The "Full Marianne"

POLICE I.D. # 4578989765


Today I went to my local library website to request a book. To my surprise I had an $8.00 fine. This is highly unusual for me, so I called to inquire about it. I got the weekend counter help on the phone so I knew I was in trouble. [This retired matron of Auschwitz is the same lady who tried to have me arrested because my cell phone went off there one Saturday morning. I was the only person in the library at 9 am (I was waiting for CP who was at "Foam and Fabric") so it's not like the brief ring distracted anyone who was working on their thesis.] She told me it was a fine on an inter-library loan and that the three books were returned. I asked what the names of the books were and she told me she didn't have that information. After a long harangue she handed the phone to the intelligent person assigned to the desk that day. I knew from her voice who it was and she told me to please hold while she tried to get more information. The intelligent lady told me it was three " French" books from another library that were returned two weeks late. The operative word here was "French". At that moment I understood that this had the familiar M.O. of Marianne all over it. I apologized to the intelligent library lady, and told her I understood the origin of the fine. As usual Marianne has managed to make one of her parents out to be a blithering idiot. Marianne almost got away with it; forty-eight hours later and she would have been on her way to France.

Now to manage this Marianne had to get on my computer, use my library card number and password to request these books. She didn't have my card, because I sleep with it under my pillow while she's home. So this was a clear case of identity theft.

Does anyone else have a similar story? Just ask CP about the time Marianne had her call up the credit card company and pretend to be her. Dick, did she ever pay you for the tires you got for her in Rochester?

The Latter Rain

Our four months of drought are over. We are getting the run off from Hurricane Faye. This morning I got out of bed to the squishy feel of a wet rug. I thought the drain in the back yard was clogged and the water came in over the slab. I was wrong. It seems like the roof was leaking. The swat team of water removal experts arrived and after tearing out the wall and ceiling they discovered the leak. Now the room is full of industrial strength blowers, dehumidifiers and air filters. The roofer came and after a few "yups" said he'd be back when it stops raining, in a few days. I'll guess we will be out of the bedroom for a couple of weeks, or until the "SHIRK BROTHERS" come by to patch the wall, paint and relay the carpets. I have to go empty the bucket that's catching the rain water. It fills up in about 30 minutes.

BO-TOON

Marianne when you go to France can I have your bed?


Bo I haven't got my VISA yet!


"Bo I got my VISA, I'm going to France!"
"Marianne I knew you would get it. Could you
leave me your black bra when you go?
I'll take care of it, I promise!"

Where's Waldo

The graduating class of the Foreign Service Academy. See if you can find Ben.

It's About Time Someone Did Something For The Family Name

Looks Like Somebody Has a Case of The Mondays!


David, we are moving your office to the basement!

We Like Big Tomato. And We Do Not Lie!

The New Cultural Attache

Let's give it up for Ben. The new assistant cultural attache to Saudi Arabia.

The Harvest Is Ready

After almost four months the crop is nearly ready. This is our first organic, free-range, non-caged, pesticide-free (almost) locally grown tomato. Of course this beauty had the help of the "constant gardener" Mary. She rescued it from the pot on the patio and transplanted it. It must have gotten more sun where she planted it, because all the other tomatoes are still green. Now we are in a drought, and restricted to watering once a week. I refuse to let my crop die. I'll give up my showers first.

Plants: $15
Cages: $12
Soil: $10
Pesticide: $7
Water: $8

Your first homegrown tomato; PRICELESS!

Hurricane Hannah Heading Up The Coast To N.Y.

Hurricane Hannah heads up the coast tomorrow in her return to the Empire State. Hannah carries with her a load of debris from the Carolina's. Included in the storm is a new hairstyle, new clothes, dozens of new and tasty home cooked recipes, a sample of genuine down home southern cuisine, an introduction to Blue Grass music, a taste of Southern Baptist theology, a new appreciation for Shakespeare and community theater, a much fuller exposure to the cinema, a deeper knowledge of fabric, clothing design and fashion.

As she boarded the plane in Charlotte, Marianne was heard to say, "My work here is done".

Close all the churches and open the theaters.

Another hit for Marianne the director. It was a grand night for an opening. A balmy August night with the warm smell of clematis rising up in the air. Or was that poison ivy?

It was Shakespeare played as intended. It was fast, farcical, bawdy and profound.

The seasoned veterans of the stage combined with the energy of youth . The foibles of youth, love, honor and old age all brought center stage.
















Major snaps to all the players, the board of directors and the city of Asheville for their investment in the Montford Park
Theater.