WARNING: This Warning is Graphic.

Now that the nanny-state has decided to put graphic photos of lung cancer, tracheotomies, and ventilators on cigarette packs we can all relax. After forty years of state education Americans now need shock photos to permeate our thick skulls, because obviously we can't read a written warning or consider risk. I remember Black-Lung being displayed at Science Fairs when I was in school. I guess it kept me from working in a coal mine, but I still tried smoking. And I didn't quit because I was shocked at a young age by a charcoal sea-sponge. Now that most of the country is illiterate and has the critical thinking capacity of a gnat, I see endless possibilities for graphic warnings.


Warning: Obama now controls your thermostat.












Warning: May contain up to 15% ethanol.









Warning: Do not text while driving.












Warning: TSA security screening ahead.

















Warning: Fast food may contribute to childhood obesity.










Warning: Jogging may lead to cardiac arrhythmia.










Warning: Twitter can lead to unemployment.












Warning: Living in New York can lead to unemployment.










Warning: Staying at Comfort-Inn may lead to scratching.







Warning: Breaking a CFL light bulb may lead to Spring Cleaning.