The Fun Suckers

The feminists grabbed our women,
The liberals banned our guns,
The health cops snuffed our cigarettes,
The bailout has our funds,
The laws of Breathalyzing
Put an end to our roadside bars,
Circle the Fords and Chevys, boys,
THEY'RE COMING FOR OUR CARS

P. J. O'Rourke

Another $ 2,ooo,ooo,ooo for cash for clunkers. Another band-aid solution that just moves the problem down the line six months. What other industry needs stimulation? How about cash for old homes, cash for refrigerators, cash for air conditioners or cash for guns. The gun industry is the only one that is prospering today, but they still bring out this gun-buy-back canard every few years for a photo op.

It all started with seat belt laws. Helmet laws came next, followed by state inspections emissions testing etc. I am amazed that motorcycles haven't been banned along with buttered popcorn and chain saws. The average step ladder comes with 4 warning stickers and one of them says don't stand on ladder. You should always use safety goggles while clipping your toenails and don't use this toaster in the bathtub. The radio station reminds us to wear a coat if it's ten below zero, coffee is hot, ice cream is cold and slow down driving in snow. The result of all this lunacy is that we have a generation of people that are really "too stupid to live". All this has the effect of fostering dependency and passivity. Before we euthanize our auto industry through regulation let us not forget what the American automobile industry did for American prosperity.

Cash for Geezers

You can help the environment, the deficit and health care if you just trade in Grandma. Any Grandma over 7o, with chronic illnesses who requires Ensure to get her motor running is eligible. The decrease in carbon dioxide emissions alone makes this an eco-friendly choice. You can take this $4,500 and get an abortion, a wind turbine or some solar panels. Act quickly because like Cash for Clunkers this program may be bankrupt in three days.

Cash For Clunkers or Repo-City?

This is my baby; how dare the Car-Czar call this a clunker? It's got 169 K miles on it, and it averages 20 mpg and gets 28 on the highway. I fill it up once a month and it has only had one major repair (blown intake manifold gasket). I keep it because I'm a CB. If it got 2 mpg less I could go down to the Hyundai dealer and have it euthanized. Then for only 11K I could get a Hyundai Sonata that would avg. 28 mpg.


Why do I think this is this dumb? We are taking good cars and pouring lapping compound in the engines to destroy the motors. Then the car goes to the crusher where its parts value is destroyed. Then it's off to the scrap yard where it is recycled and the rubber, plastic and steel shipped to China. Now the effect on the environment is about as negligible as an aborted bovine fart. Any fuel cost savings will be eaten up by higher registration taxes and insurance. The poor recession-whipped working class dog now has a car payment. In a few months you will see a lot of small cars for sale in the Penney-Saver; if you're looking for your clunker you may find it has reappeared as a toaster in Wal-Mart.

I'm glad to see our central government is helping to foster restraint and frugality during these tough times. Larry Burkett always said that "the cheapest car you can buy is the one you already own". The auto bubble was fed by easy credit and people loving that new car smell. Today's cars can last at least 200K miles. So what is government doing but promoting consumerism, irresponsibility and a throw away society? Just wait until you see the fraud discovered in this scam. Maybe, if I had an 88 Suburban with 250k miles on it that was rusted away I'd go down and get me a deal on a new "rice-burner". But I would pay cash and not get stuck with interest charges and fees and taxes that eat up the any cash incentive from Obama. I'm not going to have anyone tell me what to do with my Oldsmobile; especially when he's sitting on my lawn, drinking my beer.

Wellness Can Cost an Arm and a Leg

Wellness is the new buzz word for common sense. Now if the intelligentsia want to create a new age concept for what formerly was called nutrition, exercise, and hygiene, that's just swell. Preventative medicine, public sanitation, and healthy habits can provide a better quality of life and maybe add a few months to it. One thing that all this concern with health and longevity isn't is cheap.

We all know we should eat well, exercise, get enough rest, avoid smoking and drink with moderation. That's the easy and cheap part. The expensive part is the medical treatment. It's not the treatment of acute problems, but the chronic illnesses we are preprogrammed with that are breaking us.

An example of this is the class of drugs called "beta blockers" (BB). BB's are used to treat hypertension, cardiac arrhythmias, congestive heart failure and a slew of other problems. These wonder drugs lower the blood pressure, slow the heart, steady the rhythm and decrease the heart's need for oxygen. A side effect is that the person feels poopy; like a car with a governor on the throttle. This one class of miracle drugs probably increases ancillary costs to Medicare about a billion a month. The nursing homes are full of non-ambulatory, demented, elderly who are waiting to die from urinary sepsis. They are blind, deaf, incontinent, they need feeding tubes and skilled nursing care. However, because of the "beta blockers", that heart is chugging along at 50 beats a minute and their blood pressure is 100/60. These drugs are so beneficial that if the heart rate drops to 40 the patient will get a pacemaker just to remain on them.

This is the flip side of modern medicine. Wonder drugs, screening tests, glucose monitoring, mammograms, PSA's and personal trainers may lead to a longer and healthier life but, they DON'T save money. So when some politician tells you he is going to save you money through preventative medicine and wellness programs, he is a liar. Death is cheap.

