Saturday, February 28, 2009
Click Here For Your Free Sham-Wow
I have noticed an increase in the number of commercials on my cable T.V. Between 4 and 5 am that's all that's on the tube. Even the History Channel, my favorite Ambien substitute switches to "paid programming". I expected the usual hucksters selling duct tape that draws the toxins out of your body through your feet or magnets that stop the pain of arthritis, but the Obama Recession has also increased the number of regular commercials. Besides being able to go to the potty during a commercial, I can now make a pizza and have a shower before the program resumes.
The Obama Recession hasn't hurt the late night "name it and claim it" aka "blab it and grab it" preachers. These people are truly a boil on the butt of the church body. It is late night insanity. Peter Popoff (aka Peter Rip-Off) is hawking some Melba Toast that he claims is magic manna from heaven. This manna has a secret recipe of eleven herbs and spices that God personally delivered to Peter. Matthew 14:36 itself has revitalized the textile industry in the south. I can't find any red or green remnants at Foam and Fabric; the red "prayer hanky" is for physical healing and the green is for a financial blessing. The green hanky is also available as a pocket square for those hedge fund managers that need a special touch.
O.K. you're saying what's the point of Babba's harangue? My point is that the Billy Mays's and Elmer Gantry's take advantage of the foolish and simple people who our education system has failed. The hucksters also take advantage of the elderly, mentally retarded and Alzheimer's sufferers . There is a special corner in hell where they will be tormented by all the crap they peddled. The people giving testimonials look strangely similar to those at Obama rallies.
I'm feeling a bit depressed after writing this. I need to go put some some foil on my head, sit on my Sham-Wow and work my abs.