Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Island of Misfit Christmas Trees
I heard my first Christmas Carol on the radio. It wasn't a real Christmas Carol per se; it was more on the order of Grandma Got Run Over By A Snowmobile. In a couple of weeks another seasonal tradition will begin: The Island of Misfit Christmas Trees. As soon as the turkey carcass is in the trash an army of people will descend on the factory grounds to decorate trees into collages of ridiculous themes that have nothing to do with Christmas. Every goofy group will be represented with the possible exception of the Satanist (there was an upside down tree one year). By the time this funky forest is complete it will draw people from all over to see everything from UFO's to Nascar portrayed in Balsam Fir. There is no amount of drugs that can prepare you to see a Christmas Tree with a plastic head of Jesus come out of the fog at 6 am.
Our town has decided the theme for its Christmas Parade will be A Green Christmas; pardon me while I puke. I guess the Area-51 theme was taken by Asheville.