Ken-L Ration Health Care

The latest health reform buzz word is "rationing". Why is it such an awful word? Unless you are Bill Gates your whole life consists of some form of rationing. We have rationing now and we will have it in the future. What is the alternative? Do we spend a million dollars a day to keep one child alive? Do we offer an 89 year old with stage four cancer surgery, chemotherapy, radiation or a bone marrow transplant? "But," someone will say "You can't put a price on a human life." We do it everyday. We buy a car that contains three thousand dollars of safety features; if cost didn't matter we would drive around in Sherman Tanks. All we can do is create enough wealth to drive the cost of a human life higher. In the U.S. a human life is worth $1,700. In Somalia a human life is worth 17 cents. We need to look at what we can get for that 17% of our GDP spent on health care. Sometimes there are no good choices. Death comes to every person. It's terrible, especially with children, but it can't be bought off. This is another part of an affluent nation's state of denial. The rich will always get the best, that's the way it is and that's how it's always been. We have to tone down the hysteria of the socialists, the right to lifers, the statists, the globalists and the Hemlock Society. How can we use our finite resources best to bring an acceptable level of health to our society? Maybe "do everything you can for grandma" isn't the best response in every situation. These are terrible choices that haunt people, however waving the bloody shirt of rationing solves nothing. There is a middle ground between society spending half a million dollars to keep great Grannie around for three more months versus putting Grannie out on an ice flow to await the polar bear because she can't chew the blubber anymore.

All these policy buzz words are just "dead herrings", they shine, but they stink. They are meant to stifle discussion. The other buzz word that bugs me is "wellness" but I can't handle that right now without blood shooting out my nose.

What Health Insurance Isn't

Insurance is supposed to protect individuals and businesses from rare catastrophic events.
The idea is to lay off risk, which is why insurance isn't even the correct vehicle to handle medical expense. If you are over 70 years old most medical expenses are not rare and a good share are catastrophic. Somewhere around forty our bodies are really moving away from insurance to pre-payment. A young healthy teenager really needs accident insurance more than medical insurance. A geezer needs medical insurance because every little accident can kill him.

First, health is what we do for ourselves and second, medicine was what others do for us. Medicine is supposed to come along after a lifetime of neglected and squandered health and make all things new. Two things that don't save money are wellness programs and preventative medicine. You may live a month longer but you are just going to consume more dollars trying to eek out that extra month in the day room.

Insurance should be like auto coverage. You use it when you have a wreck. It's not there to cover routine oil changes and wiper blades. Yet, more and more people expect their policy to cover prescriptions, eyeglasses, vitamins, OTC pain relievers, chiropractors, massage therapists, marriage counseling etc. People will not be happy until they don't pay for anything and have everything. They want Cadillac care at Ford prices. Cataract surgery on both eyes costs $24,000 cash. The reason it costs so much is because Medicare only pays $1, 400 for both eyes. Without Medicare the cash price per cataract surgery would be about a grand. So for two thousand dollars ( the cost of four RV tires) you have your eyesight restored to new for the rest of your life. Why don't people want to pay for such a bargain? No one wants to get sick or old so no one wants to pay for it. Since someone else is paying for it nobody cares how much it costs or how necessary it is. When it's time to put that third pacemaker in 99 year old Aunt Edna who sits restrained in a chair trying to eat her own face the family says go for it. If that family had to pay for that pacemaker ($20,000) with its 15 year atomic battery they would at least pause to think about it.

What's the answer? How about mandatory insurance for everyone with a deductible equal to 10% of your yearly income. The government would be forced to take care of the catastrophic illnesses; as it already does. Catastrophic illness should be handled like bankruptcy, you can keep your house and your car and wide screen TV. I should be able to get medical insurance for about $400 a month and when my last $400 is gone , boom I'm on Medicaid.

If medical insurance is a right, what else is a right? Is a home a right? What about an SUV? How about free Legal Services? Is food a right? How about clothing? Where does it end? Try to go buy car insurance after you've had the wreck; see how far you get.

Some Rob You With A Six-Gun; Others With A Fountain Pen

CP was down at our Congressman's office to join the protest against the state sponsored takeover of the the nation's health care industry. It was exciting to see CP on camera during the local news along with the other right wing yahoos. WLOS couldn't just report on the protest, they felt the need to put in a scripted human interest story to divert attention from the true meaning of the protest.

The Minnick's took early retirement and moved to Mexico to retire in third world luxury. Nobody goes to Mexico for the medical care unless you want a boob-job. While down in sunny Mexico two things happened. First the U.S. economy collapsed and second, drug wars broke out threatening the security of the new Yankee immigrants. These reverse wet-backs are in much better shape than others trying to survive this recession.

I was so moved by their story that I sent the TV station a dollar to pass on to the Minnick's to help with the high cost of health insurance and their dwindling 401K. Perhaps if enough people join me in this fundraiser we can get them a ticket back to Mexico. We all know Mexican health care is the best in the world. As I write this thousands of Gringo's are wading across the Rio Grande to get their MRI's and liver transplants.