Sunday, June 08, 2008

Calling Dr.Howard, Dr.Fine, Dr. Howard

Sometimes it's like I went to sleep and woke up on a different planet. The race baiter
Sharpton, the kook Gore and the bible thumper Robertson are all on the same couch praying for the planet. What's next? Jeffrey Dahmer doing commercials for Head and Shoulders. It is the Theater of the Absurd. The republican candidate Elmer Fudd McCain has signed onto it. The cost of reversing climate change starts at 300 trillion dollars. I just don't have that much lying around. Curious George Obama wants us to keep our homes at 60 in the winter and 90 in the summer. He's like Carter in a foofoo haircut. We have crazy Iranians developing nuclear bombs and we are concerned about the frickin' Polar Bear. Five thousand Polar bears are shot every year by Nanuck of the North because they like to eat people.

I have decided to do my part to save the planet. I'm going to get a motorcycle. I'm looking for a thirty year old two stoke rice burner. I'm going to mix a pint of oil in every tank of gas and sit on the corner of Patton and Biltmore Avenues and blow blue smoke all summer. The first free-range Earth-Mother who says something to me I'll spray with Freon.


Thomas said...

Anonymous said...

Get a Suzuki. I remember them smoking the most... when they were running that is. Yamaha had the oil don't want those.
I think a two stroke weed whacker would work about the same and it is a lot cheaper too.
Don't use the R-12 Freon you can't get it anymore. Blowing it in a tree hugger's face would just be wasting a great product.