Saturday, March 15, 2008

Flight From Hell

This was the worst flight of my life. Behind me sat three women, probably nurses, who talked constantly for the whole 4 hour flight. I'm not talking about normal voices here. I mean you could hear them four rows away. They were so loud I couldn't hear the movie or my i-Pod. I'm not sure what model plane we were on but in the middle of the plane right across from us was the lavatory. I don't know if all the passengers had Mexican food before boarding but about an hour into the flight it started to stink like an outhouse. Someone must have complained about the septic field odor because they sprayed some citrus air freshener that was sickening. It was like being in a cesspool of Tang. Thirty minutes out from Vegas the Captain requested all passengers return to their seats and buckle up for a rough ride. It was really turbulent and after a few good dips I realize I'm getting air-sick. We landed at the airport with my face in the barf bag; how embarrassing. Now I have flown dozens of times in little propeller planes and never got sick. I even survived Mesa Airlines in New Mexico which was known as "the vomit comet". I was able to regain my composure a bit before exiting since it was another 25 minutes before they opened the door. One of the cows sitting behind me pushed in front of me to get off a milli-second sooner. When she got to the door she told the stewardess it was the most pleasant flight she had ever been on. Perhaps if you are talking constantly at 85 decibels for four hours you can't smell the poop. No more US Air for me.

3 comments:

Aunt Dot said...

Quadruple LOL!!!!

Now you're really going to scare Mary...

Mary, it's not always like that, you know! (only sometimes) Tee hee

Mister G said...

Babba-Gi: I loved your story, and wanted to ask you a question (I couldn't find any other way to contact you). Could you please email me at contact@flightsfromhell.com?

Thanks,

Gregg

M- said...

How much did you pay for the tickets that got you a seat next to the bathrooms? Buyer Beware. You should've had Carol work her magic stare.