Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Past


We found the perfect shirt for Marianne. Yes the world does revolve around moi! Plus she got another book to give her more ammunition for the gender wars. Carol has disappeared into the murky world of Columbo re-runs. Ben after getting a Tony Benett CD, a Godfather DVD and a new hat, has now become Frank Sinatra. Now I just have to get rid of this tree in the living room!

Friday, December 23, 2005

The Tri-Fecta of Worship.


In order to get the Christmas Spirit and since our church has cancelled all services till New Years Day, I have taken it upon myself to push the envelope and go to three services in other churches. The Friday night sabbath kick-off is "The Inn At Bethlehem" at the 7th Day Adventist Church. Sat. night, it's a Contemporary Christian Music Explosion at the "Rock of Asheville Church". This will be followed by a Christmas morning mass at "Our Lady of the Parkway" Catholic church.

Now we already went to the greatest Christmas Extravaganza ever produced, "Christmas on the Mountain" at the Biltmore Baptist Church. This blend of George Lucas and the PTL Club can't be described. The angels with their 12 foot long robes traveling on tracks 20 feet above the audience reminded me of Circus-Circus in Vegas. The show at our little Nazarene Church was great. I knew we were in the south because it's the first time in 20 years that when I ran around the outside of the church dressed as an apostle I wasn't running through snow in flip-flops.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Oh Rats!


About a month ago I started to hear something trying to to chew it's way through the floor under the dishwasher. Well, our crack property management team sent Pedro to check. He said he didn't see anything in the crawl space and that was that. Then the other day we found some chewed up carpet and a chewed up Christmas decoration. I thought we must have a mouse. So this morning while having breakfast at 6 am with Carol, out comes the varmint from behind the Christmas Tree. It was either a big mouse or a small rat. Now maybe the mice in North Carolina are a little big from eating biscuits. Funny thing though: the critter arrived the same night as Marianne. Well, now we are waiting for the exterminator. Being an old ratter from the Bronx I know how to get rid of these pesky fellows but since we just rent I'll leave it to the pro's. Seeing a rat in the morning will wake you up quicker than a double latte.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Our Micro Christmas Tree


We went all out this year and picked up this $15 beauty. Half off if you wait til a week before Christmas with the other cheap people. It's custom made for townhouses. Next year I'm going to look for one that's pre-lit and decorated. Yep, fit right in the back of the Element. They even cut the bottom and drilled and trimmed it.


Don't tell D-55 I got it at Lowe's. Yipes!

The Worst Ice-Storm Ever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to let everyone now we survived the worst ice storm since the one that left Canada in the dark for a month and spoiled all the beer. Actually I give it a 5 where we are. The brunt of the storm hit right below us in South Carolina. There are still people without power in about 1/3 of the area. We lost power and had to rely on our gas fire place and oil lamps. The power would go out for 4 hours and then come on for 30 minutes. Finally around 6 pm we got desperate and ventured out into this icy hell to drive the mile to our favorite Mexican Restaurant. It was touch an go for while; no cable, no internet, no DVD player. I went to work and did see some branches down and felt an icy patch under my wheels as I traversed an overpass. The streets were empty, as most people stayed home and gathered the family around the gas log and siped what they assumed to be their last drink of Evian. Our power came on about 7 pm that night so we were able to abort our plan to put the frozen food on the deck and go to bed with flashlight in hand. We were fortunate to still have our gas log and hot water. Reading by the oil lamp brought back memories of my early childhood when I lived on a farm in the Bronx.

The storm I guess was pretty bad in some areas. Some will be without power for weeks but I find comfort in it being described as the worst storm ever. The next day it was 46' F and sunny. There is a big cleanup from downed trees and power lines but it sure beats 51 inches of snow and the wind howling a gale in Garrett County. I expect G.W. to arrive any day and tour our ravaged region and start handing out money. After all the mall was closed for 3 hours; what could possibly be worse than that!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ho Ho Ho


No this isn't Christmas at the Biltmore Mansion. It's the sum of all my Christmas decorations. The snow man and Santa didn't make the trip from Maryland.

