We arrived in Chicago about 0800 and exited our pencil-jet onto the tarmac where it was a windy, wet 40 degrees. We wait outside for our luggage to be unloaded onto the trolley and driven twenty feet to a magical line where a shivering mob is waiting. After finding our bag among the thirty identical black carry-ons the march of the penguins begins. The flock begins the walk through a maze of concrete barricades, under dripping air-conditioners and finally up a stairwell to the terminal.
We were told to take the shuttle between B-33 and C-31. Now that's about as far away as you can get and still be in Cook County; we have 29 minutes to get our connection. We are booking along when CP sees the sign for the shuttle. It's between the Men's and Ladies' rest rooms and looks like the entry to a utility closet. I was looking for a monorail. We open the door to the closet and there is a stairwell full of people. They are waiting for the "hoopty", a little shuttle bus like the courtesy van a hotel would use. Finally we move till we get to the front where the lady pulls the rope across and says we have to wait for the next bus. CP is doing her out-of-towner schtick telling the bored attendant we have nineteen minutes to make our connection.
Finally we get into the hoopty and it lumbers the three hundred yards across the tarmac, stopping for every luggage train and almost getting hit by a catering truck. We arrive at B-33 just as they are calling our zone. I can't believe a major city airport connects its terminals with a hoopty! The super-sized fellow next to me on our plane tells me "it's been like this for ten years, O'hare is a #%$@ hole". on