Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Prelude to Thanksgiving in Rochester

This is what happens when a Hyper-Calvinist meets a Rabid-Arminian. Warning, the results may not be pretty. My money is on the Kahunnah.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

2008 Presidential Nominees





After reading the text below the above people just popped into my mind.



Creed
by Steve Turner


This is the creed I have written on behalf of all us.

We believe in Marx Freud and Darwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy is OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything is getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there's something in
horoscopes, UFO's and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man
just like Buddha, Mohamed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher
although we think His good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same--
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it's compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What's selected is average.
What's average is normal.
What's normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It's only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds,
and the flowering of individual thought.


"Chance" a post-script

If chance be the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky,
and when you hear

State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!

It is but the sound of man worshiping his maker.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Cinematically Challenged

I haven't been to a a regular movie theater since Easter. There has been a major quality film drought from Hollywood. I'll take a pass on the recent crop of anti-American flicks and the burp n' fart films that seem to be number one at the box office. I still go to the Fine Arts theater once in awhile to see an independent film. The last one I saw was "Death At A Funeral" and it was great. Laughed my head off.

Today CP wanted to go to a regular theater, so we went to see "The Brave One" with Jodie Foster. It's a remake of "Death Wish", the original vigilante movie starring Charles Bronson. We both check the time at the theater web site and drive to Hooterville to the new octoplex. We get there at 12:40 for the the 12:45 show and the parking lot is empty. I refused to believe the new theater went bankrupt, so CP got out to check the time and the movie really started at 1:45. We both looked at the correct time and then left an hour early. We couldn't blame BP because he just gets in the car and goes wherever, like a lemming.

After a trip to the library to waste an hour, we return to the cinema and get in line for tickets. I'm telling CP I bet there will be some senior citizen in front of us arguing for the senior discount during a matinée. We get to the window and neither of us can remember the title of the movie we came to see. We recalled it starred Jodie Foster, so the kid was able to look it up and tell us what we came to see. I go to get popcorn (the real reason I'm there) and realize it's a whole new crew of counter help. Different faces but the same vacuous expressions as the previous bunch I had last seen 5 months ago.

We enter the auditorium and there is one person there. In a millisecond I can tell she is a nut job. I'm waving BP further up the stairs to try to put at least 6 rows between us. The coming attractions haven't even started and she is talking to herself and has all her stuff spread out like she's at a picnic. Of course, she starts to talk to us even though we are 20 feet away. There are four people in the whole theater: three of us and the loonie. In comes a couple in their seventies, and what do they do? They sit right next to us. In Hooterville, even the simplest things like going to the movies is a barrel of laughs. That's why I'm holding off on the home theater. That, and also because I'm a CB.

The movie wasn't bad, three stars. I have to go to Blockbuster and get the original for CP. Next to going to the movies, seeing every version of the same movie is our favorite pastime.