Sunday, January 29, 2006

Dog Agility part Deaux


Just a little more Dog Agility pictures. I guess all breeds are eligible. Could you imagine Simba walking a plank or Daisy laying down on anything but a couch.

How about a Wife Agility course. Perhaps a Husband Agility course. Let's see open a beer, change a channel, run to the can , jump over the shoe pile, throw the pizza in the microwave, check e-mail, and return to the recliner before the commercials are over. Let the dog time us.


Dog Agility

So what do you do on a sunny 64 degree January day in Fletcher? You go to the dog agility show at the Equestrian Center about a mile from our house. At the entrance there is a sign that says "No Dogs Allowed". It was hard to get good action shots because "No Flash Allowed". My one accidental flash brought the wrath of the announcer down on me quicker than a Border Collie jumping through a hoop. It was free and it was a nice way to spend a few hours. It was more funny watching the trainers run around trying to lead their dogs up teeter-toters and though tunnels and down slides etc.

Some dogs raced around like bullets and other dogs just sauntered through course. A few just wandered off into the stands or over to the judges to be petted. The Manchester Terriers just glided through the course like gazelles and the Border Collies raced through the course like Lassie on crack. Without a flash they just appeared as a blur in my pictures.










Simba would have been great in this competition. Once she jumped out of a 9 inch square pick-up truck camper window. But there were no Rottwiellers in the competition. All that was needed was para-mutual betting to make it even more thrilling.





Thursday, January 26, 2006

End of the Spear


Well, I did something unusual for me. I went to the movies during the week. I just couldn't wait til the weekend to get away from the blood and gore which is my job. I saw the promo's for this movie and did recall the story being part of a dozen or so sermons I'd heard. So off we went to Hooterville to catch the 4:15 show.

It was really a pretty good production considering the small independant company that made it. It wasn't about missionaries going around putting clothes on people. And it didn't show missionaries bringing disease and greed to an angelic group of savages that didn't understand concepts of property and gender roles. It did show a group of naive missionaries going to a group of rain forest indians that were destroying themselves with family vendettas that would put a Sicilian to shame. There was a little bit of hokiness at the end when they did a scene with spirits rising to heaven that reminded me of the movie Ghost. I have to give it four stars. It was much better than the tripe that usually passes for Christian Cinema. This movie is not for children since it does have some graphic violence. A lot of the cast gets speared like green olives at a cocktail party.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Catch of the Day

I have really been getting my share of large patients recently. I seem to attract patients who resemble Luca Brasi. Everyone is over 300 lbs. I'm talking no neck, bowling balls with ears. Now I thought that was bad but recently I had a 650 Lb. gal that really put me to the test. I'm lucky God has been with me on these so far. Taking care of these patients has been more fun than I've ever had; loads of excitement, all brown.

After going through a cell phone case every 6 months I've gotten a flip phone. Hopefully this will stop me from making all those unintentionable calls with my butt. Or as my kids say when they get a ring and there isn't anyone on the line: "dad's making one of his ass calls". Somehow my rear end would dial foreign countries and put nonsensical numbers into my favorite caller lists. I even sent the audio soundtrack of a c-section to my wife's office answering machine. Hopefully this will keep me from calling people every time I buckle my seat belt.

After driving around our county for 3 weekends house hunting we will probably buy a townhouse in our little development. All the new houses we have seen appear to be of the new American Vulgarian style. They're just butt ugly 4,000 sq. ft. boxes with fake columns and 12 foot ceilings; a combination of fake brick, vinyl siding and bay windows that look like garbage. They look like mini Tara's complete with plastic pillars and glass domes and spiral staircases leading up to the 5 bedrooms and 6 1/2 baths complete with huge Jacuzzi bathtubs mounted on marble pedestals like the bemis seat of Christ. If only I could find a simple 1,600 sq. ft. ranch house on 1/2 acre.

Update: I think we just bought a one story townhouse. After our third tour and short of moving in for a trial week we offered them 163K. I'm not sure we have it because the two 20 year olds who own it don't know what you do to sell a house beyond put a sign in the window. Tomorrow she has to call her lawyer to find out how to do the deal. The average increase in real estate value for this area is 17% a year so to continue to rent didn't make sense.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Follow The Bouncing Ball


As if life isn't hard enough. Now I have floaters in my right eye. Sunday night I thought there was a gnat buzzing around my beard. Except this fuzzy little creature won't go away. He's always there bouncing around like a little baby spider hanging on a string. Then Monday night when I go to bed I see this silver comet circling about once a second. So I went to see my world famous retina specialist and after the usual exam he told me that my eye is fine and this is from the previous clot being reabsorbed and my retina going through some sort of change of life. The buzzing fuzz ball is from a fragment of old blood floating around in the vitreous. There is nothing I can do about till it resolves itself in a few weeks to possibly a year. So for awhile there is nothing I can do about these new friends I have except get used to them. Because they are free floating my brain can't adjust to them and tune them out. So I am happy that my retina wasn't detatching and I don't have to wear a jaunty eye patch. About 35 years ago I would have welcomed my new friends as I laid around Central Park drinking my Muscatel; but now they are just something I have to accommodate. I found the local Floaters Support Group in Asheville so I hope that will help. We meet every Weds. in the dark alley behind the brewery.