Monday, March 14, 2011


I'm on a forced vacation. It's use it or lose it. Since March isn't a big vacation month I'm just going to stay home and take care of business. Today I renewed my driver's license. I usually move before I have to do this. It's not due for a few months ,but they sent me a reminder card. This being N.C. where everything is a royal pain, I thought I better get this done while I have a full day to commit to the DMV. I called to make sure I didn't need my Social Security Card, Birth Certificate, Proof of Insurance, Passport, Credit Report, Proof of Vaccination, Background Check and latest Colonoscopy report and T.B. Test. I was surprised to find out all I needed was my present license and cash.

They did tell me to try to come in early because it tended to get crowded after ten AM. So I set off with a granola bar and a book; I figured I was in for a siege. When I arrived here six years ago and went to get my license the place was packed with more Mexicans than Home Depot. I thought I was at INS instead of the DMV. So I arrived ready for the usual bureaucratic inertia and was surprised to find three people ahead of me. It took less than ten minutes. I recognized the signs and could read the second line without my glasses so the state has granted me the privilege of driving for eight more years.

I happened to bring with me that book (One Second After) my coworker lent me about terrorists setting off an electro-magnetic-pulse bomb (EMP) in Black Mountain, N.C. The EMP bomb knocks out all computers and electronics in the south east. In effect, anything that uses a computer, including cars, cell phones, power plants, etc are toast. I didn't want the examiner to think I was one of those foil-hat wearing survivalists, so I turned it over on the desk. Now a book about Armageddon written by a local college professor that takes place in our area does get attention. The examiner tells me to sit in the chair for my new license photo, then he says "I'm going to take your picture, unless an electro-magnetic-pulse knocks out my camera." Imagine that, a state employee with a sense of humor; I shouldn't be such a stranger to the DMV.

Tomorrow, day two of my stay-cation, I'm getting a root-canal; WHOOPEE!

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