Biscuits Disease

There are nuances of the south I'm still getting used to. In West Virginia people just said boyfriend or girlfriend or old lady or fella etc when referring to that on-going relationship that had not been officially sanctioned by the church or state. Here it seems that when I ask for a contact person I get the word "fiance" allot. Now I'm talking about senior citizens here. I guess there are tax reasons and pension considerations. After having, say, 5 seniors list their contact person in one day I am starting to catch on. In W.V. people just put down Joe Blow, their latest squeeze without any trepidation. In deference to more traditional mores these Viagra popping, Implant requesting, Botox sucking seasoned citizens feel the need to make this distinction. It's just something that struck me odd. If all these octagenarians decide to tie the knot on the same weekend it will make the gas lines of 2 weeks ago look short. POS's are very common here as they are elsewhere (persons of size). It is fondly refered to here as Biscuits Disease. I'm talking 300 plus. The W.V. Mountain Dew habit is popular here also, but it is supplemented by mass quantities of sweet tea. Eating out is very popular, even among the working class. I reckon about 25% of the population eat out every meal. The Domino's truck can be seen on my street every night. The other southern passion I have noticed is cars. It's hard to spot a vehicle more than 3 years old unless it is doing yard work or is a classic restoration. Where do all these used cars go to? I wish I kept my 17 year old rusted out W.V. assault vehicle, my Toyota 4-Runner, just to make a statement. In order to blend I would have to get a red Thunderbird convertible put on an ascot and a dickie and cruise around with a foofy dog on my lap and have personalized licence plates that said "MY WAY". I'm not in Kansas anymore. It's just different. Maybe it's me; after all I spent the last 13 years living among the Amish.