds me of a Yankee Candle Party without the passion. We are so worried about access to the polls for minorities and illegals, but how many of those are going to get an invitation to the neighborhood block party? How much intimidation can one suffer at the hands of the mini-mob? It's much more intimidating to show your driver's license to a poll-worker. I'm so tired of 23 hours of caucus news coverage that I'm tempted to vote for Huntsman. He's the the only one with enough testosterone to tell them corn-shucking ethanol subsidized yahoos where to go.

In the meantime I'm just consoling myself by doing demotivational posters of the Iowa Republican nominees.