We went to a Christmas Extravaganza at the 3000 seat Biltmore Baptist Church. It was a production worthy of any strip casino in Vegas. The cast of actors was at least 500, plus they had a huge orchestra and choir. They had angels and elves suspended on tracks swirling around the church. The show was about an hour's worth of contemporary Christmas music and drama. This was followed by an hour and a half depiction of all the gospels. This included every miracle, parable and story complete in the King James English with a southern accent. Caiaphas sounded like Boss Hog. It went from complete Andy Williams Christmas Special to a Passion Play. It was Baptists at their best. Jesus hanging on the cross while angels with 12 foot robes swung around him on cables. There was some good drama and some fine singers but I wish I could have heard one Christmas Carol. There were tour buses bringing church groups from all over the south. It reminded me of the Mormon pageant at Palmyra NY.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Georgia on my Mind


After our trip to the Aquarium in Atlanta we made a little side trip to a kayak store in Dawsonville, Ga. I told my navigator I thought it was about 10 miles out of the way, but it turned out to be about 70. I recently purchased a kayak on line and after trying it out a couple of times I decided to return it. Well you just don't stuff a kayak in the drop box at UPS. It came in a 18 foot long box that was taking up our last molecule of space in our micro-machine garage. So I packed it up and drove the long box to the trucking company in Asheville where the warehouse lady complimented me on my packing.

Now the kayak I wanted next is sold right near my house; in fact the North American distributor is based in Asheville. Of course I can't deal with these people because they won't deal. Since I am a man of principle, I can't pay full price for a kayak in December. So after wheeling and dealing with the the store outside of Atlanta I get $100 off the list price and a waiver of sales tax because I'm from out of state and that adds another $112.50 in savings. The owner says he has 2 of the models I want: one in yellow and one in orange. Now before I take the 174 mile trip back to his store I ask him to make sure he has the one I want. He tells me that his computer shows they are in his warehouse out back. I'm being anal so I ask him to check in the warehouse. He says he will send one of his staff to the warehouse to physically put his hands on it and give me a call back. The kid calls in a few hours and tells me there is a Capella 166 in red in the warehouse. I'm happy because the red looked great on a Capella 16 they had in the showroom. I just didn't want the Blue 166 they had in the showroom because I like to really stick out on the water so I'm not run over by jet skiers. After I hang up I get more anal and call right back to remind the kid I want the 166 and not the shorter 160. The kid assures me that it is a 166. The 160 is a nice boat but I'm too heavy for it; when I demo'd it Carol said it looked like a submarine with me being the conning tower.

We arrive at the store and there is my kayak all new and factory wrapped. So I ask the kid to unwrap it and lo and behold it's the smaller 160. Off he goes to get the owner who says he's going to check at his house to see if there is one there. Well, he comes back and by now he's getting psychotic because the only 166 he has is the blue one. He says he has the flu and can't think straight. So he's trying to think of what to do and I'm just looking at the ceiling smiling to myself because this stuff happens to me all the time. Well it winds up that he sells me his personal kayak, a Capella 166 in red with a compass for $500 off. (Now that I have a compass maybe I'll cross Lake Ontario.) Then he offers me 25% off on any accessories in the store for life. Then he went too far and tried to sell Carol another kayak. I told him nothing can separate her from her Dagger Savannah.

Of course we did have good Georgia and S.C. talk radio for the trip. The topic was whether "The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe" is a Christian movie. I guess the the movie makers are afraid of it being labeled a "Christian Movie" and Non-Christians not going to see it. The general consensus was that it isn't a religious film per-se'. Like Tolkien, his buddy C.S. Lewis used fantasy to portray moral truths. It was an interesting couple of hours of talk radio. If it is a religious film our church in Maryland would have tables set up in the theatre lobby to witness and answer questions like they did for Mel Gibson's "The Passion".