Sunday, February 27, 2011

"And She's Buying A Stairway To Heaven"


I'm reading the book "One Second After". It was given to me by a survivalist co-worker. It's about a small NC town that loses all computer capability when terrorists set off some "electro-magnetic pulse" bomb. I've read about 50 pages so far and the clunky dialogue makes me suspect it might be a Christian novel . I hope it's not some fantasy like Tim LaHaye's "No Christian Left Behind" series. I'll give it a hundred pages. Just because I recognize the area where the story takes place isn't a reason to read something that's not written well. If the people in our area lost the ability to text it would reduce us to savages, let alone losing our lap-tops, TVs, cars, and thermostats. I saw what happened when Hurricane Katrina cut off our gasoline for 2 weeks; if it lasted another few days they would have declared martial law.

On a lighter note, I was watching one of the "blab-it-and-grab-it" preachers on TCT network. This is one of the half dozen "sow-a-seed" networks that preach a gospel of mumbo-jumbo that would make a pre-renaissance indulgence selling Catholic Bishop cringe. On the set they had an 8 foot plastic step ladder that was supposed to represent "Jacob's Ladder". The hosts were taking the seed pledges that were called in and crinkling them up and tossing them at the leader. This was suppose to give the impression of "angels ascending and descending to the throne of God". I'm watching this and I can feel the blood pulsing through my left eye. Don't these hucksters realize that this modern ladder has a warning sticker on it saying "Don't Stand On The Top Step?" I really should delete these six channels, but every time I think nobody could be dumber than the politicians in Washington, I flip to the Elmer Gantry channels. If you listen closely to what these fellas are saying you realize they aren't saying a thing. The message is the same "give your soul to Jesus, and give your money to me" or "give your soul to government and give your money to me".

I need to finish this post now, I feel an "electro-magnetic-pulse" coming!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Gag Me




About once a month I swoop down on Sam's Club and make a surgical strike to get dozen or so household staples. This time I mistakenly picked up April Fresh Downy. I didn't notice the fine print and the floral bouquet on the label. However, I did notice that my towels smelled like a baby's butt wrapped in lilac. So I returned it to Sam's a month later and got "clean breeze", which seemed to be the least offensive. Wrong, a week later my quilt still smells like a box of dryer sheets. The fabric softener aisle resembles a display for Yankee Candles; spiced apple, vanilla, pumpkin spice, almond creme, lavender serenity etc.

So it's off to Sam's next week to return a second jug of scented Downy. Now I discovered that Downey makes a softener without dyes or scents. It's called Downy Free and Sensitive and it's sold at Wal-Mart. Yep, those two words describe Babba perfectly: Free & Sensitive.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day Of Rage In Asheville

Now that the nation realizes that Obama is an empty suit and that the government can't create anything of value the masses are declaring Islamic Rage Days. Rage is such a great metaphor. It's like like being pissed off on steroids. It's what happens when people put their trust in the smartest guys in the room.


The country is broke, the states are broke, the cities broke. All these people marching in Wisconsin don't get it. They killed the golden goose with greed. They thought working twenty years then retiring at forty with 80% of your salary with full health benefits was based in reality. This is the mentality that reduced GM into a retirement community and an HMO with a small subsidiary that makes mediocre cars.

It's time to admit that "this dog won't hunt".
At best Obama is a malevolent buffoon; at worst he is an evil genius attempting to reduce our country to a third world banana republic. The barbarians are inside the gates. The fact that we are broke is the stubborn truth won't go away. Wealth is created by by working people going out every day and busting their hump for ten hours. Wealth isn't created by bureaucracy, and prosperity won't flow from. the mouth of the Potomac.

I'm going to enjoy my day of rage southern style, with sunshine, good music and friends. Let the government employees rage Arab style, They are just further alienating the golden goose, the taxpayers.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Just Say No

Temptation takes many forms. Just as King David was walking on his roof when he spied Bathsheba, I was reading in my yard when a neighbor came over and propositioned me. It seems her boyfriend had died and she was wanting to sell his 2000 Cadillac DeVille. Since I was a great admirer of her 1998 Lincoln Town Car she assumed I had a soft spot for ten year old Detroit steel. Now these North Carolina senior citizens cruisers are well kept. They are garage stored and are driven to church, grocery stores, restaurants and the Blue Ridge Parkway. After having a 93 Olds Cutlass Supreme this would be a step up. Also, the Olds needs a muffler and the A/C is broken. There isn't enough deodorant for me to drive that car without air conditioning this summer: I'll turn into a human corn-dog. So the A/C may be the terminal event for the Olds unless it's a cheap fix.


This car has the last great engine to come out of Detroit. That Northstar V-8 puts out 300 h.p. That's twice as much as the V-6 in the Cutlass. I can just imagine CP and I rolling down I-40 in this flying couch.

I summoned all my strength and told my neighbor it didn't make sense with the price of gas going to $5/gal. I said this while inwardly I was lusting after luxury.


In college my roommates discussed what the point of no return was while on a date. To our chagrin one of the guys said his point of no return was when he "picked up the phone". I'm sitting here wanting to call my neighbor up and ask her what the price and the mileage are on the Caddy. After all, like real estate in a retirement area death can be a major factor in used car sales. I have gotten a 73 Olds Delta 88, a 95 Olds 88 and my present 93 Olds Cutlass from dying patients. I knew a nurse in Hospice and referred to it as Hospice-Motors.

I'm curious as to the mileage on the Cadillac. Maybe I'll just call up my neighbor... get behind me Satan!