Saturday, April 30, 2011

SpringFest Brevard N.C.


We went to see "Do It To Julia" at Brevard College SpringFest. The fiddler player used to be one of Ben's old contra-dancing partners. As usual Babba, the man for all seasons, was at home with the co-eds. I haven't been to a good college event since the Gender-Rally at Notre Dame six years ago.






The Lord provided a small tree so CP could have some shade.












However, a student provided a lawn dart!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Kill Bo Vol. 1

Bo has kept us up for the last two nights. He just starts whining in the middle of the night. It's not that loud, but it's just loud enough to wake us up. We get up and let him out of his crate and he runs to every room in the house and then stands at the back door. Normally I would think he just had to poop. However, even after he's gone out he still starts squealing when we put him back in his crate. Now at midnight here I am trying to figure out what's going on with him.
I'm thinking of the possibilities:
There is a critter outside
There is a critter inside
We have a burglar
He's afraid of the thunder storms
He senses a tornado
We have an evil spirit in the house

Well, the tornadoes are gone and if he pulls this crap tonight he's sleeping in the garage; if I wanted a baby I'd adopt one.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Go Bare-Ass

I'm really sick and tired of hearing "American's don't
want to cut entitlements." I don't care what you want America, we are broke. What part of broke don't you understand? In fact we are worse than broke, we are in hock up to our eyeballs. Who are we in hock to? We owe our soul to the devil, the Red Chinese.

America doesn't want to; it sure sounds like whining to me. It's the toddler that doesn't want to go to Children's Church, The teenager that doesn't want to go to grandma's, the pre-schooler that doesn't want to wear a hat in winter. We don't need a bunch of Founding Fathers to come back from the grave and tell us what to do. The word want should not even be part of the conversation. The fact that it's still used shows our understanding of the situation isn't based in reality. It's time for Dad to call the family around the kitchen table and tell everyone the truth. The trouble is, America doesn't have a real Dad, it has a Step-dad that doesn't give a rats rear end about its future.

My Polish Aunt had the right idea. When my cousin didn't want to wear the one pair of clean pants he had to church my Aunt told him "you don't want to wear those pants to church, then go bare-ass." It's time for America to either wear the pants we have or go bare-ass!"

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sixty-four Hours Of House Arrest

Messianic Christians, I don't get it. Is it like the Judaizers revisited? Can't we leave the poor Jews alone? I think it's part of our modern societal group neurosis to attempt to glom onto some other ethnic group. Maybe they want to be more Jewish than Jesus. Where will it end? What's next, Messianic Cowboys, Messianic Episcopalians, Messianic Pipe-Fitters? If you want to live the Law, dance in circles and light candles go ahead; but don't call yourself Jewish. You haven't paid your dues, and you're not smart enough.


Gas is getting close to $4.00/gal, Go-Bama!
Luckily for me I'm not driving to Italy. I never would have thought my Honda Element would hold $48.00 worth of petrol.
My Oldsmobile's Blue Book value changes when I fill up.




In Mexico they are rioting because the price of gas hit $2.80/gal. Maybe if our price goes up to $5.00 gallon' the ones up here will drive back down to join the protest.







Some poor schmo plugged his Chevy Volt in and went to bed only to awaken to his house on fire. Maybe they should rename it the Mr. Coffee. At least they were saved by smoke alarms. There are fifty homeowners in Canada that weren't so lucky; they were electrocuted by their solar panels



What's up with the F.A.A., are they hiring narcoleptics? For $40/hr with full benefits I know a bunch people that can stay awake. If a truck driver falls asleep he's fired. If he's lucky and only kills himself, he might avoid doing hard-time. The government answer to the problem is to hire them an assistant. Look for the Air-Traffic Controllers Assistant program at your local Community College. Can't we just hire an illegal alien with a hat pin to stick the Pickwickian controller in the bum to wake him up? How about this, "You Fall Asleep You're Fired."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Calling All CB's



Wal-Mart has an on-line coupon for lens cleaner and lens cloth. It's free! What's even better you get a free refill whenever you run out. Now I have three bottles that I originally got in 1989 with purchases of glasses. Now for 23 years I have been using this stuff for my glasses, TV screens, computers, fish tanks, mirrors, etc. Of course my bottles have the old Wal-Mart yellow and blue color scheme which causes the counter-help to say "man this is an old bottle." However, I still get my glasses at Wally's and with the 1,000% mark up on frames I'm not feeling too guilty. I insist on having clean eyeglasses, I see too many seniors with glasses that look like muddy windshields.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fourth Time Is Not The Charm


Well, I picked up the Olds yesterday, drove
it out and after a half mile I realized the A/C still is blowing hot air. They replaced the compressor but now the drier (which is always replaced with the compressor) is leaking.

But I'm not discouraged, because the A/C expert is off tomorrow and the young fella that's going to work on it told me "I don't know much about air conditioning." So there is a chance it will be fixed right. After 30 days I can just leave it there as salvage under the "law of the sea." Right now I'm thinking of installing venetian blinds, a block of ice and a fan!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Night At The Opera

Just one more week of Carol in Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's Music of the Night concert. Carol and I were discussing the high ticket price of $40 as we sat down in Sunday School. We kept talking after we sat down. I guess I was talking with my usual loud voice (voice modulation disorder). After Carol gets up for coffee the young lady sitting next to me asks me what show we were talking about. I tell her and explain we were discussing how the high ticket price was beyond the budget of young families.

Well guess what? This young lady is an administrative assistant for the Asheville Lyric Opera. It was like two sisters separated at birth found each other after forty years. The good news is the opera doesn't perform thirty performances over three weeks. Now Carol has an IN with the Asheville Opera; as if she ever has trouble getting a lead. I had the right to remain silent; but not the ability.

