Saturday, November 02, 2013
Gin Raisins have been recommended by one of my students for my crippling arthritis. This mountain cure consists of golden raisins soaked in gin for two weeks. One takes nine of these raisins a day and in a few weeks one should be doing back bends. Being that Obama has just filleted my health insurance I need to step up and take of myself. Besides, the 82 year old lady who recommended this home remedy seems pretty fit.
In North Carolina liquor is sold in state run stores called ABC Stores. I have seen these stores around, but thought they were an Office Supply chain. I thought they were the southern Piggly Wiggly version of Staples. So I asked CP where the nearest ABC store is and she told me it was about a mile from our house. We go there and the counter guy says "hello Carol " as we walk in. It seems that all the gourmet cooks have staked out a section of the store. The Cooking Channel has been the best thing to hit the liquor store business since the invention of corn liquor. I've been relatively sober since 1979 and I was amazed at the ambience and selections in this liquor boutique. I'm more familiar with the privately owned liquor store with the shotgun under the counter and the Rottweiler sleeping in the corner.
Well according to my friend, in a few weeks I should be ready to start yoga. In the meantime I have to look for my Snaffler so I can open my jar of Gin Raisins.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Well I researched it and it has a few causes and schizophrenia is not one of them. Basically, it comes down to dogs like to eat pooh and sniff butt. It might be his new hypoallergenic dog food that looks that looks the same coming out as going in. No dog would ever do this after eating Old Roy from Wal-Mart.
The Vet sort of pooh-poohed it and said try putting meat tenderizer on his food and that should stop the little salad-shooter from recycling. I bought a big container from Adolph's Meat Tenderizer at Sam's and he continued to recycle. I think it just gave it a mellow piquant after dinner taste. This morning I mentioned it to his groomer. We both agreed that Bo just has a borderline personality disorder and not schizophrenia. She suggested I try the PetSmart medicine called "For-Bid". As I usually do I came home to order it on Amazon-Prime and found out the active ingredient is MSG. Now the reason the Adolph's didn't work was because the fun-suckers and the food-police got the MSG taken out of the meat tenderizer (they replaced it with salt). To the rest of the world MSG is to food what DDT was to Malaria; it saves lives. Here some yuppie gets a headache after going to the Chinese Buffet and we create a health crisis. We blame everything from cold sores to lombago on it.
I've ordered a pound of pure MSG right from China on Amazon. It cost less than 1% of what it cost in PetSMart. I read that after a month he should be cured. If he's not though, I have enough MSG to last until he starts barking in Mandarin.
Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog