Snow -Weenee-Ism

I know Oswego had 110 inches of snow but, look what I awoke to this morning. This unmeasurable amount of fluff coupled with 28 degrees and a 10 mph wind is enough to paralyze western N.C. Right now there is a mad rush to the store to stock up on milk, bread, beer and videos. School will be canceled at least till Tues. because a one sq. foot patch of ice has been found.

By about 9 a.m. the sun will come out and this crisis will be over. People will talk about this storm for the rest of the week. Bo will assume his permanent position, napping in the sunlight. Of course this won't make the national news. Everyone is all concerned over some squall in Pulasky N.Y.

Snow-Weenee-Ism will continue unabated south of the Mason Dixon line. Where is my muff?

You're in good hands with Allstate

Or as a pastor once said "Have too many accidents and Allstate is going to get you out of their hands". Which brings me to BC/BS of North Carolina. Seems that in order to keep our health insurance premiums the same for that little group of ten merry men I work with, Blue Cross made us an offer we couldn't refuse. Just raise your deductible from $500 to $5,400 and add $10 dollars more to your office co-pay and forget the free generic drugs and we will let you live. Being the smart physicians we are the group opted to create a MERP (Medical Expense Reimbursement Plan). The fellow who came to us with this proposition was one of the docs' friends. The guy reminded me of the "jump to conclusions" guy from "Office Space". However, after a half hour of explanation I began to see that we were really self-insuring the high deductible. Sort of laying off the risk like a bookie. Now the MERP plan required us to do a little more leg work. I had to fax in all my EOB's from BC/BS and my prescriptions, etc. Now our BC/BS card no longer listed any of the former benefits like co-pays and Rx. drugs. Instead it just had that $5,400 deductible printed on it in day-glo letters; which meant you better have your VISA card with you at all times. The name of the MERP company I can't divulge because of the ongoing investigations by the SEC, FBI and Justice Department. We asked for a card to put in our wallet so we didn't get harrassed for the co-pays. Our MERP company sent us cards that tried to explain the screwy plan in 250 words or less. This card (which looked like I made it on Photo-Shop) caused a myriad of dumb looks and confusion at all the Dr's offices and pharmacies. This new-deal plan coincided with CP's foray into the chiropractic nebula. About 3 days a week I was at the Fax machine working the MERP. All went well for a couple of months, but then the checks stopped. I had the sneaking suspicion that I was faxing to some machine located in a storage facility. Finally the truth came out: the MERP company had moved off shore. To the Cayman Islands; to be specific: GPS latitude 34 longitude 183. But it gets even better!

The hospital I am affiliated with and to whom my doctors works for will no longer accept BC/BS. It seems they say BC/BS is low balling them and the two are in a spitting contest. Besides not being able to go to the hospital I'm affiliated with, or see colleagues I know on a first name basis, this will also cut down my revenue if the BC/BS patients have to go to the next town along with me. I found this out as I was leaving work to go for my three month blood-pressure appointment. I'm driving the mile from the hospital to my affiliated doctor thinking I'm not going to pay $96 for a blood pressure check. I walk in and am trying to remain coherent. I asked the receptionist (who I lovingly refer to as the amoeba) if it is true that they no longer accept BC/BS. She says YES. She says "we really feel bad about it and there isn't anything we can do, I'm afraid we will be losing allot of patients". I calmly say "cancel my appointment, this means I have to find another doctor". By now I feel like blood is about to shoot out my right eye.

Everyone knows that rumors travel around a hospital quicker than the common cold. I come home and tell CP and she tells me there is a letter in the mail from the hospital concerning this. I don't care to look at it. Instead, I do what I usually do when I'm stressed out: I go to SAM'S CLUB. As I am walking in my cell goes off and it's my doctor telling me that the BC/BS thing doesn't take effect for six weeks. She tells me I need to keep my blood pressure under control and that hopefully this little feud with the insurance companies will be resolved in the next six weeks. I didn't feel like a total mug because her office staff didn't have the facts straight either. So I'm rescheduled for this Weds. Now for me to get out of work by 3:15 pm, the time of their last Monday through Thursday appointments, isn't easy so I really feel like a bone-head. Alas, don't worry, George Bush is going to fix health care with a tax deduction for 2 per cent of the population. But don't get me started on that. Somewhere in the Cayman Islands there is some insurance CEO drinking a Pina-Colada on my tab.

Where's Waldo

We just returned from Savannah GA. We ate at Paula Deen's Restaurant. I had the best southern fried chicken of my life. If I lived there it would be death by trans-fat. One has to make reservations early in the day , in person, for Paula's place. Then you line up with the rest of the salivating mob across the street and wait to have your name called. See if you can pick out CP in the crowd of eager connoisseurs. CP ordered the seafood platter which I captured on film. I went for the mountain of chicken and baby-back ribs on the buffet.

Seeing that Savannah was the only major southern city not burned to the ground during the War of Northern Aggression it is rich in history. We visited a cemetery. I took a picture of this headstone because after reading of all this great man's accomplishments I was amused at what a second billing his wife got. The marker must have been purchased by his family.

Sticker Shock.

Saturday was beautiful. It was sunny and 72 degrees. It was so nice that Ben and I took Bo to the Arboretum to hike. Now it costs six dollars to park in the Arboretum parking lot so I decided to try to find a place to park and hike in. I found a trail head and we parked and went on a great 5 mile hike and found the trail into the arboretum. Now we didn't sneak in, there is a gate that is open till 6 pm.

When I parked I did notice a NO PARKING sign about three cars down. It had the arrows pointing both ways but I didn't see another sign nearby to tell exactly where the No Parking zone ended. Also, there where about a dozen other cars parked there. When we wearily returned to the trail head I saw this wild Arab guy running around. He comes up to me and shows me this piece of paper and stammering, asking me what it means. I look at it and tell him it's a ticket. So he points to my windshield and I see I have a ticket also. I take a breath and decide I'm not going to let this ruin my beautiful day. Then I open it and the fine is $75 plus a $25 administrative fee, for a grand total of $100. Now since when did parking tickets go from $15 and $25 dollars? It's not like I was parked in the handicapped place in front of the hospital for crippled children's heli-port. It seems that this "Experimental Forest" is federal land and this is now a federal case. So Officer Dibble just gave a dozen citizens fines equaling $1,200 dollars in less than 20 minutes. Driving out I did notice the sign showing the end of the no parking zone. It was about five cars down around a bend and up a hill. I drove out feeling good about finding the other entrance to the arboretum, and saving $6. A mile down the road I see the Arab at another trailhead ranting and raving to some ranger.

Did you ever wonder where Ted Kazinsky and David Koresh types come from? I came home and considered my options. I couldn't take the day off to go to Federal Court. Although I did consider sending my advocate CP. I could ignore it and wait till a warrant was issued and I wound up in "Federal Pound Me In The &#@ Prison". Or I could just pay it. I had CP go to the web site and put it on my VISA card. It's amazing how efficient the federal government can be when it comes to collecting your money. I'm not ready to build a cabin in the woods yet, but I'm going to make a $400 dollar donation to charity to get my $100 bucks back at tax time.

"TOP OF THE WORLD MA"

Bo Has A Past !

After waiting four months to get an appointment at Dreamboat Dog Coiffures in Hooterville, I finally got Bo in today. Now he has been looking a bit shabby. He kind of was taking on the appearance of a four legged wookiee. So I took him to Dreamboat. According to his breeder they are the only ones who know how to cut a Welsh Terrier. I walk in and they all seemed to remember Bo-Hickett. It seems during his first haircut at 4 months old he bit the stylist. I told them that I didn't have any problems with him when he had his trim at PetsMart. Well they took my cell phone # and I waited for the call and listened to the radio just in case there was any reports of a mauling. I picked him up 4 hours later and the staff were all amazed at how good he was. The said he was like "a different dog". Thanks to my training skills. I assume I saved him from the Dog Whisperer. They did recommend more frequent hair appointments and charged me $5 more for the extensive make-over and hair disposal. The lo-cal Beneful dog food has caused him to lose 2 lbs. I didn't notice the weight loss that took place under his Chewbacca hair. So I was so happy that he really wasn't a Ted Bundy after all. I'm off to take him for a walk and introduce my new dog to the nieghbohood.

Ho Ho Ho

We went to get our Christmas Tree. It was 76 degrees and sunny but we fought the elements and went out any way. Lowe's had the usual Christmas Twig for $21. You had to pay $42 for anything that resembled a tree. CP warned me not to bring home another pygmy tree like I did last year. So we found a Christian Ministry selling trees. It was Crossfire Ministries sort of like athletes In Action. They had one nice tree on the lot. I offered them $20 for it and cinched the deal. Just as the guy was about to wrap it up he discovers a tag on it that says "Save, Sold to Sheldon $30". So we then look around the lot again and then were about to leave when the guy comes over and says we can have that tree for $20. So we have a little Christian small talk and he loads the tree. As we are driving out I see him putting the "Sold to Sheldon" tag on another tree. Always make 'em feel they are getting a deal.

I moved the 48 gallon fish tank out of my office/TV room/recliner emporium to the living room. This was done in anticipation of Monday's arrival of Princess Leia. Or as I like to call her Princess Lei-Arounda. I will put the trundle-bed in there for her. This way she can sleep in, without Bo licking her toes. Marianne made it quite clear that the air bed in the living room was not going to cut it. After filling up 3 trash cans with water and removing the gravel, plants, rocks and fish, Ben and I carried it to the living room. I positioned it carefully checked it with a tape measure, plumb line and GPS and then returned the 600 lbs. of water with a bilge pump. As I put the last gallon in I realized the outlet (which was 4 inches from the side of the stand) was not a GFI (ground fault interrupter) outlet. In my office/den the circuit has a ground fault breaker in the fuse box. So, I'm looking at my options. Break my hump trying to put the GFI outlet in next to the tank, or buy a 15 amp GFI circuit breaker for the box or a GFI extension cord. The later two choices are both expensive. Then I had a moment of clarity and realized that I could put the GFI device in any outlet that was proximal to the fish tank outlet. To my utter delight the fish tank outlet was the last one on that circuit! There I am happily putting the the GFI outlet in a spot right out in the open. Now, I have installed about a half dozen ground default interrupter outlets in my life. In Maryland they would always fry with the lightning strikes that were common on our little windy hill. They are not really surge protectors per-se, but they have saved many of our T.V.s and computers. And I actually know a man whose life was saved by a GFI when his wife dropped the hairdryer in his bathtub. As a safety feature the new devices won't work if installed improperly. You have to connect the line circuit to one spot and the load circuit to the other and have a good ground. So I'm reading how they have made the device idiot-proof and chuckling to myself. Then I take my meter and identify the line and the load wires and hook it up and voila, I had it backwards. So I get out the directions and read them and it says if the device doesn't work you hooked it up backwards,(DUMMY)! Now I have the fish tank in the living room for all to enjoy, and best of all I can drop the light in it while I have my hands in the tank, standing in a puddle, leaning on a pipe and test my new GFI.

The Jaunty Mr. Bo

Bo just got his Lands End Squall jacket. It came just in time since he is getting his hair clipped in two weeks. I really didn't plan on him getting so mangy but Dreamboat Hair Salon For Dogs had a three month waiting list. They are the only ones in western North Carolina who know how to cut a Welsh Terrier. PetsMart asked what breed he was and then got their book out to look him up.