Saturday, April 09, 2011

I Need To Blend



I need to get ready for my trip to Rome. It seems my
wardrobe is deficient in scarfs, white pants, and double breasted suits with pocket squares. In fact my wardrobe currently consists of three pairs of Levi's
jeans and four L.L. Bean canvas shirts. I have church jeans, work jeans and dirty work jeans. I do have a dress suit that's on standby for my funeral. I'll have to get a fashion consult before I depart.





Now this is more my kind of fashion. I think I could pick this outfit up at an estate sale in Flat Rock. I think the vest needs to be let out a bit. I really like the three quarter sleeves and the skinny guinea tie.



This look would be a natural for me. I just need some size 40 Docker's , Dr Scholl's velcro walkers, and a breezy cotton shirt. This guy looks just like my grandfather.








These are pictures of Atri, Italy. It's on the Adriatic Sea just straight across the boot from Rome. It's where my ancestors emigrated from in 1918. It's a retirement area and sort of a dump. However, it looks like a great place to me. I hear they are getting a Wal-Mart.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Drinking With Bob



I find that by listening to "Drinking With Bob" I'm able to decrease my Klonopin dose by half. I think I may start my own website "Drinking With Babba". I'm not sure I have enough energy to do the Bob thing; it's easier to just kick the dog.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Mr, Bad Wrench


The A/C in my Olds still doesn't work. It seems like the rebuilt compressor they put in wasn't rebuilt too well. This is now my fourth trip in for this little problem.

I'm doing remarkably well with this. I'm also learning a lot about auto air-conditioning from all the trade magazines in the waiting room.

You know it's bad when you hear the mechanic say "shit" when the office gal tells him "the Olds is back." I feel bad because I know that any profit they made will be eaten up by labor costs and the price of R-32 refrigerant. I had this trouble with rebuilt water pumps from Checker Auto Parts; sure, they're guaranteed, but after the third lemon you get tired of changing it.

I'm praying that the next compressor will be the charm. I can't stand going back to the garage where my car is regarded as a "turd that won't flush."

I want my mechanic to be happy; the same way I am when I see a 500 lb. patient.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

"Now It's Garbage"






Before I opened my new Mr.Coffee $18 coffee maker I had to make absolutely sure the old one was morta so I did an autopsy. I turned it over and ignored the "Do Not Open-No Serviceable Parts" label and looked at what I need to crack it open. Of course the fun-sucking lawyers make sure it is put together with special screw heads that resemble a swastika. However, I'm not deterred and I manage to open the bottom. I fill it with water and look underneath and see the problem, a leaking connecting hose between the heating element and the hose to the drip chamber.

Now I'm getting excited, I'm seeing endless CB possibilities. I take the short piece of hose to the auto parts store in hope of buying a 35-cent piece of hose to slip in there. I was hoping to see the big self-service stand with about a dozen different reels of hose, but instead I have to go to the counter and talk with the guy. I'm sure the counter-help is saying to himself "why doesn't this CB just go out and buy a ten dollar Mr. Coffee." I was
just looking for a piece of heater bypass hose or fuel line hose. The fella says "I have fuel line hose but I'm not sure you want to run your coffee through that." To this I reply "You've never tasted my wife's coffee." I'm sensing this guy really isn't too keen on helping Rube Goldberg solve this dilemma; maybe he's sensing liability issues. Then he points out to me that this little piece of tubing is tapered , and the ends are not the same size. Oh rats, this is getting complicated. The nearest real hardware store is in the next town and the price of Obama gas may be more than a Mr. Coffee. I know that Lowe's will never have what I want and if they do I'll have to find it myself and then buy ten feet of it.

I'm not totally discouraged, though. I have two options, one is cannibalize the part I need from another appliance or check in my garage. I take the whole unit apart and there isn't one spare mm of hose to use. Then I go out to the shed and look over the array of crap I have brought home from work. I find a piece of tubing from a laprascopic irrigator that may work. I'm thinking "if it can handle bile it should make a great cup of coffee." Unfortunately, no matter how much I try I can't make the hose fit. However, I'm glad I found the problem. In this throw-away-society I can't just order the part that I need. I'm just a man "out of time."

My $18 Mr. Coffee coffee tastes pretty darn good. I can't tell the difference between it and the $90 Black and Decker programmable, microprocessored, cone-filtered, carafe model. I'm putting those three boxes of non-bleached fair-trade cone filters on E-Bay. I'll sell them as disposable yamakas.

Friday, April 01, 2011

Nice Bunn's

Can anyone make a coffee maker that lasts more than 18 months and costs less than
$250? We had a Black & Decker Carafe coffee maker that lasted 15 years. After that we have had a parade of coffee makers. Krupp, Cuisinart (cuss-in-at), B&D, G.E. etc.

Now Bunn makes an non-commercial coffee maker for about $150. The problem with it is that it keeps a quart of water heated to 200'F 24 hour a day. Now I'm not a greenie, but it seems like a waste to have a miniature water heater on your counter all day for that morning coffee and evening decaf.

Shopping for a coffee maker will drive you nuts. You read the reviews and they are split between one and five stars. It's the best coffee ever versus the biggest POS ever made. I'm not asking for much in this age of 5G networks, I just want a coffee maker that will last five years. One that doesn't clog up, leak, turn itself off and on or growl like a dog.

Tomorrow I'm going to Wally's and buying an eighteen dollar Mr. Coffee. This way in a year when I turn it on and it goes POP I can just toss it and get another one. Plus, I won't be stuck with 400 fancy #4 cone filters.