Saturday, December 04, 2010

Bottom Falls Out Of The Flock-Market

We don't go nuts with Christmas decorations. In fact the large wreath that hangs over our garage came with the house. It was on the house when we bought it in July. In the last few years we spruced it up with lights and ribbons. However, the giant wreath is looking a little rough. The original white flocking is sort of a muddy brown. It looks like somebody came out of IHOP and threw up on it.

I went to four stores looking for a spray can of polyurethane snow and I can't find it anywhere. All they have is this sissy-pansy stuff called SNOW that is only for indoor use on glass. I bet the EPA had something to do with it.

So what are my options? I have some white lacquer left over from touching up Marianne's bumper-car. A little paint and some Rice-Krispies should work. The problem is a new neighbor who decorated for Halloween like it was Christmas and has decorated for Christmas like his home is Rockefeller Center.

I have finished my tax free Amazon.Com Christmas Shopping. North Carolina sued Amazon for lost sales tax revenue and lost the case. The states are just itching to get their greedy teeth into the inter-net so they can bankrupt that last bastion of free enterprise.

The only problem I have with Amazon is reading the reviews. Ninety per cent of people rave about a product and give it five stars and ten percent of the people give it one star and say it's the biggest P.O.S. they ever purchased. Some of the product reviews are moronic.

"I've had this lap top for two hours and so far its very dependable."
"This coffee maker keeps shutting off after two hours."
"I love my seven inch notebook computer, but the keyboard is small."

I usually look for at least four stars with a nice mix of reviews. If you see something with a five star review it probably from a singular customer whose item hasn't been delivered yet.

Average Customer Rating
3.7 out of 5 stars (216 customer reviews)Why go schlepping around?
Just read the inane reviews!
5 star:
4 star:
3 star:
2 star:
1 star:


M- said...

Babba, here's a novel idea: Throw the wreath away.

Babba-Gi said...

Not in this economy. Then all I'll have left is a plastic snow man. A little ribbon, a few cheap ornaments, maybe another string of 2 dollar lights and I'll be set.

Throwing away is never an option for a CB.

u.f. said...

If there is a contest for best blog post headline, I vote for this post.